


Emotions

by shesherlobster



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-05-25 23:05:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 46,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14987540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shesherlobster/pseuds/shesherlobster
Summary: A series of short one shots, each one portraying a different emotion. I’ll take prompts for this, if there’s a particular emotion you’d like to see covered, send me a message!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter one. Emotion: jealousy. 
> 
> This can be read as a continuation of chapter two of my other one shot series. The ‘vet function’ that Vanessa is trying to get Charity to attend.

‘Ness...Ness are you even listening to me?’

Vanessa nods but her eyes don’t stray one millimetre from where her gaze is currently burning through the back of some over qualified rich vet from the city. She sent Charity over to get drinks ten minutes ago and Vanessa can see the drinks plain as day on the bar next to her girlfriend, and yet, Charity hasn’t returned with them in favour of staying to chat to this Mystery Man. Who is definitely asking for it if he touches Charity’s arm one more time. She can feel Rhona staring at her waiting for a response and yet she can’t seem to tear her eyes away from what’s going on at the bar. Rhona finally seems to clock on to what’s happening, glancing over before scoffing and nudging Vanessa’s shoulder lightly. 

‘Come off it Ness. You aren’t jealous of him are you? As much as it pains me to say it, Charity looks at you like you invented running water, that woman follows you around like a lost puppy most days.’

The words fall on deaf ears as Vanessa hands her clutch bag off to Rhona before making a beeline for her girlfriend. As she gets closer she can start to hear their conversation. Charity is making a sterling effort to talk animals, the subject of the conversation seeming to be a misbehaving cow. She makes sure to approach from slightly behind Charity, so the other woman isn’t aware of her until she’s draping herself across her front to reach the drink waiting on the bar. 

‘Thanks for this babe, I was getting really thirsty.’

Vanessa makes a show of taking a long slow sip, her other hand resting on Charity’s shoulder as her eyes burn into the other woman’s. She then leans forward and places a lingering kiss on the corner of Charity’s mouth before entering the other woman’s personal space even further and whispering loud enough to ensure the man standing uncomfortably beside them can hear. 

‘I’m thirsty in other ways too.’

There’s a cough from her left, and she barely pays Mystery Man any attention whatsoever as he excuses himself from the situation with a stuttering apology. 

‘Oh sorry, was I interrupting?’

Vanessa waves her hand in the retreating man’s general direction and Charity’s looking at her now with a slight amount of trepidation and panic and Vanessa can practically see the excuses and explanations rolling around inside the other woman’s brain. Vanessa doesn’t give her the chance to use any of them though, smoothing down her dress and taking another long sip of her drink before turning and walking away without a word. She makes sure to put an extra sway into her hips, knowing Charity will be watching her retreat. They had been late to this event because of this dress, Charity pinning her against the front door and making particularly good use of her lack of underwear before they made it out, so Vanessa is well aware of the effect she will be having on her girlfriend right about now. Rhona simply grins at her and shakes her head as Vanessa arrives back at her table. 

‘Is she still looking?’

Rhona takes an extra surreptitious glance over Vanessa’s shoulder before nodding slightly. 

‘She looks like you went into her house on Christmas morning and stole all her presents. What on earth did you say to her?’

Vanessa grins and shakes her head. She knows putting on a show like that was neither dignified or required, But then her girlfriend is ridiculously hot and she’s fed up of having to fend off a variety of men and women who think they might have a chance with Charity. Placing her drink down on the table, she decides to go back and talk to her girlfriend. She turns without looking where she’s going and runs smack bang into the very woman, Charity wasting no time babbling apologetically. 

‘Babe I’m sorry, he started talking to me and i couldn’t get away and he was soooooo boring and you know me. Ordinarily I’d tell him where to go but this is your job yeah. And I don’t want to embarrass you. Or get you in trouble. Or owt. Feeeeel free to jump in any time soon Ness because I am SO not comfortable with apologies. As you well know.’

With a roll of her eyes and a slap of her hands on her thighs, Charity slumps down into the nearest seat and looks dolefully at her shoes as she kicks them against the table leg. She looks up in surprise when Vanessa unceremoniously plonks herself down in Charity’s lap, reaching for the other woman’s hands and placing them on her hips. Charity gulps because the dress is thin, and the location of her hands only serves to remind her of Vanessa’s lack of underwear. 

‘Are you done babbling? Because I know you don’t have any vet training but this frisky heifer needs looking at. So how about you take me home yeah?’


	2. Chapter Two: Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Fear. 
> 
> I have no clue about children so place this whenever Johnny would be at the right age to talk like this :)

The first Vanessa knows anything is amiss is a loud crash followed by a high pitched shriek. She’s half asleep on the couch at the time, in that foggy period where you aren’t awake but aren’t quite asleep either so as a consequence the sudden noise jolts her out of her snoozing and she falls off onto the floor. With a huff she picks herself up then stands in the middle of the living room with her head cocked, listening for more sounds and half wondering if she was actually just dreaming. She doesn’t have to wait long, the unmistakable sound of Charity’s raised voice wafting down the stairs. She sounds distressed so Vanessa races into action, taking the stairs two at a time before crashing into the bathroom door. She stops short of barging it down, knowing with her slight figure she would probably do more damage to herself than the door anyway. She settles for resting her ear against it in an attempt to hear what is going on the other side. 

‘Charity? Charity are you ok?’

She listens for a few seconds but only silence answers her back. Until rather abruptly she’s falling on her face as the door swings open unexpectedly and a half dressed sopping wet Charity Dingle goes flying past her in the opposite direction out into the hallway. Charity doesn’t stop until she’s safely inside Vanessa’s bedroom, clutching the edge of the door and peering around it with a terrified look. Vanessa looks up at her from the floor, the shock of what just happened not quite worn off. 

‘Erm, Charity! Thank you! What the hell is going on?’

Before Charity can reply Johnny comes toddling out of his own room where he had been playing quietly up until this point. He looks at his Mother lying on the floor with a confused look on his face, then notices Charity which causes his frown to deepen even further. 

‘Chatty, you wet. Why you wet?’

Charity seems to have composed herself a little by now having grabbed a towel from the back of the door she begins patting herself down. 

‘Well I’ll tell you little man. I was minding my own business having a nice hot relaxing shower. When who should interrupt me? Only the biggest bloody monster I’ve ever seen .’

‘Charity! Language!’

Johnny giggles at Vanessa as she dives to her feet and makes a show of covering his ears even though the damage has already been done. She shoots a glare at Charity who doesn’t even notice, too busy pulling on a pair of Vanessa’s pyjamas and still rambling. 

‘I mean, the size of that thing. It practically has muscles. How did it even get in the house? Did you let it in the front door? Cause there’s no way that bl-that...monstrosity came in through any cracks in the walls.’

By now it’s obvious to Vanessa what has happened and she tries unsuccessfully to hide a smirk on her face. She’s betrayed by Johnny though, who throws her under the bus without a second thought.

‘Mummy why you laugh? Chatty scared.’

Charity is dry and fully dressed now, her hair is still damp though, causing slight wet patches on the shoulders of the pyjama top. Vanessa’s breath catches in her throat for a moment, as it always does when she finds herself in these not so rare moments where her girlfriend’s beauty stops her in her tracks. 

‘VANESSA. This isn’t a laughing matter. You’re a vet. Will you please go and sort out that horror in there please. It had plonked itself right on top of the shower unit last time I saw it. Practically dragged it off the wall, the size of it.’

Vanessa smirks then wanders into the bathroom. She sees the spider immediately, it’s now halfway up the wall inside the shower cubicle. It’s average sized at best, and she can’t help but chuckle to herself at Charity’s exaggerations. She had no idea her girlfriend was even afraid of spiders. Reaching over, Vanessa cups the creature in her hands without even a second thought. She can hear Charity before she’s even left the bathroom, her voice becoming strained and high pitched once again. 

‘Ness, babe, if you come ANYWHERE near me with that thing we are over. I swear to God.’

There’s a twinkle in Vanessa’s eye and for a moment she does consider chasing Charity with it, but that thought is dismissed as quickly as it entered her head. Instead her attention is taking by Johnny tugging on the hem of her shirt. 

‘Mummy can we keep him?’

The most undignified snort escapes Vanessa before she even realises its happened, at the look of sheer horror on Charity’s face at that comment. And when Johnny reaches up towards her hands, still holding the spider safely out in front her, she’s never seen Charity move so fast in her entire life. She grabs Johnny around the waist and pulls him back into the doorway of her bedroom, shielding him as though a maniacal murderer just tried to attack him. 

‘Christ Johnny, do you have a death wish mate?’

Johnny is bemused by the whole thing, clinging on to the end of Charity’s hair with two chubby fists as he looks up at her adoringly. 

‘Chatty, is just a spider. He can’t hurt you. But I protect you.’

Johnny then wriggles out of Charity’s grasp and plants himself in front of her, hands on hips and chest puffed out like a superhero. Vanessa’s attention is so taken by her adorable son and the look of pure love that Charity is sending his way that without realising she lets her hands relax and as the spider falls to the floor and she scrabbles to recatch it, the only things she can hear is Johnny shouting ‘Bloody monster!’ and Charity screaming like a banshee.


	3. Chapter Three: Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for s0apfan. I hope you like it.

She finds Charity curled up in a ball on the floor of her bedroom between the bed and the radiator. She must have been there a good while because there’s a brew on the bedside table and as Vanessa passes it she runs her fingers across the mug to find it stone cold. It makes her ache deep in her chest to know that Charity has been up here alone like this for any amount of time by herself. Vanessa approaches slowly, but making sure to create enough noise so as to alert her girlfriend to her presence and prevent startling her. When she reaches the bottom of the bed she’s close enough now to see the tear tracks on Charity’s face and it breaks her heart into a million pieces. She doesn’t speak, she just lowers herself to the floor, propping herself up against the radiator close enough to Charity to touch her, but not so close to make her feel suffocated. Slowly she reaches out and takes hold of Charity’s hand in her own, thankful when her gentle squeeze is returned and she feels the other woman’s fingers wrap around her own. They sit like that in silence for at least half an hour, the only movement from either of them being Vanessa’s thumb rubbing slowly back and forth over Charity’s knuckles. 

‘Is this real Ness?’

Vanessa takes a moment to compose herself before replying. She doesn’t trust her voice just now so she buys herself some time by shuffling closer to Charity and easing the other woman’s head onto her lap. Then she slowly starts running her fingers through dirty blonde hair, massaging her scalp lightly with each pass. 

‘It’s real Charity. And it’s over.’

A long troubled sigh escapes Charity as she shuffles impossibly closer to Vanessa, her other hand coming up to wrap itself around Vanessa’s knee. It feels like Charity is clinging to her for dear life, like if she lets go she’s afraid of what might happen. 

‘Ten years?’

Vanessa nods firmly, even though Charity can’t actually see her face right now and squeezes the hand in her own as tight as she can. 

‘Ten years. If he’s lucky and doesn’t get killed in prison before then.’

A sob escapes Charity and Vanessa feels it in her chest as if it was her own. 

‘I don’t want him to die. I want him to suffer. Like he made me suffer for so long.’

Vanessa eases Charity slowly into a sitting position, bringing both hands up to caress her face and wipe away fresh tears that are making their way down her face. 

‘He will. He will.’

Charity lurches forward suddenly and pulls Vanessa into a hug so tight she can barely breathe, but she returns it just as ferociously. She feels Charity pressing small kisses across her neck up towards her ear, breath hot against her skin. 

‘I couldn’t have done this without you Ness. None of it. You’re amazing. And I love you. I love you so much.’

Charity begins sobbing again and this time Vanessa allows herself to cry properly too. All the pain, anger and hurt of the last few months ebbing away as they cling to each other on the bedroom floor. They must have been making more noise than Vanessa thought, because the next thing she sees is Chas in the doorway with a frown on her face. Chas takes one look at them and hovers, as if she’s unsure if she should intervene. Vanessa catches her eye and gives her an almost imperceptible nod in the hopes Charity won’t notice her presence. The two women maintain eye contact, saying more with their silence than could ever be said out loud. Chas gives her a small smile in the end and a nod, backing away as quietly as she arrived. 

‘Charity...let’s move to the bed. My old legs can’t cope with the floor for too much longer.’

Vanessa waits until Charity has calmed down enough to pull back slightly and nod before hauling herself to her feet and gathering the other woman in her arms. She places Charity on the edge of the bed and removes her jacket and shoes before pressing lightly on her shoulders to get her to lie back. Her own jacket is gone in seconds, flung behind her onto the floor carelessly and she wastes no time in joining Charity on the bed. Charity curls up into her body immediately, arms wrapping around her waist and head resting on her shoulder. She wraps one arm around Charity’s back and lets her other hand fall into her girlfriend’s hair, stroking through the curls softly. 

‘What do you need? Tell me anything, I’ll get it for you.’

And she really means that. Vanessa knows that now. She would do anything for Charity. Go to the ends of the Earth for the woman. But she can’t help the smile that creeps it’s way into her face despite all the tears, at the two tiny words Charity mutters into her neck.

‘Only you.’


	4. Chapter Four: Eager

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Eager

‘Do you want to come upstairs and find out?’

Vanessa nods, and the simple gesture sends Charity’s stomach into knots. She’s used to manipulating people and sex never really meaning a great deal. But the fact that Vanessa wants her, and she’s going to be the first woman Vanessa has slept with? That DOES something to Charity and suddenly she’s a little nervous. She needn’t be though, because Vanessa has grabbed her hand and pulled her up off the couch and into the hallway before she even realises what’s happening. Her back hits the wall at the bottom of the stairs with a loud clatter, disturbing the pictures hung up, and Charity briefly wonders if Marlon heard that in the kitchen and will come to investigate. She hopes not. Her brain scrabbles to keep up with the reality of what’s going on and she realises Vanessa has already flung her own gilet onto the floor and is now working on pulling off her jacket too. 

‘Woah babe, slow down. Eager aren’t we?’

‘Shut up Charity.’

Vanessa doesn’t give her a single second to even try and think of a retort to that, pulling her in for another spine tingling kiss that has all coherent thought fleeing her brain. Charity tries to edge them toward climbing the stairs, but quickly realises they aren’t going to be able to make it up them without stopping their kissing for at least a minute. She firmly pushes back on Vanessa’s shoulders to reluctantly break them apart. Vanessa’s hair is ruffled where her hands have tangled up in it during their kiss, and her cheeks are flushed red. She’s breathing heavily and already leaning back in for another kiss but Charity stops her with a single finger to her lips. 

‘I admire your enthusiasm yeah babe? But let’s take this upstairs before we go any further. Don’t want Marlon or Chas seeing this do we?’

Vanessa looks taken aback, like she hadn’t even realised where they were, so engrossed in kissing Charity she had forgotten anybody could have walked in at any moment. She nods then slowly walks backwards up the stairs throwing what she hopes is a sexy look in Charity’s direction. It must be working because Charity is still on the bottom step frozen in place, biting her lip and looking at Vanessa like she wants to ravish her. Vanessa removes her top in a flash, throwing it back down at Charity and moving to the bedroom without a glance back. The top lands on Charity’s head and it spurs her into action, taking the stairs two at a time and racing into her bedroom in pursuit of Vanessa. She barely even gets the door shut before Vanessa is on her again, shoving her unceremoniously back up against it and kissing her like there’s no tomorrow. Charity returns the kiss with equal vigour, because Vanessa is a REALLY good kisser and if she’s honest with herself she’d be happy if all they did was kiss and it didn’t go any further. But Charity files that little nugget of self discovery away to worry over later on. Right now, she uses her superior strength to push Vanessa backwards towards the bed, not stopping until they fall backwards and land on top of it. A tiny squeak of surprise escapes Vanessa as their kiss breaks and Charity uses it as an opportunity to begin kissing a line down the side of Vanessa’s neck. 

‘You sure about this babe?’

Charity has to ask. Even though the answer is obvious. She’s got to be sure. After everything she’s been through in the past. Vanessa gives her a slightly incredulous look before nodding and drawing her back in for another kiss. Charity was expecting to have to be the one to take the lead in this but Vanessa pushes her down into the bed and shoves her hand down the front of her trousers without even an ounce of hesitation. Charity grabs her wrist before fingertips can make contact with anything and she loses all coherent thought. 

‘Vanessa, babe, slow down. You tiny blonde rocket woman.’

Charity kisses her long and slow, eliciting a moan from the other woman before pulling back only far enough to whisper hotly against her lips. 

‘Take my clothes off first.’

Vanessa’s breathing heavily and her eyes are as wide as saucers, her gaze drifting over Charity like she’s trying to take in as much as possible in case this should never happen again. Charity already knows it’s going to happen again though. And she wants Vanessa to savour this, not rush it. 

Thankfully, that seems to stem Vanessa’s urge to rush this and she undresses her with a kind of reverence that Charity expected from someone who’s never done this before. Each item of clothing reveals more skin and Vanessa takes her time exploring before moving onto the next item. By the time she’s completely naked, Charity is ready to burst she’s so turned on. She wants to get Vanessa naked and take the lead but the other woman doesn’t give her the time as she trails a hand down over Charity’s stomach and between her legs, causing her to cry out part in relief and part in pleasure. Vanessa watches her own hand almost in wonder, like she can’t quite believe that it’s her doing this to Charity, making her moan like that. As Charity pulls her in for another kiss, her last coherent thought is that actually, she quite likes Vanessa’s eager enthusiasm.


	5. Chapter Five: Frustration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Frustration

The first time it happens is in the cellar in the Woolpack. They’re both overcome with a mixture of adrenalin and arousal at the way Charity defends her to Veronica and subsequently sends her packing. They don’t even notice Paddy walk in on them until he announces his presence with a cough and a squeaky declaration about punters needing serving. By that time it’s too late though, he’s seen more than his fair share; Vanessa’s mouth in places it definitely shouldn’t be in the company of others. They’re scrabbling to redress and make themselves look presentable and Charity worries Vanessa might be so embarrassed by this it’ll put her off but surprisingly she takes it all in her stride, even going so far as to shove her against the wall for one last dirty kiss before they go back out into the bar to face Rhona and Paddy. Charity’s frustrated because she was well on the way to an orgasm when Paddy decided to interrupt, but she clings to the hope that Vanessa will come back later that night to finish what she just started. 

 

The time in the kitchen and in the vets, Charity doesn’t count those. Mainly because they’ve barely even begun before Paddy walks in, but also because they weren’t really going to go any further. But then he does it again. Charity is on her bed, sitting in Vanessa’s lap with those hands, those hands, doing things to her that completely take her breath away. She can feel the beginnings of her climax sneaking its way through her, and if Vanessa will move her left hand just so, she’ll be there. She’s about to tell her as much when there’s a light tapping on the door and it opens without so much as a warning. 

‘Charity have you got...oh GOD. Sorry. Sorry.’

Charity is scrabbling for the sheet when really she should have been moaning in ecstasy right about now, and Vanessa is equally as frustrated if the profanity escaping her mouth is anything to go by. 

‘Babe, C word? Didn’t know you had it in you.’

She makes sure they’re both fully covered before creeping to the door and opening it only as much as is needed to see Paddy’s beetroot face peeking back at her. 

‘What IS IT Paddy. I’m busy here as you can clearly see.’

Paddy opens and closes his mouth a few times, pointing behind him aimlessly as if Charity should gather what the problem is without any words. She sighs loudly and taps her wrist where a watch would have been if it had been the middle of the day, and she hasn’t just been in bed having mind blowing sex with her girlfriend. 

‘Use your words Paddy. Any time today would be nice.’

‘Toilet roll.’

He nods, as if impressed with himself for being able to articulate the two simple words. 

‘I mean, there is none. And...and Chas said you’d bought some today but I can’t find it and...’

Charity promptly shuts the door and he’s left standing with a confused look on his face, wondering if he should knock again when the door suddenly re-opens and a toilet roll comes flying out hitting him square in the face. The door slams as he bends to retrieve it, muttering a thank you before scarpering back to the bathroom. 

 

The third time happens the very next day and it’s not even in the pub. They’re at Vanessa’s house and Charity has gone over late after closing because apparently now she’s the kind of person who can’t spend a night apart from the woman she loves. She doesn’t dwell on that particular self revelation too much; she’s happy after all so best not to question the changes Vanessa has brought about in herself. Not right this second anyway when she’s horny as hell and Vanessa has been sending her raunchy picture messages all night. The front door’s barely closed and Vanessa’s all over her like a rash, pulling her roughly into the living room and shoving her down onto the couch. 

‘Babe not that I’m complaining but what’s the rush?’

Vanessa doesn’t even stop what she’s doing, mumbling words against Charity’s skin as she’s unbuttoning her shirt. 

‘I’ve been waiting ALL day for you to come over so I can get you off without Paddy bloody Kirk interrupting us.’

Charity chuckles and assists Vanessa in her endeavour of divesting her of all her clothing in record time. She’s down to just her underwear and Vanessa is kissing a hot trail over her stomach when there’s a knock at the door. They lock eyes in apprehension for a moment, a knock at the door after midnight is normally bad news after all, until a familiar voice comes wafting through. 

‘Vanessa? Are you up? I saw the light on. There’s a horse up at Hotten needs rescuing from some barbed wire.’

Charity bangs her head back against the arm of the couch with a huge eye roll and noise of frustration. Vanessa looks furious as she gathers up clothes on her behalf, flinging them at her with such ferocity she has to catch them lest they take her head off. She dresses quickly and nods to Vanessa to open the door as she’s buttoning up her shirt. 

‘PADDY. Are you for real? I’m suspended remember?’

Paddy shifts from foot to foot, until he notices Charity in the background doing up the last of her shirt and then his face goes noticeably red. 

‘Um, I did it again didn’t I.’

Vanessa’s about to respond, all ready with a diplomatic response but Charity beats her to it. 

‘YES Paddy. Yet again you’ve prevented me from getting my rocks off. Get a kick out of this do you?’

Paddy stutters for a minute, looking between the two women who are now glaring daggers at him before eventually holding his finger and thumb up a millimetre apart and squinting at them through the gap. 

‘Er...of course not. But. Slight issue. It’s a two man job...uh...two person job. And Rhona is sick. You won’t do any vet stuff I just need you to pass me things and hold up the arse end.’

Vanessa hears Charity muttering ‘you mean hold up you then’ as she slumps onto the couch behind her and has to stifle a laugh against the back of her hand. Charity hears them discussing a few further details, and with a peck on her cheek Vanessa is gone, leaving her infuriatingly unsatisfied yet again. 

 

The final straw comes a week later. Between work and children Charity hasn’t actually had any alone time with her girlfriend since the night Vanessa had to go help with the stricken horse in the dead of night so she’s still ridiculously turned on. Even the mere thought of Vanessa has her head in a spin, even more so than normal, and she’s resolved that tonight they are going to have some uninterrupted adult alone time if it kills the both of them. Chas has taken Paddy to a hotel for the night, all their various children are with family members and the pub is safely closed and locked up. 

Charity has promised Vanessa a romantic night in but the film has barely been on five minutes and she’s unable to keep it in her pants any longer, climbing into a startled Vanessa’s lap with no warning and initiating a steamy kiss. She practically shoves Vanessa’s hand down the front of her trousers, not that Vanessa is complaining mind. Although she shows at least some resistance, insisting on removing Charity’s shirt and bra first at least. Vanessa has one hand on her breast and the other firmly inside her underwear when Charity hears the door go and when she opens her eyes the first thing she sees is Paddy staring back at her open mouthed. 

‘No. No no no no NO. WHY are you here Paddy?’

‘I...’

‘Actually stop. I don’t care why you’re here. But I do care that you’re leaving. Now. And I swear to God that if you...’

Charity feels Vanessa’s hands start to move and she grabs them quickly, her attention momentarily moving to her girlfriend. 

‘Ness babe this will only take a second, you move either of your hands one more inch and I will not let you touch me again for a week.’

Vanessa’s hands dutifully stay put, though she doesn’t dare look anywhere other than directly at them. Making eye contact with Paddy right now wouldn’t be a good idea she thinks. 

‘Anyway, I swear to God Paddy that if you even think about entering this premises until the morning I will have a variety of painful deaths to inflict on you. Right?’

Thankfully Paddy is behind the couch and the lights are down, so Charity is pretty sure all he can see is the back of Vanessa’s head and her bare shoulders. 

‘Charity the hotel...’

‘Paddy. Say one more word and I’ll tell you in great detail exactly where Vanessa’s hands currently reside. You have been cock blocking me for weeks now. Or whatever the female version is. Now leave. Now. Please.’

Paddy looks like he wants to say more, but his survival instinct seems to win over and he backs out of the door silently with a nod. Once Charity hears the click of the lock she wastes no time kissing away the questioning look on Vanessa’s face. 

‘Now you, I believe you were in the middle of something?’


	6. Six: Suspicious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Suspicious

‘Ness, what the bloody hell are you doing?’

Rhona is walking through the village to get some milk from the shop when she spots Vanessa, crouched down behind a bush and peering over the top of it like some badly trained spy. As soon as she hears Rhona she’s shushing her and gesticulating madly for her to join her behind the bush. 

‘Quiet! She’ll hear us! Get over here NOW Rhona or move on.’

Rhona doesn’t move, staring at Vanessa with a mixture of apprehension and concern. So Vanessa grabs her by the sleeve and drags her back further away from the road. Once they’re safely out of view of the road Rhona manages to break free of Vanessa’s grip only because she is too busy looking around to check if anybody saw them. 

‘Vanessa have you gone mad? What’s going on you pillock?’

Vanessa’s all wide eyed and jittery as she grabs Rhona by both arms, shuffling her back towards the bush and practically man handling her into a kneeling position. 

‘It’s Charity.’

Rhona waits to see if more information is forthcoming but apparently no, that’s all she’s getting, so reluctantly she peers over towards the pub to see Charity seemingly taking in a delivery. 

‘Just why are we spying on your girlfriend Ness? She’s just working.’

The sudden grip of Vanessa’s hand on her arm causes Rhona to wince and Vanessa at least has the good grace to look apologetic. 

‘Oh no. That’s what she wants you to think. The last thing she’s doing is working.’

Rhona‘s still none the wiser, so with a sigh she moves to leave and this time Vanessa doesn’t even notice, too busy is she peering over at Charity who is know clearing some glasses away from the outside tables. Rhona shakes her head, mystified, and walks away without another word. 

 

It’s later on that same day when Rhona finds Vanessa again, this time she’s practically hanging out her front door gawping up the street. It’s of no surprise whatsoever when she turns to see Vanessa’s line of sight goes directly to Charity who is standing outside the pub talking with a woman she’s never seen before. 

‘Ness. If you don’t tell me what’s going on I’m going to assume you’ve completely taken leave of your senses.’

Vanessa doesn’t answer so Rhona looks back over to Charity to see her laughing with this mystery woman, trying to piece together what might be happening herself. Suddenly a horrifying thought enters her head and her stomach drops. 

‘You don’t think...is she cheating on you?’

Finally Vanessa takes her attention away from Charity to stare at Rhona like she’s grown a second head. 

‘What? NO. Why would you think that Rhona?’

With a huge sigh Rhona grabs Vanessa’s hand and drags her inside her own house. She waits until the door is shut and they’re stood in the kitchen before slamming her bag down on the table. 

‘Why else would you be sneaking around after your own girlfriend Ness? Tell me what’s going on, or shall I go and ask Charity?’

The look that particular comment causes on Vanessa’s face is almost comical, and Rhona has to bite her lip to stop the smirk making its way onto her face. 

‘You bloody well won’t!’ Vanessa sends Rhona a withering look before caving, rolling her eyes and taking a seat before motioning for Rhona to do the same. 

‘Ok, I don’t think Charity is cheating. I know she would never do that. But she is hiding something from me. And she won’t tell me what it is. But for a month now she’s been sneaking around, keeping her phone on her at all times. It’s driving me crazy Rhona.’

Rhona doesn’t quite know what to say. But it turns out she doesn’t need to, because the way Vanessa’s eyes light up it appears she’s come up with a solution of her own. And Rhona knows she’s not going to like it. 

‘That’s IT.’ Vanessa clicks her fingers in the air and points at Rhona accusingly. ‘You can follow her! See where she goes with that woman!’

Rhona sighs and grabs hold of Vanessa’s finger which is still pointing at her, manoeuvring their hands down onto the table. 

‘Ness, why don’t you just talk to her.’

‘That’s EXACTLY what she wants.’ Vanessa’s agitation increases again and she stands. ‘No, no. I need to be clever. You’re going to go follow them and see what she’s up to.’

Rhona levels what she hopes is a firm glare at Vanessa, but the puppy dog eyes come out and she ends up caving in a matter of seconds. 

‘Okay FINE. But how am I supposed to find them?’

Vanessa grins wide and takes her seat again, pouring a glass of wine for each of them as she leans forward conspiratorially. 

‘I know where they’re going to be tonight.’

 

Vanessa’s sitting in the Woolpack nursing a pint and checking her phone every few seconds for an update from Rhona when the door bangs open and in walks Charity with an unreadable expression on her face. Vanessa can’t help the smile that spreads across her face at the sight of her  
girlfriend, but it fades quickly when Rhona comes trudging in behind her sheepishly. 

‘Hi babe, I thought you had a brewery thing tonight?’

Vanessa decides playing dumb for now might be best, as Charity plonks herself down across from her. Rhona lingers in the doorway looking for all the world like a horse ready to bolt. 

‘Don’t you babe me, Vanessa. Why was Rhona spying on me?’ At the mention of her name Rhona makes a slight movement back towards the exit but Charity holds up a hand and clicks her fingers. ‘I don’t think so flower. Take a seat.’

Vanessa takes a large gulp of her pint while she frantically tries to come up with a decent explanation that won’t have Charity dumping her like a broken umbrella on a windy day. 

‘H-how did you know?’ 

Charity glares at Rhona but when her gaze shifts across and their eyes meet, Vanessa heaves an internal sigh of relief. Charity’s not really mad. She’s just putting it on. She knows she’s still in trouble, but not ‘I went behind your back to the police’ kind of trouble. 

‘Come on Ness, not exactly James Bond is she. Bout as subtle as an elephant this one.’

‘Hey!’

One glare from Charity in Rhona’s direction has her begrudgingly agreeing and taking a long sip of the pint Marlon has put in front of her. Charity crosses her arms and leans back in the seat, staring at Vanessa expectantly. 

‘You were up to something. I wanted to know what. I was...worried.’

Charity scoffs so loudly both Vanessa and Rhona jump slightly in their seats. 

‘Come off it babe. You weren’t worried. You were just being nosy weren’t you?’

Vanessa grumbles under her breath before making a noise of frustration and sliding her pint into the middle of the table. 

‘Alright yeah I wanted to know alright? And I knew from the way you were acting you wouldn’t tell me. I mean, who the bloody hell is that woman you’ve been meeting?’

Rhona looks between the two women as they engage in a staring contest, wondering who’s going to cave first. She reaches for her bag and shifts awkwardly on her seat. 

‘Maybe I should g-‘

‘No! Stay there Rhona. You might as well hear this too.’

That grabs Vanessa’s attention and she leans forward in her seat eagerly anticipating the forthcoming explanation. 

‘Well it was going to be a surprise, but I suppose there’s no chance of that now is there. What with you and Sherlock Holmes here sticking your beaks into my business. Can a woman have no secrets?’

Vanessa feels slightly guilty now, but she pushes that feeling down. Her curiosity about what Charity is about to reveal wins over. She’ll make it up to her girlfriend later on tonight if needed. 

‘Alright alright.’ Charity sighs and engages in the biggest eye roll Vanessa has ever seen. ‘That woman is from your...’ she lurches a hand out in Vanessa’s general direction, almost knocking her pint off the table. ‘...Royal College of Very Scary Bosses place. Or whatever it’s called.’

Vanessa knows that Charity knows the correct name and is only being obtuse in order to downplay the seriousness of what she’s going to say. But just WHAT she’s going to say completely eludes Vanessa at this moment in time. There’s a sudden nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach at the mention of the RCVS though and she urges Charity to continue. Out the corner of her eye she can see Rhona is suitably intrigued too. 

‘Well I got sick of you moping around everytime one of these pair had to go see to a damn cow or something didn’t I.’ Another sweeping gesture, and this time Vanessa brings her pint closer to her side of the table so it doesn’t end up all over Rhona next time. ‘So, I forced Paddy to make nice with Martin. And he had a word with the scary boss lady you’ve seen me knocking around with. And she’s shortened your suspension by three months hasn’t she. So you can go back to being super hero vet next week.’

Charity shrugs like what she’s just said is nothing. Like she hasn’t just turned Vanessa’s entire world completely upside down. She fiddles with a beer mat, glancing across at Vanessa every few seconds. The longer the silence goes on the more nervous Charity seems to get. 

‘Look babe, I’m sorry if you didn’t want me meddling but I-‘

‘You did that for me?’

Charity shrugs again. Vanessa can tell she understands the importance of this, but it’s not in Charity’s nature to overplay her actions that are for the benefit of others, especially in company. 

‘Charity, I...I...’

Vanessa abandons the idea of trying to say anything and launches herself across the table, engaging Charity in a fierce kiss. Dimly in the back of her mind she hears Rhona shriek as her pint gets knocked over and half soaks the other woman but Vanessa doesn’t care. At least she doesn’t care until she’s getting dragged back into her seat by the hood of her jacket to find Rhona glaring at her angrily. 

‘Yes, thanks for that Ness. I assume it’s safe for me to go now?’

Neither woman pays any attention to Rhona, too busy gazing into each other’s eyes, so with a huff Rhona grabs her bag and makes a swift exit. But not before leaning down close to Charity. 

‘You’re a pleasant surprise Charity Dingle. Keep it up.’

Rhona isn’t even out the door of the pub before Vanessa has dragged them both out the back and into the living room. She pushes Charity down onto the couch and straddles her, wrapping arms around her neck and resting their foreheads together. It’s her favourite position to be in, to talk, because it feels like she can see right into Charity’s soul sometimes, and it prevents the other woman from fleeing if the conversation gets too deep. 

‘I can’t believe you did this Charity. Thank you doesn’t even seem enough.’

Charity allows a small smile and kisses Vanessa softly, hands caressing her waist. 

‘I love you Vanessa.’

It’s all the explanation Vanessa needs and so she surges forward for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea about the RCVS so if what happens here couldn’t actually happen, sue me :)


	7. Chapter 7: Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An anon reviewer asked for Hurt again. Ask and ye shall receive.

Charity arrives home to the sound of Paw Patrol on the TV and immediately sees Moses and Johnny sitting together on the couch, attention solely on the cartoon. There’s no sign of Vanessa though, so she leans over the back of the couch and places a kiss on each of the boys’ heads. 

‘Where’s your mother Johnnybobs?’

The boys share a look, as if they have some sort of secret, before dissolving into fits of giggles. Charity fixes them with what she hopes is a stern glare, looking to Johnny for an explanation because she knows he’s the more responsible of the terrible twosome. 

‘Mummy went upstairs. She said a bad word!’ Charity must look suitably confused because Moses then helpfully chimes in. ‘Bitch!’

Charity wants to reprimand him but it’s hard not to laugh at the way he shouts it with a grin on his face. She makes sure they both have a drink and a snack and with a promise not to repeat the word she leaves them to Paw Patrol and makes her way upstairs. 

She sees their bedroom door open and can already see Vanessa’s feet on the bed before she even enters the room. 

‘Babe I just had a very interesting chat with the boys about your use of-‘ Charity comes to a standstill as soon as she’s inside the room and she can actually see Vanessa. ‘-babe what’s wrong? What’s happened?’

Vanessa is laid out on the bed staring at the ceiling, tears flowing freely. She’s making no attempt to wipe them away and it breaks Charity’s heart to see her like this. In a second she’s crossed the room, sitting on the edge of the bed and leaning over Vanessa to catch her eye. 

‘It’s nothing. It’s stupid.’

Vanessa sits up and tries to wipe her cheeks but Charity catches her hand, interlinking their fingers and then using her free hand to gently wipe away Vanessa’s tears with her thumb. 

‘You daft mare. If it’s got you like this it’s not nothing is it. Spit it out. Who’s a bitch?’

Vanessa tries to laugh but it comes out more of a hiccup. She squeezes Charity’s hand then moves closer so she can lay her head on the other woman’s shoulder. This has been a feature of their relationship. When Vanessa is upset she likes to wrap herself around Charity as much as possible when she’s talking about it. Charity certainly doesn’t mind, in fact she pulls her in even closer. 

‘Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that in front of the boys.’

‘Doesn’t matter.’ Charity murmurs against Vanessa’s temple, placing a soft kiss there. ‘Talk to me Ness.’

Vanessa takes a deep breath, then disentangles her fingers from Charity’s so she can wrap her arms around her girlfriend’s waist. 

‘It’s my mother. She said she’s not going to come to the wedding.’

Charity is rubbing one hand up and down Vanessa’s back but it stops briefly then. She can feel the anger rising inside her at Vanessa’s words. They’ve been together nearly a year now, engaged for three months and in that time she’s only met Vanessa’s mother once. It didn’t go well. To be honest Charity was expecting this, but she hadn’t wanted to dampen Vanessa’s hope that her mum would have a change of heart about accepting their relationship and agree to come to the wedding. 

‘Babe...if she can’t accept you’re happy, she’s not worth getting upset over right? You are happy...right?’

Charity has to ask. They’re getting married and Vanessa has never once given her any reason to doubt the voracity of her feelings but there’s always that niggling feeling at the back of Charity’s mind that all this is a dream and one day she’ll have it all taken from her. 

‘Of course I am you pratt.’ A kiss to Charity’s neck. Then a sniffle. ‘I really thought she would come though.’

Charity manoeuvres the pair of them so they’re lying on the bed face to face. She wraps one arm tightly around Vanessa’s waist and uses her free hand to poke Vanessa on the nose with her finger. 

‘Babe, this is our day not hers. Not anybody else’s. I agreed to marry you because I want to stand up in church in a fancy dress and declare myself yours for all eternity. And as you know I’m not big on declarations so you should make the most of this opportunity while it’s available.’

Vanessa smirks at this and shuffles closer to Charity. 

‘Go on.’

‘Ness I wouldn’t care if nobody else turned up. I’m marrying you on that day wether you like it or not. Then you’re stuck with me aren’t you. And if your mother can’t get her head around the fact I’m hopelessly in love with you, well then...she can trot on.’

That causes Vanessa to giggle and she snuggles impossibly closer to Charity and kisses her softly. 

‘How do you always know what to say to make me feel better?’

‘It’s a gift innit.’ Charity initiates another kiss. ‘And not one I plan on losing any time soon. So get your arse down them stairs and explain to the boys why they can’t say bitch at nursery tomorrow.’


	8. Chapter Eight: Embarrassment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Embarrassment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Trace

Charity huffs as she tries to position her phone at the perfect angle. She can hear Chas downstairs shouting her name, which is doing nothing to hurry her along. In fact if anything it’s only prolonging the process. She’s been trying to send a dirty picture to Vanessa but she’s tried about ten different angles and none of them look right. Finally she finds one that she thinks will do and she checks it, nods satisfactorily at her work and sends it off to Vanessa hastily before scrabbling to put her shirt back on just as Chas clatters ungracefully into her bedroom.

 

‘Charity! You are aware that being at work requires you to actually be present in the bar, not just the building?’

 

Charity rolls her eyes and pats Chas on the shoulder as she slopes past her.

 

‘Yes yes. Don’t get your knickers in a twist. Even I’m entitled to a break you know.’

 

Chas follows her closely, hands on shoulders as she guides her downstairs and back through into the bar.

 

‘Sexting Vanessa isn’t classed as a break. Now go. Serve.’

 

They’re by the cellar door and Charity is pleasantly surprised to see Vanessa lingering at the end of the bar when she hears a shriek from behind her. She turns just in time to see Chas’ phone go skittering across the floor, Chas herself covering her face with her hands.

 

‘My eyes! My eyes!’

 

At the same time she hears Vanessa shout her name from out in the pub in that stern tone she saves that lets Charity know she’s in for a telling off. Thoroughly confused, she stoops down and retrieves Chas’ phone only to see herself staring back at her, the picture she had taken only moments ago and sent to Vanessa.

 

‘Wait. Chas? How have you got...’

 

She feels a sharp poke in her arm and glances sideways to see Vanessa stood next to her with what can only be described as a look of pure exasperation on her face.

 

‘Er, Charity. You only went and sent that picture to the group chat you know. Faith’s having a field day. And look. You’ve broken Chas.’

 

Chas is stood half bent over, looking a bit grey and staring evils at Charity.

 

‘That’s the last thing I wanted to see at 10am thank you. Can you not work a phone properly?’

 

Charity rolls her eyes and leaves Chas to go out into the bar only to find Faith and Belle there giggling away.

 

‘No prizes for guessing what you two are tittering on about. Grow up yeah. OW babe, seriously?’

 

‘Charity!’ Vanessa pokes her in the arm again. ‘This is so embarrassing.’

 

‘Oh babe calm down.’ Charity rolls her eyes and slips an arm around Vanessa’s waist. ‘They’re only tits yeah? Not like none of them haven’t ever seen them before.’

 

With a confused look Vanessa pushes Charity’s arm off her and stomps off with a grumble about needing to get to work. Charity catches Chas still glaring at her, so rolls her eyes and throws a beer mat at her.

 

‘Get over it Chas. You’re just jealous yours don’t still look this great.’

 

 

 

It’s two days later and Charity is sick in bed. She’s lying there aching and sniffling, sulking because Vanessa had left an hour ago for work and she needs somebody to look after her. With Vanessa’s words of ‘feed a cold’ ringing in her ears she manages to drag herself downstairs to make some toast. She’s all the way into the kitchen before she even notices the bag on the table with a hand written note wedged underneath it. Poking her head into the bag she finds painkillers, vaporub (she’s already thinking about how to convince Vanessa to apply that later) and an assortment of her favourite foods. She grabs the note and immediately notices Vanessa’s neat handwriting, her heart aching at the kindness of her girlfriend. Grabbing her phone, she immediately fires off a message to the other woman.

 

_Found the bag of goodies. Love you so much babe_.

 

She even adds a love heart emoji for effect, grumbling out loud to herself but knowing that Vanessa loves it. She’s just pressing send when she notices with horror the recipient at the top of the screen and her stomach drops.

‘No no no NO. Not again. NOAH. NOAH GET DOWN HERE NOW.’

 

Noah’s in the room in seconds, a slight panicked expression on his face.

 

‘I didn’t do it Mum. It was Sarah.’

 

‘What?’ Charity looks confused before dismissing his comment away for future interrogation. ‘Never mind that. How do I stop the girls seeing a message I’ve sent on this damn group chat. Tell me it’s possible.’

 

Noah visibly sighs in relief before grabbing the phone Charity is waving in front of him. He smirks when he sees the message Charity wants to delete.

 

‘Didn’t know you were capable of human emotions.’

 

Charity playfully clips him around the ear before tapping the screen with her finger.

 

‘Yes yes less of the cheek. Now can you delete that or do I have to confiscate your Xbox for a week?’

 

Noah frowns and taps away at the phone a couple of times.

 

‘Yeah it should be fine as long as nobody...oh. Oops.’

 

‘Oops? Oops what babe?’ Charity’s eyes go wide in panic. They widen even further when Noah simply shrugs and hands her back the phone.

 

‘Chas already read it. Can’t delete it now. Too late.’

 

Charity stares at the phone in her hand as Noah wanders into the kitchen and starts making breakfast. She hears the living room door open again and there stands Chas, shit eating grin on her face.

 

‘Well well well. Charity Dingle in love. Who ever thought we’d see the day.’

 

Charity can feel the blush rising in her cheeks which only serves to heighten her embarrassment. She waves her hand in Chas’s direction, failing miserably at an attempt at nonchalance.

 

‘You know me babe. Just trying to keep Vanessa happy.’

Chas isn’t fooled, taking a seat on the couch and propping her feet up on the coffee table whilst pointing an accusatory finger at Charity and her ever reddening face.

 

‘No. No Charity. You _love_ her. You even used an _emoji_.’

 

Chas emits what can only be described as a cackle, which doubles in volume when Vanessa lets herself in through the pub.

 

‘Only me. It’s a quiet morning so I told Paddy I’d come and check-‘ Vanessa’s eyes flit between Chas doubled over in laughter on the couch and Charity stood behind her looking as red as a tomato and for all the world like she wants the ground to swallow her up. ‘-what’s going on ‘ere? Why aren’t you still in bed?’

 

Chas barely manages to get out an entire sentence telling Vanessa to check her phone, but she manages to get the basic gist across and as Vanessa swipes across to unlock the screen and reads, a huge grin appears on her face, causing Charity to sigh loudly.

 

‘Oh not you an all. Look I can be nice yeah. It’s not _completely_ unheard of.’

 

Vanessa moves over to Charity, pocketing her phone again before leaning up to press a kiss to her cheek.

 

‘You big softie. I love you too. Emojis and all.’

 

Chas had quietened down on the couch but that comment starts her up again and even Noah in the kitchen can be heard laughing to himself. Vanessa can’t help but join in with them on seeing her girlfriend’s face. Charity throws her arms up in the air and stomps out the room, making sure to grab the painkillers on the way out.

 

‘Right. Well then. I’ll be a bitch in future shall I? I’m going back to bed. Vanessa if you bring that vaporub up with you I’ll let you apply it.’

 

As quick as that Vanessa has stopped laughing, practically tripping over her own feet to grab at the small tub on the kitchen table, sending Chas into raucous laughter all over again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Chapter Nine: Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Paola_enigma

Vanessa comes flying through the door of The Woolpack at break neck speed, crashing into the bar and leaning over it slightly out of breath. Chas gives her the once over with a puzzled expression on her face. A quiet night is an understatement, she’s had no customers in over an hour so this might at least provide some entertainment.

 

‘Have you seen Charity?’

 

Vanessa’s moving behind the bar before the sentence is even out of her mouth.

 

‘Well hello to you too Vanessa.’ 

 

Chas puts her hands on her hips and tries to look cross, but she’s well used to Vanessa in this state. Usually it means Charity is in some kind of trouble, so naturally she’s dealt with this a number of times. Vanessa stops herself and has the good grace to look apologetic. She slumps against the end of the bar, resting her head on her hands.

 

‘Sorry. It’s just we were meant to meet in Hotten for dinner and she never showed. And now she’s not answering her phone.’

 

Chas frowns then. She watched Charity walk out the door two hours ago harping on about going to meet Vanessa in some sexy new dress she had bought, shouting over her shoulder for Chas to wear ear plugs tonight. At the time she had been disgusted but now she’s a little confused.

 

‘She left here ages ago. She’s not been in touch?’

 

Chas regrets saying that immediately because now Vanessa looks extremely concerned, so she sidles over to her and places a hand on her arm.

 

‘Don’t worry love. I’m sure something just came up with Noah or Moses. You know what the signal’s like up at Ross or Joe’s.’

 

Vanessa nods, seemingly placated for now. Chas places a glass of wine in front of her, waving away the fiver she produces.

 

‘Perks of putting up with my cousin. Free drinks remember?’ Vanessa laughs and Chas feels the nagging in her chest ease a little. ‘You look lovely by the way. Charity will be gutted she’s missing out.’

 

Vanessa blushes and looks down at herself. The only instructions she had received from Charity when asked to meet for dinner had been ‘wear your sexiest outfit’ and she has duly obliged. She’s wearing a tight black dress that she knows Charity can’t resist her in. She knows this because the last time she wore it, Charity had ended up fucking her in a dark alley behind some gay club, unable to wait until they had gotten home. Putting that thought out of her mind, she takes a sip of her wine then with a sudden change of heart quickly puts it back down.

 

‘I can’t drink this. I should drive out to Ross or Joe’s and check there.’

 

She’s already half way round the bar when the sound of Chas clearing her throat stops her in her tracks. She turns to see the other woman waving her phone in the air.

 

‘Or, we could, you know, chill out and phone their landline?’

 

Vanessa blushes again and nods her head, retaking her seat at the end of the bar. She watches with rapt attention as Chas calls first Ross then Joe, the conversations not taking long. By the time Chas hangs up on Joe, Vanessa has a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach and she can’t stop her hands from shaking.

 

‘Chas. Where is she.’

 

Vanessa’s voice wobbles and Chas wants to comfort her but at this point she doesn’t really know what to say. She settles for putting an arm around the other woman, but the contact only serves to pull a loud sob out of Vanessa.

 

‘Hey hey. Come on now. I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation. And by the time you’re in bed tonight you’ll be chewing her ear off for ever making you worry.’

 

Vanessa sniffs and shakes her head vehemently, looking Chas in the eye.

 

‘No. I can feel it. Something’s wrong. We should call the hospital.’

 

Chas bites her lip as she debates that particular idea. It’s not a bad idea really, the worst they can say is she’s not there. However part of her still expects Charity to come strolling in any second, all arrogance and confidence like always. Finally she nods and grabs Vanessa’s phone out of her hand before she can dial.

 

‘Fine OK. But I’ll do it. Last thing we need is them hanging up on you ‘cos you got your knickers all in a twist.’

 

Vanessa huffs and puffs but begrudgingly agrees with Chas, staring at her intently as she dials. She strains her ears trying to hear the other side of the conversation but her phone isn’t turned up loud enough. It doesn’t take long for all the colour to drain from Chas’ face though, and Vanessa feels absolutely sick to her stomach as Chas ends the call and drops her phone onto the bar.

 

‘Vanessa, now stay calm-‘ Vanessa completely ignores that comment, lurching forward off the chair and grabbing Chas’ arms.

 

‘Or not...Alright, there’s been an accident. I don’t have any more information. But we need to go to the hospital.’

 

Vanessa turns white as a sheet and immediately begins pacing back and forth at the end of the bar. She grabs her bag suddenly, throwing her phone and scarf into it, even a beer mat and empty pint glass too. Chas grabs her wrist and squeezes gently.

 

‘Vanessa. You’re panicking.’

 

Vanessa looks up wide eyed and nods frantically.

 

‘Too bloody right I am. We need to get there now.’

 

‘And you’ll need a pint glass and beer mat there for what exactly?’

 

Vanessa stares at Chas, then down onto her bag, surprise etched on her features like she doesn’t even realise she’s put them in there in the first place. She tries to reach in and take them out but her hand is shaking too much and another sob escapes her lips. Chas takes two huge steps and is by her side in a second, embracing her tightly and kissing the top of her head.

 

‘I’m sure she’s fine. Let’s get down there eh? And you can tell her off for worrying us.’

 

 

 

They’ve made it to the hospital in record time, Chas insisting she drive because she doesn’t want to die on the way there. Their journey isn’t helped when they get stuck behind a tractor and Vanessa promptly winds down her window and screams obscenities at the driver. Chas overtakes and thanks God silently that it’s nobody they know. When they get into the hospital Vanessa practically throws herself at the admin desk, startling the nurse sat behind it.

 

‘Charity Dingle. Where is she? Is she ok?’

 

Chas can already tell the nurse isn’t going to be amenable to Vanessa’s current state so she coaxes her over to the chairs and forcefully pushes her down into one of them.

 

‘Stay here.’

 

Chas turns back and starts asking the nurse about Charity’s location, but the nurse’s attention isn’t on her at all, it’s about ten inches to her left. She twists her head around and sees Vanessa is trying to get through the double doors into the treatment rooms. With a sigh Chas grabs Vanessa and man handles over back over to the desk.

 

‘Please for the love of God. Can you tell us where to find Charity Dingle. Before this one implodes.’

 

The nurse sighs and narrows her eyes. For a minute Chas thinks she might actually refuse but she mutters the name of the ward Charity is being held on and Vanessa is already setting off before Chas can even register it.

 

They’re in the lift in record time. Chas thinks Vanessa would have actually gone up without her if she had been any further behind she’s being that impatient. But she can hardly blame her she supposes. She’s worried too, so Vanessa must be out of her mind. The ding of the lift signals their arrival to Charity’s ward and with a speed of reflex Chas thought she had long left behind in her advancing years, she grabs Vanessa’s arm to prevent her from flying off without her again.

 

‘Right listen here. We don’t know what we are going to find. So just remember, she’s a fighter. And she’ll be OK. OK?’

 

Vanessa’s lip wobbles and Chas can tell she’s not going to be able to come out with anything coherent so she just wraps her in a fierce hug, grabs her hand and drags her out onto the ward. Now they’re within touching distance of Charity, Vanessa’s panicky antics have disappeared and she’s just a shaking wreck trying to hold back tears. Chas tries to pay attention as the nurse throws phrases at her like ‘broken collar bone’ and ‘bruised ribs’ and ‘mild concussion’ but all she really hears is ‘no immediate danger’ before the relief leaves her in a giant sigh and she pulls Vanessa into another hug.

 

The nurse allows them the time they both need to compose themselves before offering to take them to Charity. Chas feels Vanessa grasp her hand tightly and they nod before following to the corner of the ward. They see Charity before she sees them. She’s hooked up to a number of machines, one arm in a sling and a bandage around her forehead. But she’s awake. Vanessa’s hand is shaking in her own but Chas refuses to let it go, squeezing it as tight as she can. They come to a stop at the bottom of the bed and stare at Charity, both too scared to try and talk.

 

Charity must sense their presence because she turns her head from staring out the window to look at them both and the relief in her eyes is obvious. Vanessa reaches out a hand but stops an inch above the blanket covering Charity’s legs.

 

‘You can touch her. She won’t break.’ The nurse beside them murmurs. ‘Bloody awful patient this one.’

 

That’s all it takes and Vanessa is scrambling down the side of the bed, hands coming up to Charity’s cheeks as she presses their foreheads together and the tears come. Chas watches from the end of the bed, allowing herself to finally relax and staying silent to allow the two lovers their moment. She looks away as they share a tender kiss and exchange declarations of love, until finally Vanessa manages to compose herself and Chas feels comfortable joining them at the other side of the bed. There’s a moment of silence while all three women regain their conspire and the nurse asks to check Charity’s vitals. As she’s fiddling with the blood pressure monitor, Charity pipes up in a croaky voice.

 

‘Wouldn’t put that on whilst my girlfriend’s stood ‘ere wearing that dress love. Liable to overload that thing.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry guys. No lesbians die on my watch :)


	10. Chapter Ten: Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Anger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by Fricks

‘Don’t. Fucking. Touch. Me.’

 

Charity’s hand is half way across the gap between them when Vanessa speaks, and she leaves it hanging there as if unsure what to do with it now permission to comfort her girlfriend has been refused. She tries to catch Vanessa’s eye but the other woman is steadfastly looking towards the floor, so she takes a step back and lets her hand drop limply at her side.

 

‘Vanessa, I-‘

 

‘NO. Don’t talk either.’

 

Vanessa moves to the couch, slumping down onto it and resting her head in her hands. A sob escapes her and it rips right through Charity’s heart. Hurting Vanessa is the last thing Charity ever wants to do. She’d rather hurt herself. She can’t believe she’s even allowed herself to end up in this situation. She silently berates herself for being so stupid and cautiously moves to sit on the couch too, albeit a safe distance away from Vanessa. Her heart skips a little when Vanessa at least stays put, rather than fleeing. Another sob escapes her though, and Charity can feel her own tears threatening to fall at the sight of her girlfriend.

 

‘Vanessa...’ Charity tries again, emboldened by a lack of immediate rebuff she vows to plow on. ‘I’m not going to apologise. You know I’m not big on them and it won’t change what I’ve done. It won’t make you feel better.’

 

Vanessa scoffs and shuffles. Charity tenses up, wondering if she’s pushed too far and Vanessa is about to walk away but instead she settles again so Charity breathes a sigh of relief and continues.

 

‘An...an apology from me wouldn’t sound sincere. And I want to be sincere Vanessa. So instead...instead of apologising I’ll make it up to you.’ Her voice lowers to a whisper, her own tears now falling. ‘If you’ll let me.’

 

Vanessa is openly sobbing now, and Charity chances it by extending a hand but chickens out at the last second and rests it on the cushions between them instead. Vanessa’s crying is the only sound in the room and her inability to be able to comfort her is killing Charity. She edges her hand slowly across the couch until her fingertips are within touching distance of Vanessa, allowing them to brush against her thigh. It’s completely the wrong move though, as the contact causes Vanessa to spring up off the couch and to the other side of the room where she starts pacing back and forth.

 

‘You can’t just act all sorry and comfort me and this will all go away Charity. I think...I think you should go.’

 

Vanessa’s voice breaks at the end of the sentence and so does Charity’s heart along with it. She stands and tries to approach Vanessa but the other woman takes a step back and refuses to make eye contact. With one look behind her Charity leaves through the front door without another word.

 

 

 

 

It’s just gone midnight and Charity is wallowing in the living room out the back of the pub. After leaving Vanessa’s earlier she had grabbed two bottles of wine and ignored Chas’ attempts at talking to her and has been sat here ever since. Her vision is starting to get a bit wobbly, as are her legs when she tries to stand to answer the incessant knocking at the door. She’s barely got it open when Vanessa barges in, clearly furious and still upset.

 

‘I want an apology.’

 

Charity can only look at her, the alcohol in her system and a good few hours of self pitying having blunted her senses.

 

‘You don’t get to say you’re bad at apologies and leave it at that. I want one. And an explanation.’

 

Charity walks past her silently and retakes her seat on the couch. She looks up with watery eyes and sees Vanessa stood not three feet away from her practically tapping her foot she looks so impatient.

 

‘I don’t have an explanation Ness. There’s no excuse. But I am so, so sorry.’

 

Charity stands and reaches out, putting her hands on Vanessa’s elbows. It’s clearly too soon though. Vanessa shrugs out of her grip and pushes away. Charity is drunk enough that the contact makes her fall backwards onto the couch with a gasp. Vanessa’s eyes widen briefly in concern before the flash of anger is back.

 

‘So you just expect me to forgive you? You expect Johnny and Moses to forgive you?’

 

A sob escapes through Charity’s lips and she covers her face with her hands as she shakes her head. Vanessa watches her cry for a couple of minutes before eventually slumping down next to her and adopting a similar position. Charity eventually composes herself enough to glance sideways at Vanessa, taking a shuddering breath and wringing her hands.

 

‘Have I broken us?’

 

Charity’s scared stiff of hearing the answer to that question but she has to ask it. She watches Vanessa like a hawk for any indication of a response either verbally or through her body language but there’s nothing at all. Just anger and tiredness. Vanessa’s still crying and Charity can’t take it anymore. She tries to wrap her arms around the other woman who immediately starts to struggle and move away. Charity doesn’t let her though, tightening her grip and pulling her as close as she can. Vanessa balls her hands into fists and pounds them against Charity’s shoulders. It hurts, but Charity doesn’t try and stop her. She deserves it after all.

 

‘I hate you right now. I hate you.’ Vanessa sobs and the punches begin to lose their strength. ‘But I fucking love you.’

 

Vanessa’s hands finally stop and instead they curl around the lapels of Charity’s blazer as she buries her head in the crook of her neck and sobs.

 

‘I know.’ Charity whispers. ‘I know.’

 

 

 

 


	11. Chapter Eleven: Irritation.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Irritation. 
> 
> This is a companion piece to the previous chapter, Anger. It’s set before it, a prequel if you will. Hopefully it answers the questions a few of you had about that chapter!

‘Oh for crying out loud...CHARITY! Charity get down here please!’

 

Charity lazily wanders into the kitchen to see Vanessa stood in the middle of it with her hands on her hips.

 

‘You.’ Vanessa’s eyes narrow and she points accusingly at Charity. ‘Tell me Charity. Why would you use the last of the milk and put the EMPTY carton back in the fridge?’

 

Charity rolls her eyes and makes a show of grabbing the offending carton off the kitchen table and throwing it into the recycling basket. It skittles around the edge, toying with the idea of falling out before finally settling on top of an old newspaper. Charity performs a mini fist pump which only serves to infuriate Vanessa even further.

 

‘Come on babe it’s hardly the end of the world is it.’

 

Charity immediately realises this is exactly the wrong thing to say as Vanessa’s face deepens a few shades of red and a cup of tea is put down on the counter so hard that a few drops of it splash out over the edge.

 

‘You’re....you’re...’ Vanessa waves her arms in the air as she struggles for words, so Charity helpfully offers up an end to the sentence. ‘Unfairly sexy and irresistible?’

 

Vanessa swivels round so quickly Charity’s surprised she doesn’t give herself whiplash.

 

‘Irritating!!’

 

That wipes the smirk off Charity’s face and she can feel her defences rising, the urge to slip back into her old sarcastic sniping ways coming flooding back.

 

‘Right well. I’ll just take Johnny and Moses to nursery and get out your way shall I. Wouldn’t want to inflict my presence on you any further.’

 

Charity grabs her car keys off the table and shuffles Moses and Johnny towards the front door. Vanessa is banging about in the kitchen, taking her irritation out on the dirty dishes. Charity approaches Vanessa to kiss her goodbye, that’s been their normal parting procedure for a good number of months now. However when Charity leans in, Vanessa ducks away from her with a scowl. Charity can’t stop the hurt flashing across her features at the rejection but decides not to pull at the thread against her nature. Their arguing is often some weird form of foreplay that usually leads to a pleasurable make up later in the day but for now, she decides it’s not worth carrying this on and risking turning it into something bigger.

 

Outside it’s raining and she struggles to get Moses and Johnny to the car without both of them getting more than a little soggy. Strapping both boys in, she slouches down in the driver seat and frowns as a text comes through from Tracey. As she reads it her hand on the phone tightens, the plastic case creaking under her angry grip. There’s another article in the Hotten Post about her and apparently it’s as equally misinformative as all the others. Charity tries to shake off the annoyance and plasters a smile on her face as she turns to the boys in the back.

 

‘Ready for a day at nursery?’

 

Moses giggles but Johnny simply stares at her so she nods and pulls away into the road. They’re half way there when Johnny and Moses start fighting about wanting the same toy. Their shrieks and shouts grate on Charity’s nerves, already stewing over the newspaper article which has now made it as far as the local radio station.

 

‘Will you pair pipe down.’ She snaps then immediately feels guilty for taking it out on them.

 

They stay quiet for about five minutes before starting again so she turns around and grabs the stuffed Rubble out of Moses’ hands, throwing it onto the front passenger seat.

 

‘There. Now neither of you can have it.’

 

She’s twisted to look at them again when Johnny shrieks and she turns just in time to see a car pulling out of a side street as they’re passing. It slams it’s brakes on and thankfully misses them by millimetres but her heart is racing so she slows down to a crawl whilst she regains her composure.

 

Looking in the rear view mirror she sees the car accelerating and pulling up alongside her, the driver gesticulating madly at her. In her already wound up state she lowers her window and begins shouting back at him. In the back of her mind she can hear the boys calling her and she knows she should slow down, but a combination of her argument with Vanessa, the newspaper article and now this fella has Charity at the end of her rag.

 

She’s just about to scream how much of an arsehole she thinks he is when he suddenly slams on his brakes and disappears from her view. The next few seconds move in slow motion as she turns to look through the windscreen. She’s completely forgotten about the bend in this road, and the fence is already scraping up over the bonnet of the car. The tree is too close, far too close, and the last thing Charity hears before everything goes black is Moses screaming.

 

 

 

 

The first thing Charity becomes aware of is a hand squeezing her own so tightly it’s verging on painful. It’s a chore to open her eyes but she manages it in the end and the first thing she sees is Vanessa’s red rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks. She tries to speak but her throat feels like sandpaper so she takes a sip of the water Vanessa’s shaking hands are offering her. A few drops spill out due to the unsteadyness and splash onto her neck, and the coolness is a shock to her system. After a few more sips she feels able to swallow properly and attempts to speak.

 

‘How are the boys?’ It’s croaky and painful to talk but she needs to know. ‘Johnny? Moses?’

 

Vanessa’s lip wobbles and a lone tear makes its way over her cheek. A feeling of dread makes its way into Charity’s stomach, too scared to urge Vanessa to talk.

 

‘They’ll live. But...Moses has a broken arm and Johnny...’ Vanessa chokes on her words, grabbing Charity’s hand and causing her to hiss in pain. ‘Johnny um, he had to have surgery for internal bleeding. But he’ll be ok.’

 

Charity feels sick as she digests this news. The guilt is overpowering. Their children could have died. And it would have been her fault. As she’s silently berating herself she can hear Vanessa asking what happened. She knows she can’t lie. She’s never been able to lie effectively to Vanessa. And the police will likely figure it out anyway. So she takes a deep painful breath and begins.


	12. Chapter Twelve: Boredom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Boredom
> 
> Anybody who isn’t familiar with the Spice Girls, you may not get some of the references. But, yeah hopefully you still like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For May-flower21. 
> 
> There’s a teeny bit of sexual teasing but hopefully this ticks the box for you anyway :)

Vanessa sighs, rubbing her hand over tired eyes. She’s been up since the crack of dawn cleaning the house from top to bottom. Now she’s got a mountain of paperwork to complete in preparation for the end of her suspension. Paddy and Rhona cleared her to work from home today and originally she thought that was a dream come true; no Pearl to annoy her for an entire day. However a bored Charity Dingle is turning out to be an entirely different proposition.

 

Charity did nothing but lounge in bed whilst Vanessa cleaned around her. And now she’s trying to work but her girlfriend has other ideas. Vanessa is sat at the kitchen table, pen in hand, but Charity has deemed it necessary to rest her arms on the back of her chair. Long blonde hair tickles her neck and hot breath against her ear sends an involuntary shudder down her back.

 

‘Babe. Is this really necessary today?’ Charity whispers, pressing herself against Vanessa’s back as much as she can with the chair in the way. ‘I need seeing to.’

 

Vanessa has to bite her lip to avoid moaning out loud. That’s exactly what Charity wants and she’s not going to give in to her that easily. Yet.

 

‘You mean you need attention.’

 

‘So...’ Charity’s lips graze her skin ever so softly. ‘...attend to me.’

 

Charity pulls her ear lobe into her mouth and Vanessa practically loses it. The pen in her hand is creaking from the pressure of her grip. With a level of willpower she never knew she had she pushes the chair back suddenly, sending Charity stumbling backwards.

 

‘Find something to occupy yourself Charity. Something that isn’t me.’

 

Charity huffs and puffs, grumbling under her breath something Vanessa can’t quite hear but does eventually dutifully move over to the couch. Vanessa eyes her suspiciously for a few minutes to make sure she’s actually doing as she’s told before going back to her paperwork.

 

Charity flicks through a variety of TV channels for a while but finds nothing that interests her, so she settles on finding a DVD to watch and begins perusing Vanessa’s selection. She’s running her finger over them, saying their titles out loud in a mildly surprised voice as if it’s the first time she’s ever heard of any of them.

 

‘CHARITY.’ Vanessa sighs loudly and rubs her temples. ‘Don’t you have a pub to run or something?’

 

Charity doesn’t even turn round, but she can feel Vanessa staring daggers at the back of her head.

 

‘Babe Chas is- OH. MY. GOD. VANESSA. Is this yours?’

 

Charity spins, holding up a DVD between her forefinger and thumb like it’s contaminated. Vanessa’s stomach drops. She meant to hide that months ago and completely forgot.

 

‘N-no. It’s...Tracey’s?’

 

Charity scoffs, shaking her head and stalking closer to Vanessa like a predator. When she reaches the table she places the DVD on the table and slides it right in front of Vanessa with one finger before tapping it lightly.

 

‘No. No babe. I once played one of their songs in the pub. Tracey went mental. She hates them.’

 

Vanessa sighs loudly, annoyed at being caught out in that lie. The smirk on Charity’s face is nothing short of infuriating. There’s no way her girlfriend is going to allow her to wriggle out of this one.

 

‘The Spice Girls were my favourite band when I were younger. This came out while I was at uni. I bought it the day it came out.’

 

Charity’s mouth drops open and she raises her hands up in front of her, even taking a slight step backwards.

 

‘You paid money for this? I thought it was maybe a joke present. But you actually chose to buy it? Oh this is gold.’

 

Charity cackles and starts fiddling with her phone. Vanessa can feel her blush deepen even further when the beginning of a Spice Girls song starts playing from Charity’s phone and her girlfriend starts prancing around the kitchen, singing alongand using her phone as a microphone.

 

‘Charity!’

 

The tone of Vanessa’s voice is enough to tell Charity she’s taken that particular performance far enough so she closes down her music app and slumps down into the chair next to Vanessa.

 

‘Sorry babe. You know me. Not one to miss an opportunity. So...who was your favourite?’

 

Vanessa’s head flops forward onto the table. She screws her eyes shut in embarrassment and tries to shut out Charity’s laughing and the image of her smug grin.

 

‘If you must know it was Baby Spice.’

 

Vanessa doesn’t know why she said that. She must have a death wish, she concludes. Because the grin that appears on Charity’s face at that comment is wider than any she’s ever seen.

 

‘Oh. So even then you had a thing for hot blondes huh? Was locking me in the cellar even a mistake or did you have me in your sights from the start?’

 

Vanessa shoves Charity’s shoulder playfully, shaking her head and choosing to ignore that comment.

 

‘Are we done with this conversation now?’

 

It’s wishful thinking really on Vanessa’s part, that Charity will drop this so soon. And the smirk on her face confirms as much.

 

‘Charity, if you tell anyone about this...’

 

Vanessa trails off, not really sure what she might do even if Charity does decide to revel in this with others. There’s a tense silence between the two women as they both mock glare at each other, until Charity bursts out laughing and wanders back over to the couch, humming Spice Up Your Life to herself just loud enough for Vanessa to hear.

 

‘I’ll spice up your life if you don’t pipe down.’

 

Vanessa grumbles under her breath, before returning to her paperwork. She reads the same sentence five times before deciding this isn’t going to get done today. Moving into the living room she unceremoniously plonks herself into Charity’s lap, her girlfriend’s hands involuntarily going to her waist in response.

 

‘Fancy some adult time?’

 

Charity smirks, already having Vanessa’s shirt half open and her lips attached to her neck. Vanessa struggles to stifle a moan as those talented lips make their way higher up her neck towards her ear.

 

‘Yes babe...I wanna make you holler.’

 

Vanessa slaps Charity on the arm, scowling at her and promptly removing herself from her lap. She returns to the kitchen and grabs the pen up, intent on finishing the damn paperwork.

 

‘Babe, come on. Don’t be like that. I’m gonna go up for a bath.’ Charity pauses for dramatic effect. ‘Say you’ll be there?’

 

The last thing Charity sees before she turns and runs for the stairs is a biro sailing through the air towards her head.

 

 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Sad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Sad
> 
>  
> 
> This is a light hearted sad. I felt like everything they’ve got going on, sad doesn’t quite cover those things!
> 
> Requested by an anon commenter

Vanessa is leaning against one of the tables outside the Woolpack, idly watching a group of friends wander off up the road. They’re being loud, and as they pass by her house she winces as one of them shouts at the top of his voice. Tracey is inside and Johnny will be in bed by now. She hopes they haven’t woken him, for her sister’s sake. Taking a long sip of her pint she hoists herself up so she’s sitting on the table top, gazing down at her feet as she swings them back and forth.

 

‘Well aren’t you a wet weekend.’

 

Charity is stood in the doorway looking at Vanessa with a vaguely amused smirk on her face. Vanessa doesn’t even have the energy to come up with a snarky reply, she just takes another gulp of her pint and picks absently at a loose nail in the table.She hears Charity approaching, seeing her feet come into view as she’s continuing to glare daggers into the ground.

 

‘Babe come on its only a game innit.’

 

Vanessa narrows her eyes at Charity but still allows the other woman to step into the gap between her legs. Charity drapes her arms around Vanessa’s shoulders, dropping a quick kiss on her lips as she does so.

 

‘I know it’s stupid. What with everything you’ve got going on at the moment I must seem like a right pathetic numpty.’

 

Vanessa’s cheeks flush as she guiltily looks up at her girlfriend.

 

‘Babe I’ll never understand why you’ve allowed yourself to get upset over a bloody game of football. But it’s not pathetic yeah? If you’re sad, you’re sad.’

 

‘Now...’ Charity leans forward for another kiss. ‘It’s my job to cheer you up innit.’

 

This does finally elicit a small smile from Vanessa and she wraps her legs around Charity’s waist to pull her even closer. She leans forward and rests her forehead in the gap between Charity’s breasts, inhaling her scent deeply and making a small noise of pleasure at the feeling of Charity’s nails scraping gently against her scalp.

 

‘You’re doing well so far. What else you got up your sleeve?’

 

Charity gently takes Vanessa’s chin between a thumb and finger, guiding her head up from staring at their feet to making their eyes meet. They share an intense silence and Vanessa has never felt the urge to tell Charity she loves her more than she has right now. She holds back though, deciding outside the Woolpack wrapped in an England flag whilst miserable probably isn’t the best time.

 

‘Come with me.’

 

Before Vanessa even has time to react, Charity has grabbed her hand and is pulling her off the table and round the back of the pub. Once they’re inside, she directs Vanessa into the middle of the living room, hands on shoulders. Untying the flag, she throws it behind her onto the couch then pulls her phone out and begins fiddling with it.

 

‘Charity what are y-‘ A finger on her lips silences her as Charity seems to find what she’s looking for on her phone, placing it down onto the coffee table beside them. 

 

‘Dance with me Ness.’

 

She allows Charity to pull her close, one hand going around her waist and the other brushing her hair behind her ear before settling down with the other. The start of some 70s love song that Vanessa vaguely remembers has started playing on Charity’s phone, and she allows herself to be pulled flush against Charity’s front as the other woman starts swaying them slowly from side to side.

 

The song picks up a little in the chorus and Vanessa lets out a surprised giggle as Charity makes a show of twirling her around. They stand a few feet apart, both hands entwined as they spin around a few more times, until the song slows down again. Charity pulls Vanessa back in close, burying her face in her neck and wrapping her arms tightly around her waist. Vanessa can feel the vibrations of Charity humming along to the song against her neck, then a small kiss just below her ear.

 

‘I love you Vanessa.’

 

The words are so sincere, so heartfelt. Vanessa feels like her heart could burst out of her chest. She clings to Charity as they continue to sway, needing a few moments to compose herself before she even thinks about responding. When she finally feels able to find her voice, she pulls back slightly, resting their foreheads together. Charity looks so nervous, like she doesn’t think Vanessa is going to say it back. Which, Vanessa thinks, is the least likely thing in the entire world.

 

‘I love you too. So much.’

 

They both grin at each other before embracing again. The song changes to something more upbeat so they slowly break apart, hands clasped tightly together. The living room door opens and closes abruptly and then Chas is there, ending the moment.

 

‘Why are you pair stood ‘ere in silence grinning like a pair of mad fools?’

 


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Sensitive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Sensitive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for an anon who commented. Sorry it’s short, but the next post will be your amusement request, and I’m hoping that particular one will make up for the lack of length here :)

‘Oh my God. Charity are you crying?’

 

They’re lounging at Vanessa’s; having a much needed quiet night in after everything that’s been going on recently. Vanessa lying against the arm of the couch, Charity wedged between her legs and head resting on her chest. Charity’s left hand is clutching Vanessa’s shirt in some kind of death grip. Vanessa has been tempted all night to tease Charity about the fact if anyone saw her like this it would ruin her bad girl image forever, but she doesn’t want her to move, so she keeps her mouth shut.

 

They’ve been watching Titanic though. And they’re right up to the part where the ship starts sinking when she can feel Charity starting to jerk every now and then. The unmistakable sound of a sniffle is what finally prompts her to speak. Now she’s sat here looking at Charity in mild shock, the other woman steadfastly refusing to meet her eye.

 

‘What? No babe.’

 

On the TV, Kate Winslet launches herself out of a life boat and back onto a sinking ship, and Vanessa definitely hears a small sob come from Charity.

 

‘OK yes fine Vanessa. I’m crying.’ Charity can feel Vanessa’s stare on the top of her head but she still refuses to look at her. ‘I don’t know why you’re surprised. I told you ages ago I cry at this film.’

 

Vanessa’s brow furrows in confusion as she tries to recall that particular conversation, until it hits her a moment later.

 

‘Yeah but...I thought you were just taking the mick that day.’

 

‘Yes, well...’ Charity sends Vanessa a withering look. Which isn’t quite so effective with red rimmed eyes. ‘...I wasn’t.’

 

Vanessa waits until Charity has put her head back down against her chest before she allows her grin to surface, then squeezes her a little tighter than she had before.

 

‘Who knew you were such a softie Charity Dingle.’

 

Vanessa can practically feel the eye roll through her shirt as Charity shifts a little but eventually stays where she is.

 

‘You can go off a person you know.’

 

***

 

The next morning, Charity is sat on the couch again. This time however she’s trying to get Johnny into his shoes while Vanessa makes her a brew. She’s just about succeeded in her task when Vanessa’s concerned face appears in front of her.

 

‘Charity, I need to tell you something.’

 

Charity feels her stomach drop, and she lets go of Johnny’s shoelaces long enough for him to wriggle free of her grip and run back to his toys.

 

‘The thing is...’ Vanessa places a comforting hand on Charity’s arm, which only serves to make her even more nervous. ‘The thing is Charity. We’re out of milk. I won’t be able to make you a brew. Now I know this is hard, but please don’t cry.’

 

The moment Charity realises she’s been had she shoves a cackling Vanessa away from her with a huff, leaning back on the couch and crossing her arms over her chest.

 

‘Awww babe, sensitive are we? You look like a stroppy teenager now.’

 

Charity does her best to maintain an angry posture, but then Johnny returns and places a small chubby hand on her knee. He’s looking at her with such concern she immediately softens and grins at him. He lifts his arms up and Charity pulls him into her lap without even a second thought, helping him get comfortable then clapping hands with him. Vanessa watches on with tears in her eyes, feeling like her heart is about to burst out of her chest at what’s happening before her very eyes.

 

‘Who’s the sensitive one now babe?’

 

Vanessa straightens up immediately having not realised Charity was even paying attention to her anymore. She quickly wipes her eyes and goes back into the kitchen.

 

‘No I um, there was just something in my eye that’s all.’

 

 

 


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Amusement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Amusement
> 
> Set an unspecified amount of years in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another anon prompt. :)

‘Mummy, what’s a lesbian?’

 

Vanessa is washing the dishes when Johnny pipes up. They’ve all just finished eating and she had thought he was playing quietly with Moses upstairs. Apparently though, Johnny will be quite useful as a ninja when he’s older because neither she nor Charity, who is lying on the couch, had even noticed the boy until he’s asking the most awkward of questions. Vanessa plays for time by making a show of finishing up washing the plate she currently has in her hands then drying them thoroughly on a nearby tea towel. She turns to face Johnny, hands on hips. He’s staring up at her with an angelic and perfectly innocent look on his face. She can see Charity sitting up now with an amused smirk on her face.

 

‘Where did you hear that word Johnny?’

 

Johnny shrugs and kicks his toe into the kitchen floor.

 

‘Simon at school. He said you’re a great big lesbian. I told him you’re not big but you are great but I didn’t know what a lesbian was so I would check with you and let him know.’

 

Vanessa doesn’t know wether to laugh or cry. She daren’t even look at Charity, knowing exactly what look will be on her face. Taking Johnny’s hand she guides him into one of the chairs at the table and takes the one next to him. He’s still waiting patiently for an answer, running a toy truck back and forth across the table while he waits.

 

‘Sweetheart you know how Chas and Paddy love each other very much?’ Johnny nods so matter of factly, like Vanessa has just told him that one plus one equals two.

 

‘Well, I love Charity in the same way don’t I.’ She shares a loving glance with Charity before proceeding. ‘And sometimes when two Mummys love each other like that, people use that word.’

 

Johnny cocks his head to one side, as if contemplating the ins and outs of what Vanessa has just told him before finally nodding solemnly.

 

‘Now Johnny, did Simon say anything else?’

 

Johnny looks confused then, the toy truck coming to a stop close to the edge of the table with one chubby finger on top of it.

 

‘Where do babies come from?’

 

Vanessa honestly would be happy if the ground opened up and swallowed her whole. Deep down she knows this conversation would have to have happened eventually. Especially with the absence of a father to have it with him. But God, is she not prepared for this. She risks a glance at Charity, who is leaning so far forward on the couch she might fall off, elbows on knees and looking extremely interested in Vanessa’s answer. When their eyes meet Charity waves a hand in the air urging her on with an enormous smirk.

 

‘Um, well Johnny. A baby can be put inside a Mummy’s tummy where it grows until it’s ready to come out. Like you grew in my tummy.’

 

Vanessa bites her lip, hoping to God that’s enough of an explanation for now. Her prayers go unanswered though when Johnny abandons his toy truck altogether and shifts in the chair so he’s fully facing Vanessa.

 

‘Are you and Charity going to make a baby.’

 

The silence is broken by an undignified howl from Charity, causing both Vanessa and Johnny to stare at her. Both have wildly different expressions on their faces though. Johnny giggles at her antics whereas Vanessa looks like she’s ready to kill her.

 

‘Sorry sorry. Go on Vanessa. Answer the question.’ Vanessa opens her mouth, all ready with a retort but Charity beats her to it. ‘Not that I’m not open to trying to achieve that babe. A lot.’

 

Vanessa shoots her a hardened glance but Charity is unmoved, licking her lips and blowing a kiss in her direction.

 

‘Johnny, we already have you and Moses. And Noah and Debbie and Ryan when they visit. I don’t think we need any more do we?’

 

Johnny considers this, even mumbling all their names to himself as he counts them off on his little fingers. Eventually he seems satisfied and nods at Vanessa, who releases a breath she hadn’t even realised she was holding.

 

‘Alright Johnny. Now be a good boy and go back upstairs to play with Moses.’

 

He nods and slides off the chair, truck in hand as he sprints towards the stairs. Everything’s all or nothing at his age. He’s either sprinting or not moving at all. Vanessa winces as he crashes into the wall at the bottom of the stairs, unable to stop in time. But he just gets up and brushes himself off before grinning at Charity and sprinting up the stairs. Charity watches him go before slinking into the kitchen to find Vanessa stood in the middle of it with her mouth hanging open in shock. She uses a finger to close her mouth gently before wrapping both arms around her and kissing the corner of her mouth.

 

‘Well that was...amusing.’

 

That seems to shock Vanessa into moving and she pushes Charity away playfully.

 

‘Yes and you were of absolutely no use thank you very much.’

 

Vanessa pouts, but she allows Charity to draw her back into an embrace and place a soft kiss just underneath her ear.

 

‘You know me babe. Brutally honest. Probably would have scarred the kid for life had I answered those questions.’ Charity kisses Vanessa again, pushing her slowly backwards until her back hits the kitchen counter. ‘Besides, I very much enjoyed watching you squirm. And I think we should get those boys in bed so we cansee if I can defy Mother Nature and get you pregnant.’

 


	16. Chapter Sixteen: Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Confusion. 
> 
> Set sometime after Vanessa’s suspension but before she finds out about Bails.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> readingjewel wanted something with avoidance. I hope this ticks the box!

Vanessa wakes slowly, scrunching her face up against the bright sunlight streaming in through the window. As her consciousness returns to her, she stretches, smiling lazily at the satisfied ache she feels in various parts of her body. She rolls over, intent on getting at least five minutes of cuddling out of Charity before they get interrupted by Johnny, but her hand only finds cold sheet. Frowning, she opens her eyes properly and scans the room. She doesn’t see any of Charity’s belongings, causing a sinking feeling in her stomach. Grabbing her phone, she’s momentarily cheered to see a text from Charity. That feeling doesn’t last long though, when she actually opens and reads it.

 

_Had to open the pub. C_

 

Vanessa scowls at her phone, wondering what could possibly have happened between the mind blowing sex they had just before falling asleep the previous night and waking up this morning. She knows Charity’s moods change like the wind but Vanessa is pretty sure even she can’t annoy Charity while she’s asleep. They’ve been together officially for a few weeks now though, and Charity’s texts have normally been much more affectionate than this. And she’s never left without saying something. Even back when they were doing...whatever it was they were doing in the beginning.

 

Deciding against replying, Vanessa rushes round getting ready for the day. She’s late enough as it is, and she decides to let Charity stew for a while before attempting to make up for whatever it is she’s done on her lunch break.

 

***

 

Two days later and Vanessa has been growing more and more confused by the hour. Since the morning Charity deserted her without a word, they’ve barely exchanged glances. Not for lack of trying on Vanessa’s part though. She’s been in the pub a few times, but every time Charity has either been ‘out’ or has fobbed her off with a flippant comment almost as abrupt as the last text she sent. This is how she finds herself stood outside the Woolpack staring blankly at the door. She puts one foot forward, then seems to think better of it, moving it back. A few seconds later she reaches out a hand as if to grab the door handle, but again has second thoughts and drops it back down to her side.

 

‘It won’t open itself you know.’

 

Vanessa actually jumps back a few inches in shock as Charity’s voice is suddenly in her ear, the scent of her perfume enveloping her. When Vanessa turns, Charity is looking at her with an unreadable expression on her face but still looks infuriatingly gorgeous. Vanessa has half a mind to give her a taste of her own medicine by walking away without a word, but resolves not to lower herself to that level. They’re both so stubborn they could easily spend the rest of their lives never speaking again if they both play that game.

 

‘Charity, what’s wrong?’

 

Charity narrows her eyes slightly. There’s a flash of something Vanessa can’t quite catch before it’s gone, then it’s too late and the blank expression is back.

 

‘Well, I’m no expert but I think you have to push it and then voila, it opens!’

 

It takes all of Vanessa’s willpower not to laugh at Charity’s sarcasm. Even when utterly confused the woman still manages to make her laugh. If she wasn’t so intent on getting to the bottom of...whatever it is that’s going on, she’d allow herself the luxury of humour. But no, right now Vanessa is on a mission. Charity is already on her way inside the pub so Vanessa quickly steps in front of her, hands on hips and adopting what she hopes is her sternest look.

 

‘No Charity. You’ve been avoiding me for days. What’s wrong with _us.’_

 

Again there’s that flash of something in Charity’s eyes but Vanessa can’t quite place it still. They stare each other down for a few seconds, Vanessa lifting her chin defiantly. It doesn’t work though, because then Charity plasters on her best fake smile, pecks her on the lips and brushes past her.

 

‘We’re fine babe. Stop worrying.’

 

Charity doesn’t even look her in the eye when she says it. She’s half way into the pub before the sentence is even out of her mouth. And it leaves Vanessa more confused than ever, not to mention increasingly upset. She’s going to give up and go home to wallow in self pity, even taking half a step away from the pub. But then she thinks better of it, swivelling on the spot and yanking the door open abruptly.

 

She’s inside the pub and out the back before Chas can even get a word out. Charity is sat on the couch with her head in her hands, looking as forlorn as Vanessa has ever seen her. It doesn’t stop her though, she strides purposefully into the centre of the room and throws her bag onto the couch beside Charity, who doesn’t even look up when it bounces on the cushion and comes to rest against her thigh.

 

‘Charity. Can you at least look at me.’

 

Charity obliges, but she doesn’t look Vanessa in the eye, her gaze settling somewhere on her left shoulder. There’s that fake smile again which Vanessa hates, because she’s seen the real one and this has no emotion behind it whatsoever.

 

‘Charity....please tell me what’s wrong.’

 

Vanessa has gone from confused now to fully upset. She’d thought they were past these silly games. Her chest begins to feel tight at the idea that Charity is actually bored of her now it’s been ‘a few weeks’ into their relationship. She stares at Charity, willing her to provide any sort of explanation whatsoever but she simply shrugs her shoulders.

 

‘Babe come on, everything’s fine. Calm down.’

 

Vanessa’s certain she isn’t going to cry in front of Charity. She’ll leg it out of there before that happens. Snatching up her bag, she’s half way to the exit when she has a sudden change of heart and swings back to her previous spot. Charity was half rising from the couch at the time but Vanessa pushes her back down into the cushions. The shocked expression that causes on her face is almost comical.

 

‘No. You’re not going anywhere Charity Dingle. Not until you tell me what’s going on.’

 

Vanessa crosses her arms, determined now she’s not going anywhere until this is sorted out. Charity is sprawled back on the couch, her arms spread out across the back as she stares up at Vanessa with a mixture of trepidation and fear. It’s clear she’s no longer able to maintain her cool exterior and pretend nothing is wrong, so Vanessa decides to push on.

 

‘You’ve barely spoken to me since the other day. I’ve not spent any time with you at all since then, and God forbid you actually make conversation. And I-no you sit and listen for now-‘ Charity had opened her mouth as if to interrupt but promptly closes it at that. ‘-and I thought we were past these ridiculous games. So you tell me right now Charity what’s wrong. Or let’s just call this quits eh?’

 

Charity looks up in shock at Vanessa’s suggestion that they end things. She doesn’t move, until Vanessa lets out a noise of frustration and grabs her bag as if to leave. Charity gently takes hold of her wrist and tugs. Vanessa takes the hint and occupies the space her bag had previously been, throwing it carelessly on the floor.

 

‘Talk to me Charity. What did I _do.’_

 

Vanessa hates sounding like the whining girlfriend, but she has no idea what’s gone wrong. And she thinks she knows Charity well enough now to know that there is something. She’s not the heartless manipulating bitch most people in the village think she is. Especially not when she looks at the woman now, and she’s wringing her hands nervously and staring at the floor with wide eyes. Vanessa takes one of her hands, linking their fingers together and resting them in her lap.

 

‘You’re going to think it’s...’ Charity lets out a huge sigh and rolls her eyes. ‘You’re going to think _I’m_ stupid.’

 

Vanessa squeezes the hand she’s clinging on to as tight as she can and leans forward into Charity’s line of sight.

 

‘If it’s got you avoiding me like the plague, it’s not stupid.’

 

Charity makes a small noise of agreement before exhaling loudly and nodding.

 

‘Johnny....he told me he loves me.’

 

Vanessa scrunches her face up in confusion. She can’t recall ever having noticed Johnny say that, and she’s been there all of the times he and Charity have been together.

 

‘The other night. He woke up and you were proper zonked out. Thanks to me.’ Charity laughs and winks at Vanessa. ‘So I got up and settled him. He were half asleep and he told me he loved me.’

 

Vanessa takes a moment to mull over how to respond to that. On the one hand she’s delighted that Johnny adores Charity, since she plans on keeping her around for a long time. However she hasn’t even said those words to Charity herself yet, so she can definitely see why Johnny saying them would have spooked her.

 

‘He can just see how brilliant you are. Got good taste like his Mother hasn’t he.’

 

Charity laughs lightly and Vanessa feels some of the tension leave her body. She had been expecting this to be something she had inadvertently done wrong. Unexpected declarations of love from her small person in the dead of night she can fix.

 

‘Look Charity, please don’t read too much into it. He’s a kid. Let him watch Paw Patrol at breakfast and he’ll tell you he loves you.’

 

This makes Charity laugh again, but then she seems to remember herself and becomes serious, pulling her hand out of Vanessa’s death grip.

 

‘You shouldn’t let him get attached to me Ness. I’m no role model for a kid. Look at the mess I made with mine. They all hate me.’

 

Vanessa takes a deep breath before getting on her knees on the floor in front of Charity. She wedges herself into the gap between her legs and forces her to make eye contact.

 

‘So you thought avoiding me would solve this? Making me think I had done something wrong? That you didn’t want to be with me anymore?’

 

At that Charity’s eyes widen and her hands shoot out to grab Vanessa by the elbows.

 

‘God NO Ness. I’m...Christ I never meant for you to think that. I just...I don’t know what I was thinking to be honest. I just panicked.’

 

Vanessa smiles and allows Charity to pull her closer. It’s awkward; she’s now leaning over her in some sort of uncomfortable hug. But she’ll take it. It’s certainly an improvement over the last few days at least.

 

‘Next time you panic. Talk to me ok?’ Charity nods so Vanessa ploughs on. ‘And you’re NOT a bad mother. I’d trust you with Johnny any day.’

 

There’s a shuddering sigh from Charity as she holds Vanessa as close as she can in their current position.

 

‘God I’m so sorry Ness. I’m such an idiot.’

 

Vanessa shakes her head, the movement limited as she’s squished against Charity’s neck. ‘You’ll hear no argument from me.’ Leaning back slightly, she pulls her into a soft kiss. Bracing her hands on Charity’s knees she then pulls herself up off the floor with a groan. Walking backwards, she fixes Charity with a sultry look.

 

‘Now, how about you come to bed and make this up to me?’

 

 

 

 


	17. Chapter Seventeen: Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Breakdown
> 
> Spoiler alert: character death(s)
> 
> Spoiler alert 2: no lesbians or bisexuals are killed in the making of this fic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by an anon. Hope you like it.

It’s three months since the unthinkable happened and Bails was found not guilty by a jury that Vanessa is certain didn’t have two brain cells to rub together between them. She’s been so angry and upset, but most of all her heart aches for how utterly devastated Charity has been. She’s tiptoed around her girlfriend for weeks, given her the space she needs, even allows herself to be an emotional punching bag.

 

But that’s barely old news when Chas goes into labour early. Too early. They’re prepared for what was going to happen, all of them. But it doesnt make it any easier in the moment. Vanessa feels even more useless during that. Like a spare part for a car in a garage dealing only in motorcycles. She’d even leave the hospital if not for Charity’s death grip on her hand preventing her from going anywhere.

 

The silence is the worst. Shouting, screaming, anger. She’s successfully navigated all that with Charity and her various family members in the duration of their relationship. But the loss of Chas and Paddy’s baby causes a deafening silence in the family that nobody seems to either want or know how to fill.

 

It’s barely a month after that when Charity gets the call about Sarah. They’re only sitting in Vanessa’s living room in silence, like they mostly do these last few months. Vanessa has run out of comforting things to say to Charity without beginning to sound like a broken record. The pain and anger radiates off her girlfriend in waves and Vanessa has no idea how to make it better, because she feels so angry about it all herself too. So she settles for comforting touches and encouraging looks, hoping that her presence alone is in some way helping Charity.

 

There’s been slight progress this morning when Johnny is able to pull a small smile out of Charity by telling her he loves her. But then all that goes right out the window a few hours later when Charity gets the call from Cain about Sarah. Vanessa’s been listening to Charity’s side of the phone call, and it’s enough to know what’s happened. Charity’s facing away from Vanessa while she’s on the call, and even after it ends she keeps the phone held to her ear, too in shock to do anything. It’s only when the phone falls from her grasp and clatters onto the floor that Vanessa is spurred into action. In the time it takes her to travel from the couch into her kitchen, Charity has collapsed onto the floor with an agonising wail that actually causes Vanessa physical pain to listen to.

 

In all the time Vanessa has known Charity. Like, really known her. Not just as the irritable spiteful cow who runs the pub, but as her lover, her girlfriend, her soulmate, she has never seen Charity cry like she is right now. It’s a gut wrenching howling that seems like it’ll never stop. Vanessa sits with her arms around her, but she knows there’s nothing she can say. She settles for whispering Charity’s name through her own tears as they cling to each other on her kitchen floor. Eventually, the crying stops and Charity just stares off into the distance.

 

‘Do you...I mean...shall we move to the couch?’

 

Vanessa’s words are rough, her throat sore from crying. She can’t even begin to imagine how Charity must feel right now. She nods, a vacant look in her eyes, so Vanessa gently shifts them into a standing position and guides Charity over to the couch. They’ve been sat there barely a few seconds when Charity suddenly jumps up, grabbing her phone and keys off the table.

 

‘Charity, where are you-‘

 

‘Leave me alone Vanessa.’

 

Vanessa follows Charity out the front door, wincing against the rough concrete against her bare feet. She reaches out and grabs Charity by the elbow but her grip is shaken off easily.

 

‘I need a minute Ness.’ Charity shouts over her shoulder without even breaking stride. ‘Can you just give me a minute’s peace.’

 

Vanessa stands in front of her house, sobbing, as Charity walks away.

 

***

 

Vanessa sits awkwardly at the table in Charity’s kitchen. After taking a few hours to compose herself she had come here looking for Charity but had only found Chas and Paddy looking as heartbroken as she felt. The pub’s closed, the news of Sarah having already made its way around the village. Nobody would dare come in for a drink even if any of them were in a state to open up. Joe called round an hour ago offering to take Noah and Moses for the night, for once Vanessa had been glad to see him. Paddy, Chas and herself have been sat in silence ever since. Paddy tried to make conversation a couple of times by reminiscing about Sarah, but his attempts are quickly shot down by a stern glare from Chas. The three of them jump in their seats when there’s a sudden knock at the door. Chas opens it up only to come face to face with a police officer.

 

‘Vanessa Woodfield?’

 

Vanessa’s stomach drops into her feet. In the time it takes her to get from the kitchen to the door her mind is racing a mile a minute thinking about what has happened and to who. She honestly doesn’t think she can take any more bad news. The policeman steps to the side wordlessly and Vanessa breathes a huge sigh of relief to see Charity swaying behind him, looking rather worse for wear.

 

‘Found her off her face picking a fight with some losers who were harassing a group of girls. Lucky for her I was passing when I did.’

 

Vanessa thanks the officer and he nods gruffly before wandering off into the night. She waits for Charity to enter the house of her own accord, except she’s staring at the ground with such a vacant expression on her face that Vanessa grasps her wrist and gently pulls her inside.

 

‘Charity you’ve been gone for hours. I was worried sick.’

 

Chas hovers but Charity isn’t paying her any attention. Vanessa gives her a sympathetic nod and murmurs quietly about taking her upstairs. It takes them a few minutes to navigate the stairs, Charity stumbling from the alcohol in her system and the sheer mental exhaustion. Eventually though they make it to the bed. Vanessa sits Charity on the edge as she undresses her slowly. When she lifts her top over her head, she notices tears running silently down Charity’s cheeks. Reaching up she wipes them away with her thumb, swallowing down the lump in her throat.

 

‘Ness...I’m not ok.’

 

Charity’s voice is so raw, so full of emotion that it takes Vanessa’s breath away. She doesn’t say anything, just pulls Charity into her arms. It’s awkward though because she’s standing and leaning over Charity, so she climbs onto the bed and manoeuvres them into a lying down position. Wrapping one arm around her shoulders, she uses her free hand to guide Charity’s face into her neck. Vanessa wants to tell her it’s going to be ok, but she knows that would be a lie. So instead, she simply lets Charity cry.


	18. Chapter Eighteen: Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reaction to the previous chapter was just...wow. Thank you so much to everyone who has left feedback or kudos. I never expected this would be so popular!

‘You did WHAT?’

The panicked look on Charity’s face is enough to make Chas laugh out loud. Charity looks wildly around her to make sure Vanessa isn’t within earshot. 

‘Alright foghorn felula. Can we talk at normal decibels please. Vanessa does not know about this.’

‘Yet.’ Chas smirks, but thankfully quiets down. She shakes her head and looks Charity up and down. 

‘So where is it then?’ Chas wafts her arm in Charity’s general direction. ‘Oh God. You didn’t get her name did you?’

Charity rolls her eyes, shoving Chas more than a little forcefully. ‘Give over. As if.’ 

Chas shrugs, still appraising Charity with suspicious eyes. 

‘Oh I don’t know Charity. You pair take loved up to whole new levels. It’s almost sickening.’

Another eye roll, and an agitated shrug but then Charity leans over the table they’re sitting at abruptly, pulling her hair to one side and revealing a small tattoo at the base of her neck.

‘Did it hurt?’ Chas hums, squinting her eyes as she leans as close as humanly possible. 

‘More than childbirth actually. But you know me. Hard as nails.’

Chas scoffs, causing Charity to glare at her in mock offence. 

‘Well I like it.’ Chas nods her approval as Charity drops her hair and leans back in her seat. ‘It’s very you.’

‘What’s very you?’

Vanessa appears as if from nowhere, causing both women to jump in their seats and look guiltily at one another. 

‘Er...Charity was just showing me a new top she wants to order online.’

Chas is hardly convincing, especially with Charity sending her evils at her inability to come up with a better cover story. Vanessa seems to buy it though, giving Charity a peck on the cheek before announcing she’s off to work. 

***

Its hours later when Charity next sees Vanessa. She’s doing the dishes, in her own little world and singing softly to herself. Suddenly a pair of arms wrap themselves around her waist and she lets out an involuntary hiss of pain at the kiss Vanessa places on the back of her neck. 

‘Christ Ness.’

Vanessa looks confused, watching Charity like a hawk as she dries off her hands and fiddles with her hair. 

‘What’s wrong? What have you done? Did Megan hurt you again?’

It warms Charity’s heart that Vanessa is so fiercely protective of her, even nearly two weeks after she was punched in the face. The woman is half way across the room ready to scream bloody murder at Megan out in the bar but Charity grabs her wrist, stopping her in her tracks. 

‘Alright alright calm down before you give yourself an aneurism. It wasn’t Megan.’

Charity sighs, sweeping her hair to the side and turning her back to Vanessa. 

‘Don’t touch it it’s-‘ Vanessa promptly leans forward and runs a finger over it, causing Charity to jump forward a few inches. ‘-SENSitive. NESS. Steady on for the love of God.’

Charity bites her lip as Vanessa traces her finger around the outside of the tattoo. It’s more gentle this time but still causes Charity to wince. 

‘What do you think? I’m sorry I didn’t-‘

Vanessa cuts off the rest of Charity’s sentence by grabbing her hips and pushing her up against the kitchen counter. The hands wander around the front and sneak underneath Charity’s top, fingers teasing under the very edge of the waistband of her trousers and eliciting a low moan from the other woman. 

‘I think it’s very sexy.’ Vanessa presses herself against Charity’s back and whispers in her ear. ‘And I think you better take me upstairs right now.’

Charity spins abruptly and begins to walk Vanessa backwards. There’s a predatory look in her eyes that sends Vanessa’s knees to jelly. 

‘Why would I go that far babe when there’s a perfectly good couch here?’

Just as Charity says that, Vanessa feels the back of her knees hit said couch. Charity doesn’t stop there though, pushing Vanessa backwards with a single finger on her chest until she’s slumped against the cushions. She wastes no time at all climbing into Vanessa’s lap and initiating a slow deep kiss that has them both moaning. 

Vanessa’s fingers work overtime freeing the buttons of Charity’s shirt. Once she has them all undone she grabs each side of the shirt and pulls it roughly over Charity’s shoulders. The material bunches at her elbows as she’s not willing to remove her hands from Vanessa’s hair as they kiss, but Vanessa doesn’t mind. She’s got access to what she needs now as she runs a finger teasingly around the edge of Charity’s bra. 

Eventually Charity gets fed up of her arms being restrained by her shirt and with a grumble she reluctantly brings her hands and lips away from Vanessa just long enough to rid her shirt, stopping to remove Vanessa’s as well before their lips find each other again. Charity moans at the feeling of Vanessa’s tongue against her own but she manages to tear herself away, pressing small kisses along Vanessa’s jaw until she finds her favourite spot underneath her ear. It never fails to make Vanessa moan when she kisses her here. In fact it fascinates Charity how such a small innocuous piece of skin can elicit such a response from the other woman. 

Charity is fiddling with the clasp on Vanessa’s bra, half heartedly trying to get it open as she is fully aware Chas or Marlon could walk in at any moment, when Vanessa lets out a loud moan. 

‘Babe. Upstairs. Now.’

Charity practically hauls Vanessa up off the couch and they crash around the room and up the stairs, neither wanting to stop kissing long enough to reach their destination safely. Once they’re finally into Charity’s bedroom, Vanessa backs away slightly and removes her bra. She smirks as she watches Charity’s reaction, eyes widening and a hungry look on her face like she hasn’t eaten for days. 

With no warning whatsoever, Charity grabs Vanessa around her thighs and hoists her up, ignoring the bed and choosing instead to press her into the wall nearby, Vanessa’s legs instinctively coming to wrap around her waist. Her lips immediately return to that little spot beneath Vanessa’s ear that she loves so much. She pulls away in pain though when Vanessa’s hands again find their way around her neck and rub against the new tattoo. Twisting around, she deposits Vanessa on the bed, crawling over her before she has a chance to move. With a show of strength that has Vanessa’s stomach doing flips, Charity pins both of her hands above her head at the wrists before again resuming her exploration of her neck. 

‘If you can’t keep these to yourself, I guess I’ll have to restrain you won’t I.’


	19. Chapter Nineteen: Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Hope
> 
> I got half way through writing this and started to wonder if it was too out of character for Charity. But then this week’s episodes happened and I felt better about it. So here we are. This is a follow up to the breakdown chapter, as requested by an anon commenter.

Vanessa sighs deeply as she scrubs at a particularly stubborn stain on the kitchen side. It’s curry, put there weeks ago at a time when she had more important things to be worrying about than a bit of sauce on the counter. Now though, now it’s a reminder that she’d rather not have of just what a shit show her life has become. Frowning, she viciously sprays far too much cleaning fluid over the stain for the third time and scrubs harder. The muscles in her wrist are starting to ache but she’s determined she’s not going to stop until the stain is no longer visible.

 

But then the doorbell rings so she throws down the cloth in defeat and stomps through the house, flinging the door open to find a mildly startled Tracy on the other side.

 

‘What?’

 

‘Well hello to you too.’ Tracy nudges Vanessa out the way as she lets herself into the house. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten V. We’re meant to be going shopping today. You know, sisterly bonding over how pathetic and worthless our lives are now?’

 

Vanessa follows Tracy into the living room, grabbing various discarded items of clothing and toys off the couch to make room for her to sit. Throwing it all onto the armchair instead, she turns to face Tracy with her arms folded over her chest and a grimace on her face.

 

‘No. I remember YOU saying that’s what we were doing. However I said I wanted to stay in bed all day and eat ice cream.’

 

Tracy rolls her eyes and it brings a sharp pain in Vanessa’s chest. A reminder of somebody she’s been trying very hard not to think about the last couple of weeks. She quickly grabs her bag and pulls Tracy off the couch and out the front door in a matter of seconds.

 

‘Jesus V slow down. Where’s the fire?’

 

Vanessa ignores her, practically dragging her sister down the road towards the bus stop. Once there, Vanessa paces back and forth in front of the bus shelter until Tracy finally places herself in the way.

 

‘You wanted to go shopping. So let’s go shopping.’

 

The two sisters stare at each other in silence, Tracy trying to figure out the right thing to say. Vanessa has tears in her eyes and her lib begins to wobble when Tracy puts an arm around her.

 

‘Has something happened? Have you seen her?’

 

That causes a sob from Vanessa so Tracy angles them into the shelter and sits them both down on the bench. Tracy waits patiently while Vanessa composes herself, wrapping a comforting arm around her waist.

 

‘I haven’t seen Charity for a week.’

 

Vanessa feels Tracy’s hand tighten around her waist and knows she’s getting angry.

 

‘Tracy look, don’t get mad. After everything that happened she-‘

 

‘After everything that _happened_ -‘ Tracy interrupts Vanessa with a finger up in the air. ‘-you would think she’d have leaned on you for support. Not _chucked_ you.’

 

Vanessa sighs and rubs her hand over her eyes and shakes her hand.

 

‘Tracy...’

 

‘I know I know.’ Tracy interrupts again. ‘She hasn’t chucked you. But that’s a technicality really int it. Cause you aren’t _together_ either are you?’

Vanessa shrugs, kicking her shoes against the front of the bus shelter.

 

‘I honestly don’t know what we are right now.’

 

Tracy thinks she’s never seen her look so dejected. With a decisive nod she grabs Vanessa’s hand and starts dragging her back towards home.

 

‘Sod town. We need to get drunk. And we can’t go the pub. So we’ll just get sozzled at your....oh.’

 

Tracy comes to a stop so quickly that Vanessa bundles into the back of her. She’s about to give her what for when Tracy clamps a hand over her mouth and points towards her house with the other.

 

‘Look V. She’s _here_. Waiting for you.’

 

Vanessa’s mouth falls open in shock as her eyes follow Tracy’s pointed finger to see Charity stood outside her front door looking sheepish. She takes one step forward towards the house when Tracy abruptly yanks her back round the corner by her arm.

 

‘Wait. Why is she here?’

 

‘I dunno Tracy.’ Vanessa waves her arms in the air. ‘Let me get my crystal ball out.’

 

Tracy slaps Vanessa lightly on her arm before peeking around the corner. Charity is still stood outside the front door but is looking around and biting her lip nervously.

 

‘She looks like she’s about to scarper. Are we hiding here or do you want to go talk to her?’

 

Vanessa mulls it over for a moment. Since Sarah’s funeral Charity has retreated into her own bubble of self destruction and alcohol, not allowing anyone to come close to her at all. She had thought her and Charity were past all this, but apparently not. Neither of them have actually ended the relationship. Vanessa doesn’t think she could ever bring herself to do that no matter what happened. But it’s been nearly a month since they even spoke more than a few words to each other, and that’s been hell for Vanessa. Nodding in Tracy’s direction, she squeezes her arm gently.

 

‘I’ll go see what she wants.’

 

Tracy smiles and straightens out Vanessa’s jacket, even brushing a stray bit of hair out of her face.

 

‘Don’t let her off easy ok?’

 

With one last smile Vanessa leaves Tracy and starts walking towards her house. Charity is peering in the front window as she approaches so doesn’t notice her until she’s only a few feet away.

 

‘Casing the joint are you?’

 

The look on Charity’s face as she jumps away from the window is almost comical. She takes a look around before gesturing towards the front door.

 

‘Can we uh...go inside?’

 

Vanessa squints at Charity in the morning sunshine. A part of her enjoys watching Charity grow more and more uncomfortable the longer it takes her to respond. She waits until Charity looks ready to bolt before sighing and opening the door, waving with one hand to get Charity to enter. Once they’re both inside they stand in the living room in an awkward silence. Vanessa has spent all month wanting an opportunity to actually speak to her girlfriend without being ignored or pushed away, but now that the opportunity is here, she’s at a loss for what to say. Instead, all she can do is try not to cry at the sight of the woman she loves in her house again after so long.

 

‘Ness, I’m so...’

 

Charity senses Vanessa is on the verge of tears and swallows the rest of her apology, reaching out to her instead. She seems to think better of it at the last minute though, letting her hand drop limply to her side. It’s as though she knows a simple apology isn’t going to cut it this time around. Shaking her head, she moves a step closer into Vanessa’s personal space, relieved when she doesn’t move away.

 

‘I’ve been a prize idiot haven’t I.’

 

Vanessa scoffs at the understatement but doesn’t move or say anything. She’s staring resolutely at her own shoes, knowing if she looks at Charity those tears she’s trying so hard to keep at bay will come freely.

 

‘The trial. Chas. Sarah.’ Charity’s voice breaks and it pains Vanessa not to comfort her. ‘It all got too much. I couldn’t handle it. I turned to alcohol but I should have turned to you.’

 

Charity takes another tiny step forward so they’re almost touching. Vanessa can smell the unmistakable scent of Charity’s perfume. It’s intoxicating and it prevents her from thinking clearly so she shuffles back slightly to restore the previous gap between them. She doesn’t miss the hurt expression that the movement causes on Charity’s face though.

 

‘You should. Instead you made me feel unwanted. Like I didn’t exist. For three weeks Charity. Three weeks. Everyone asks if we’ve split up. I don’t even know what the answer to that question is.’

 

Charity looks up in shock then, reaching out to grasp Vanessa by her elbows.

 

‘What? God no Ness. NO. I never wanted...’ Charity chokes back a sob and pulls Vanessa close enough to rest her head on her shoulder. ‘I can’t lose you. I’m so sorry. Please help me.’

 

Vanessa feels her shoulder grow wet with tears. She has to look up to the ceiling and swallow hard to stop her own from falling. Eventually she wraps her arms around Charity and pulls their bodies together, feeling she other woman sigh in relief at the contact. Running one hand up and down her back, she twists the other into Charity’s hair and presses her face into her neck as she cries. It feels good to have Charity in her arms again, but Tracy’s words about not letting her off easy ring round in her head. Easing Charity onto the couch, she gently wipes away her tears and sits back next to her though at a respectable distance.

 

‘Charity, I know the last few months have been hell for you. But they have for me too. And you pushing me away after all that...it breaks my heart.’

 

Charity gingerly places a hand on Vanessa’s knee, squeezing and wrapping her fingers around it when the contact isn’t immediately rebuffed.

 

‘I’ll do anything Ness. Just tell me I didn’t ruin this.’

 

Vanessa bites her lip as she considers this. Eventually she reaches out and runs a thumb over the hand that’s resting on her knee.

 

‘You stop using alcohol to numb the pain.’

 

Vanessa meets Charity’s eye, who nods immediately. Charity leans forward and stares at Vanessa intently, sensing there’s more to come.

 

‘And you make things right with your family. Especially Chas and Debs. They needed you even more than I did.’

 

Charity looks down guiltily at that, picking at an imaginary thread with her free hand.

 

‘And you remember what I told you all those months ago. Don’t ever say you’re ok when you’re not. You can let go with me.’

 

Charity nods again, biting her lip in an attempt to prevent more tears from falling. When she looks at Vanessa, there’s such a look of determination in her eyes that Charity can’t help but feel the same. She straightens up, wiping her eyes and giving Vanessa’s knee a squeeze where her hand still sits.

 

‘Don’t EVER do this to me again Charity.’

 

Charity’s eyes shine bright with hope at that, the first time Vanessa has seen any emotion in them at all since the world started to fall apart around them.

 

‘You mean...’

 

Vanessa nods and shifts on the couch so she’s sitting sideways and facing Charity. She links their hands together, twisting her fingers around Charity’s and holding on tight.

 

‘We can’t just go straight back to how we were. But...how about you come over tonight and I’ll cook us dinner. And we can talk.’

 

Charity nods eagerly, leaning forward slightly to get as close to Vanessa as she dare.

 

‘I’ve missed you so much Ness.’ Charity’s voice drops to a whisper, their faces only inches apart. ‘I want to tell you that I...I...’

 

Vanessa interrupts the sentence by placing a finger on Charity’s lips. She knows what’s she’s trying to say. It’s three words she’s been longing to hear since the day she was sat on a dog bed talking to a snake. Her stomach’s doing flips at the thought of finally hearing them.

 

‘No. Not like this. Mend my heart first. And your own. Then tell me that.’

 

Charity finally smiles then, a small smile but a smile nonetheless. One which Vanessa can’t help but return.

 

‘So we’re going to be ok?’

 

Vanessa strokes a thumb over Charity’s jaw, staring intently into her eyes. Finally she leans forward and places a soft kiss on her forehead.

 

‘I hope so Charity. I hope so.’


	20. Chapter Twenty: Grieving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Grieving

‘I’m so so sorry Johnny. Mummy tried everything she could to save him. But Marshall was just too poorly. And he died.’

 

Vanessa’s voice breaks as she watches Johnny’s face fall and tears fill his eyes.

 

‘He’s in heaven?’

 

Vanessa’s nod is the catalyst for Johnny’s tears to begin falling but instead of flinging himself at her, he chooses Charity instead, who’s sat beside her on the couch. A look of surprise crosses over Charity’s face as she awkwardly embraces Johnny and tries to sooth his crying.

 

‘Come on Johnnybobs, isn’t it better now he’s not in pain anymore?’

 

Johnny shakes his head vehemently before looking accusingly at Vanessa.

 

‘Mummy should have saved him. She’s useless. I hate her.’

 

The look that comment causes on Vanessa’s face hits Charity right in the gut. It’s a mixture of hurt and devastated, with a good dose of shock thrown in too. With one arm she’s cradling Johnny against her chest as he cries, the other she reaches out to Vanessa, running a thumb tenderly across her jaw before clasping their hands tightly together and sending what she hopes is a reassuring smile.

 

‘Johnny that’s not a nice thing to say about your Mum is it? Nobody could save Marshall. He was a very poorly hamster.’

 

Johnny climbs down off her lap and stands in the gap between the couch and coffee table, sniffling away and wiping his nose on his sleeve. Vanessa looks like she wants to reach out for him but the second she moves even an inch, Johnny flees. His feet make barely any noise as he stomps up the stairs but the sound of him slamming his bedroom door causes Vanessa to flinch. Now that her other hand is free, Charity reaches over and rubs Vanessa’s knee through her jeans.

 

‘Babe he’s only a kid. He doesn’t get it. He’ll be fine in a few days yeah?’

 

Vanessa’s eyes are shining bright from unshed tears, her bottom lip wobbling. She lurches forward and buries her face in Charity’s neck, her momentum pushing them both back against the arm of the couch. Charity holds her as she cries, rubbing her back and whispering soothing words. It’s not the first time Charity wonders when she became the type of person to try to take another person’s pain away instead of exploiting it. Well she knows the answer to that question. When she fell head over heels in love with Vanessa Woodfield, that’s when.

 

***

 

It’s been three days since the passing of Marshall the hamster, and Johnny is still steadfastly sticking to his blanking of Vanessa. Vanessa has tried being strict, being kind, nothing seems to garner a reaction. Charity jokingly mentions one day that he gets his stubbornness from his mother, which doesn’t go down well with Vanessa, who employs some ignoring of her own for the rest of the afternoon after that comment.

 

It’s on the fourth day when Charity is putting Johnny to bed (he won’t let Vanessa do it yet) that things start to change. Charity comes tip-toeing down the stairs, hissing at Vanessa to follow her back up quietly. They sneak back to Johnny’s room where Vanessa sees he is already fast asleep. She’s about to whisper to Charity what they’re doing here when she points to a drawing Johnny has made and stuck to his bedroom wall.

 

‘He loves you babe. He’s just grieving his first loss isn’t he.’

 

The picture shows a very crude scribble of four figures, two of which are clearly himself and Moses due to the size of them. The other two taller figures are Charity and Vanessa, only distinguishable due to the green shirt Vanessa is wearing, both of them sporting bright yellow hair. Vanessa smiles at the picture, her heart filling with joy as Charity wraps an arm around her waist and guides her back downstairs.

 

***

 

The next night Johnny insists on having Charity put him to bed again. There’s a glare in Vanessa’s direction and a comment about it being what Marshall would want that has Vanessa gulping down a large glass of wine before Charity even has him up the stairs. She’s working on her second glass before she realises Charity has been gone a lot longer than she should have. Creeping up the stairs, she can hear Charity’s voice in a low whisper talking to Johnny, so she hangs back to listen in.

 

‘You love your Mummy Johnny. Just like she loves you.’

 

Vanessa doesn’t hear a reply from Johnny so she assumes he’s nodding along in silence like he does a lot of the time. A bitter part of her thinks he’s probably shaking his head, but she knows that’s probably not true even if he is mad at her right now.

 

‘Well Mummy did everything she could to save Marshall. Even Doctor Skye wouldn’t have been able to save him.’

 

‘Skye made Marshall better on the television.’

 

Vanessa can’t help but smile at that. Johnny’s obsession with Paw Patrol is lasting much longer than she could ever have anticipated. And Charity’s ability to play along with it absolutely melts her heart.

 

‘But television Marshall wasn’t as poorly as hamster Marshall. Your Mummy is the best person I know, especially at saving animals. If she couldn’t save him, I don’t think anybody could.’

 

Vanessa smiles at that. She’s taken her fair share of ribbing from Charity about her job, it’s nice to hear her admitting what she really feels.

 

‘Uh huh. I spose you’re right Chatty.’

 

‘I am little man. And listen. Your Mummy is _just_ as sad about Marshall going to heaven as you are. So we have to show her how much we love her, just like she does _every_ _day_ with us ok?’

 

Vanessa’s eyes fill with tears and she decides she’s heard enough. She creeps back down the stairs and waits on the couch for Charity to return. When she sits herself down beside her on the couch, Vanessa wastes no time in pulling her into a heated kiss. When they eventually part, Charity looks suspiciously between Vanessa and the stairs.

 

‘What uh...’ Charity clears her throat and shakes her head to clear the arousal that is clouding her mind. ‘What was that for?’

 

‘Just you.’ Vanessa smiles and pulls Charity in for another kiss. ‘Just for you being you.’

 

***

 

It’s a few days later when Charity next sees Johnny. She’s agreed with Vanessa to pick him and Moses up from nursery since she’s stuck working late. Charity greets them at the door, wrangling them both into coats and making sure they have the correct shoes on. It’s a battle with just one of them, but with two it’s an absolute nightmare. She spies one of the staff smirking at her failed attempts and sends her a death glare, the woman quickly turning away. Pleased at her ability to remain scary to at least one person in this world, she finally gets both boys sorted and bundles them into the car. As she’s buckling them up, Johnny grabs her jacket and tugs on it, waving a crumpled piece of paper in the air in a chubby fist.

 

‘What’s this Johnnybobs? Another masterpiece?’

 

Charity carefully unfolds the paper and can’t help but smile at what she sees. Tucking it into Johnny’s backpack, she pokes him on the nose with a finger before jumping into the driver’s seat.

 

‘Reckon we’ll show that to your Mum when we’re home eh?’

 

***

 

When Charity ushers the two boys through the front door they immediately run straight upstairs to Johnny’s room. Moses shouts a quick ‘Hi Ness’ over his shoulder but Johnny doesn’t say anything. Vanessa slumps down into the couch, frowning. Charity comes to sit beside her and kisses her soundly, smoothing over the frown with her thumb.

 

‘I’ve got something for you babe.’

 

Vanessa’s scowl deepens even further as she slouches down into the cushions.

 

‘Is it a son that _actually_ loves me?’

 

Charity laughs lightly, reaching into a pocket and pulling out a folded piece of paper.

 

‘Actually, yes. Yes it is.’

 

Charity unfolds the paper and places it on the coffee table, gesturing at it for Vanessa to take a look. Suitably intrigued, Vanessa studies the drawing. Charity smirks at the confusion that crosses her face.

 

‘I don’t understand.’

 

Charity leans forward and taps the small scribble vaguely in the shape of a human.

 

‘That’s Johnnybobs.’ Charity nods. ‘They were asked to draw themselves as what they want to be when they grow up.’

 

Vanessa studies the picture further, but she’s still none the wiser.

 

‘Christ Ness you need lessons in deciphering children’s drawings.’ Charity slaps a finger down on the other scribble on the page. ‘That’s clearly an animal. And that there...’ She moves her fingers to a long thin object on the page. ‘...is a scalpel.’

 

Vanessa still looks confused, glancing between the drawing and Charity with her eyebrows scrunched up.

 

‘Come on Ness. You’re a clever clogs. He’s obviously performing an operation on Marshall. Clearly he wants to be you when he grows up.’

 

Charity sees the moment the recognition hits Vanessa. Her eyes light up and she’s sporting a huge grin, but Charity can’t resist a little sarcasm.

 

‘Either that or we’ve got an animal murderer on our hands.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	21. Chapter Twenty One: Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, this is the big one. I’m a little nervous about posting this but I’m ripping the band aid off, so to speak. Because a lot of you wanted this. So I hope I’ve done it justice. This is the third and final part to the Breakdown/Hope/Healing trilogy. 
> 
> Also, spoiler alert. There’s a mean word for lesbian in here. Sorry if that offends you.

‘You have to go Charity.’

 

Charity shakes her head vehemently, pacing back and forth in Vanessa’s living room in an agitated manner.

 

‘No.’ She stops pacing for long enough to point accusingly at Vanessa. ‘I don’t _have_ to do anything.’

 

Vanessa sighs, rubbing her hand over her eyes in frustration.

 

‘For the love of God will you sit down before you wear a hole in the carpet.’ Vanessa snaps. ‘Last month you begged me to help you. Well this is going to help you.’

 

Charity sits down beside Vanessa, resting her elbows on her knees. It’s only then that Vanessa realises her hands are shaking. She reaches over and takes them in her own, rubbing her thumbs over Charity’s knuckles.

 

‘Charity...you didn’t even go to Sarah’s funeral. You need to go and see her. For you. But for Debs too.’

 

***

 

Charity kneels down, groaning slightly against her protesting knees and the bitter cold. Reaching out, she runs her fingers gently over the engraving in the stone. Swallowing the lump in her throat she places the flowers she brought with her on the ground. Her breath hangs around her in the cold air like mist as she tries to remain composed, but it’s not long until there are tears running down her cheeks. She feels her knees getting wet where the moisture of the ground is seeping through her jeans but she can’t bring herself to move.

 

‘Charity...’

 

Vanessa shuffles closer behind her but Charity holds out a hand that stops her in her tracks.

 

‘Don’t...I’m ok.’

 

Charity wipes her tears before reaching out again to touch Sarah’s name. When she starts talking Vanessa wanders off to give her some privacy, not going too far though in case she’s needed. She’s hovering near the entrance when there’s a tap on her shoulder and she turns to see Debbie.

 

‘Didn’t know you were coming today.’

 

Vanessa looks around awkwardly, unsure what she should do. Debbie notices immediately that something is amiss, frowning and looking past Vanessa. It doesn’t take her long to notice Charity.

 

‘Is she...did you get her to come here?’

 

Vanessa nods, placing a comforting hand on Debbie’s arm.

 

‘She’s ready now. She’s healing.’

 

Debbie allows a small smile, wiping a lone tear away.

 

‘She has you to thank for that you know? I’m glad you didn’t give up on her.’

 

The two women share a hug, Debbie walking backwards as she motions towards her car.

 

‘I’ll come back later. Let her have this time.’

 

Vanessa nods and gives a little wave, waiting until Debbie is driving off before making her way back over to Charity. When she’s close enough to see that Charity is no longer talking and just staring at the gravestone, she coughs lightly to signal her closeness.

 

Charity stands and allows Vanessa to wrap an arm around her waist. Leaning into her, Charity rests her head on the top of Vanessa’s as they both look upon Sarah’s grave.

 

‘You were right Ness. You were right.’

 

***

 

It’s a week later when she sees _him_. She’s in Hotten doing some shopping with Vanessa and all of a sudden he’s in front of her with that smug grin on his face she’s seen in far too many nightmares. It’s the first time she’s seen him since the court case. Since he called her a dirty whore and walked away hand in hand with his deluded wife. She feels Vanessa tense up beside her and start to step in front of her but Charity gently grabs her elbow and pulls her back.

 

‘Babe no. I’ve got this.’

 

She wraps an arm around Vanessa’s shoulders and kisses her on the temple. Taking a deep breath, she musters up the most withering glare she can come up with, looking Bails up and down like something she fished out of a blocked toilet.

 

‘May we help you?’

 

Bails tries to make himself tall, tries to make himself look intimidating but Charity just looks at him with such disinterest that his swagger falters.

 

‘I see you’re still playing at being a dyke then.’

 

Although the word annoys her, and Charity can feel how much it annoys Vanessa in the way she squeezes her hand, she doesn’t let it show. She simply waves her other hand in the air and rolls her eyes.

 

‘Bisexual actually. But yes. I am still _playing_ at it, as you so eloquently put it.’

 

Bails scoffs, and steps into Charity’s personal space in an attempt to make her shrink away, but it doesn’t work. With her heels on, she’s almost as tall as him and she coolly stares him down until he finally takes a step back.

 

‘Was there anything else?’

 

Bails is absolutely taken aback by Charity’s complete and utter lack of interest in him. Deep down she’s a quivering mess, but Vanessa beside her clutching her hand like a lifeline is enough to get her through this conversation with her act intact. Charity makes a show of inspecting her nails, even going so far as to tap her foot on the ground until eventually Bails just scowls and begins to walk away. Charity waits until his back is turned before shouting after him.

 

‘I want to thank you, you know.’

 

Bails turns, a confused look on his face. So Charity ploughs on before she loses her nerve.

 

‘If you hadn’t put me through all that, I wouldn’t be where I am now. And I wouldn’t have Ryan. Who you will NEVER know. So thank you. Now toddle on won’t you.’

 

Charity wafts her hand in the general direction Bails has started to walk and doesn’t even wait to see his reaction before turning and practically dragging Vanessa away with her. She waits until they’re round the corner before slumping onto a nearby bench and letting out a shuddering breath.

 

‘Charity that was...’

 

Vanessa stalls searching for the right word, Charity looking up at her with wide eyes.

 

‘Stupid? Reckless? Petty?’

 

Vanessa sits down beside Charity, takes one of her hands in her own and leans forward to gently kiss her.

 

‘Brave. That was so so brave.’

 

***

 

Vanessa walks through her front door whilst staring down at her phone. She’s half way through the living room before she notices she’s not alone. Charity is sat on her couch looking around nervously and biting her lip.

 

‘Who let you in?’

 

Charity cocks an eyebrow with a cheeky smirk, holding up what looks suspiciously like Tracy’s key in her hand. Her cockiness fades back into nervousness at Vanessa’s lack of enthusiasm though.

 

‘Babe don’t be mad yeah? I wanted to do something, you know, _nice_.’ Charity pulls a face like the concept is something completely alien to her. ‘And you know how Paddy just loves to interrupt so I thought-‘

 

Charity’s silenced by Vanessa’s finger on her lips as she leans over the back of the couch.

 

‘What have you done?’ Vanessa replaces her finger with her lips, kissing Charity softly. When she pulls back Charity is grinning like a child, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.

 

‘Right well first, if you go upstairs you’ll find a nice bath and a glass of the finest wine the Woolie has to offer. I even paid for it this time.’

 

Vanessa holds her hand to her heart in mock horror as Charity wiggles her eyebrows. Stealing another quick kiss Vanessa wanders upstairs. Charity can hear her pottering around, the thud of boots and clothes hitting the floor. She makes herself busy arranging the living room how she wants it; candles and flowers expertly placed and lights turned down low. By the time Vanessa comes back downstairs she’s just putting their dinner onto dishes and she ushers Vanessa into a chair where she pours her a glass of wine.

 

‘Charity you didn’t have to do all this.’

 

Vanessa protests but Charity can tell by her eyes that she’s enjoying all the fuss. It pulls at Charity’s heart that Vanessa is so unused to this kind of behaviour from her, and in that moment she makes a silent vow to herself to do this more often.

 

‘You’re worth it babe.’

 

Vanessa blushes, so Charity reaches across and takes her hand. They stay like that for the remainder of the meal, both making do with chopping their food one handed with their fork. It makes Charity feel like a love struck teenager, but the most shocking part of that is that she doesn’t mind one bit. Every time Vanessa looks over at her then shyly back down at her food when she’s caught, it sends butterflies storming around her stomach.

 

When the meal is eaten, they move to the couch and start watching a film. Charity worries about refilling their glasses with more wine, until Vanessa catches her hand and tugs her down onto the cushion beside her with a mumble about leaving the bottle on the coffee table. She lets Vanessa pull her into a half lying down position with her arms around her. Suddenly the film is the last thing on her mind. It’s been weeks since they’ve been this close to each other. They haven’t even shared a bed since before everything started falling apart around them. Vanessa had wanted to take things slowly so Charity has respected that.

 

‘You’re stiff as a board. Relax will you and stop over thinking this.’

 

It’s almost like Vanessa can read Charity’s mind, but it helps, and she relaxes into Vanessa’s embrace. They’re about fifteen minutes into the film when she feels Vanessa’s fingers stroking her neck. There’s gentle pressure urging her to turn her head, so she duly obliges, only to have the question on the tip of her tongue immediately swallowed by a kiss. Charity can’t help the moan that escapes her at the contact. They’ve kissed recently but it’s been chaste, nothing as passionate as this. She feels like her heart might beat out of her chest when Vanessa slips her hands under the bottom of her shirt to caress the smooth skin of her back.

 

‘Stay with me tonight.’

 

It’s whispered against her lips, Vanessa barely pulling back long enough to get the sentence out never mind waiting for an answer before they’re kissing again. It’s the thud of Charity’s blazer hitting the floor after being wrestled off her arms that finally brings some sense into her and she leans back against the far arm of the couch breathing heavily.

 

‘Are you sure?’

 

Vanessa smiles, nodding and following Charity to the other side of the couch to steal another kiss.

 

‘Charity just shut up and kiss me.’

 

Charity allows herself to sink into the kiss for a moment before pulling away again.

 

‘I have one more part to the evening. Close your eyes.’

 

At Vanessa’s sceptical look Charity rolls her eyes.

 

‘I’m not going to give you a wet willy or anything Vanessa. Just close your eyes.’

 

Vanessa does as she’s told and can hear rummaging for a few moments until something incredibly cold touches her chest, causing her to yelp and jerk backwards. She opens her eyes to see Charity holding a stethoscope that’s definitely been liberated from the vets.

 

‘Er, Charity when I suggested playing vets and hamsters all those months ago it was a joke yeah?’

 

Charity rolls her eyes and holds the stethoscope up between them like it should be obvious what she’s doing. At Vanessa’s blank look she becomes a little more nervous, dropping it into her lap and fiddling with the ends.

 

‘I uh...oh for Christ sake why is this so hard.’ Charity takes a deep breath and looks Vanessa square in the eye. ‘The last few weeks...you’ve saved me Ness. To quote a bloody good film, you’ve saved me in every way a person can be saved.’

 

Vanessa laughs along with Charity. She’s well used to Charity using humour to deflect a serious conversation. It’s one of the things she loves the most about her.

 

‘I mean you’ve been saving me since I’ve known you. But I wouldn’t have got through...everything...without you. I’d still be at the business end of a bottle of whisky.’

 

Vanessa smiles, grabbing one of Charity’s hands in her own. She keeps quiet though, knowing better than to interrupt Charity on a rare occasion she talks about feelings.

 

‘I once said I’d fight for you. And I forgot how to do that for a while. But you helped me remember. And now it’s all I ever want to do. So what I was doing was...well, I was checking to see if I had mended your heart wasn’t I.’

 

Charity sees the moment Vanessa realises what she’s doing. What she said all those weeks ago. Her eyes widen. Her breath quickens. And when Vanessa reaches out to take the stethoscope from her lap, Charity can see her hands visibly shaking. Vanessa leans back, placing the ear pieces in her own ears, then holding the other end over her heart. She waits for a second, head cocked to the side as of contemplating. When she seems satisfied she switches the ear pieces to Charity’s ears, but doesn’t move the other end from where it’s sitting on her chest.

 

‘What do you think? It seems fine to me’

 

There’s a moment of silence where both women contemplate the meaning behind Vanessa’s words. Finally Charity can’t stand it any longer.

 

‘I love you Vanessa. I love you so much.’

 

And then she lurches forward, kissing Vanessa for all she’s worth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	22. Chapter Twenty Two: Desperate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Desperate

It starts before they’ve even left the house. Charity whispers in Vanessa’s ear that she’s not wearing any underwear. She walks out the front door chuckling, leaving Vanessa to shake that image from her head and jog to catch up with her. Once they’re in the bar, Charity takes it up a notch by rolling the olive from her drink around her tongue, all the while holding eye contact with Vanessa. All Vanessa can do is stare dumbly with her mouth hanging open, until Charity reaches over and closes it for her.

 

‘Careful babe. Wind changes you’ll stay like that.’

 

Charity smirks, knowing it’ll only wind Vanessa up even further. And she’s proven right not a second later.

 

‘You were bored today weren’t you. That’s why you’re messing with me now.’

 

Charity adopts her practiced shocked face, even going so far as to look around her like Vanessa could have been talking to somebody else.

 

‘I’m just enjoying flirting with my girlfriend babe.’

 

Vanessa scoffs, taking a sip of her drink before pointing accusingly at Charity.

 

‘You aren’t flirting. You’re toying.’

 

Charity eases round the tall table they’re currently standing at, reaching out and pulling Vanessa against her as soon as she’s within reach. A smug grin of satisfaction covers her face when Vanessa lets out a small moan. Vanessa is well used to this game by now. They’ll say they’re going for a drink. But Charity will last barely fifteen minutes before being unable to keep her hands off Vanessa and wanting to take her home. Not for the first time, Vanessa wonders how they ever even make it out the bedroom. Charity is insatiable. Not that she’s complaining.

 

‘Is it really that bad I just want to have you on every available surface at any given moment?’

 

Charity backs up her point by trailing a single finger from Vanessa’s neck, all the way down between her breasts, not stopping until it’s dangerously low on her stomach. Vanessa is trembling so badly she has to put her pint down on the table before it ends up all over the floor. She glances at Charity who is standing barely a hair’s width away, smirking at her in that annoyingly knowing way she has when she knows she’s getting to Vanessa. Vanessa tries to glare daggers at her girlfriend but she’s so flustered it comes out more pained and only serves to widen Charity’s grin as she leans in even closer.

 

‘What’s the matter babe? You look...’ Charity lets her lips brush against Vanessa’s ear as she speaks. ‘...flushed.’

 

‘Charity...’

 

It’s said in that tone of voice that Vanessa reserves for when she’s particularly exasperated at her, but Charity can tell by the flush of her cheeks and the way she slowly swallows that Vanessa is as equally turned on as she is annoyed.

 

‘What babe?’

 

Charity slides a hand around Vanessa’s waist, letting it rest dangerously low before leaning in and taking an earlobe into her mouth and sucking hard. Suddenly Vanessa pushes away from her, rattling the table they are standing at as she takes a giant step backwards. A few people in the bar turn and look at them, but their attention is short lived before hey all go back to their conversations.

 

Charity grins and reaches out a hand to Vanessa but it’s batted away before she can make contact.

 

‘Don’t touch me.’

 

Charity scowls but reaches out again. This time Vanessa allows herself to be pulled back in.

 

‘You’ve been teasing me since before we even left. Take me home Charity. _Now_.’

 

Vanessa is expecting Charity to drag her out of the bar but instead she stands there smirking.

 

‘Oh no babe. You aren’t getting off that easy.’ Charity leans in so only Vanessa can hear her. ‘ _Quite_ _literally_.’

 

Charity eases Vanessa down into a booth behind them. They’re in the back of the bar so it’s as secluded as they’re going to get but Charity does a quick scan anyway to make sure nobody is watching them. Everybody is too focused on their own group, she notes with satisfaction. Reaching over, she slides a hand over Vanessa’s bare knee, going higher and higher until Vanessa grabs her hand suddenly in a death grip.

 

‘Charity. If you tease me for another second I’m liable to take you right here.’

 

Charity raises her eyebrows at that, glancing around the room as she contemplates if that could realistically happen. While her attention is distracted, Vanessa downs the rest of her pint then drags Charity out the bar before she can even think about resisting.

 

‘You’re pretty strong for such a tiny lady aren’t you?’

 

When Vanessa spins round she’s already got her phone out to dial a taxi, and she points it accusingly at Charity as it rings.

 

‘I’ll show you tiny once we’re home.’

 

Charity’s laugh is silenced by Vanessa kissing her, and they continue to kiss at the side of the road until the taxi arrives. There’s a few other people out and about who whistle at them or shout comments. Vanessa silences them all with a death glare, Charity even having to hold her back from one particularly drunk man.

 

Once they’re in the taxi, Charity has barely managed to get out their destination before Vanessa is kissing her again.

 

‘Far be it from to turn you down babe...’ Charity pushes Vanessa back gently by her shoulders. ‘But you have to wait until we get home.’

 

Vanessa crosses her arms over her chest and huffs. Charity can’t help but smile, in that moment she reminds her so much of Johnny when he doesn’t get his own way.

 

The taxi driver signals their arrival at home and Vanessa flings twenty quid at him before dragging Charity out the taxi and into her house. Charity allows Vanessa to pull her upstairs, enjoying the feeling of her hands everywhere all at once. They don’t even stop to turn on any lights, having done this so often they could make the journey from front door to bed with their eyes closed.

 

It’s only when they crash down onto the bed, a tangle of limbs and even the strap of Vanessa’s bag that she hasn’t bothered to take off that either of them stop to breathe. Vanessa starts tugging at Charity’s clothes, but Charity is too quick, grabbing her wrists and pinning them above her head.

 

‘I don’t think so babe.’

 

‘Charity please.’ Vanessa whines and squirms. ‘I might actually explode if you don’t touch me soon.’

 

Charity smirks, loosening her grip just the right amount to allow Vanessa to think she might be able to get free if she wriggles enough. There’s something about having the other woman trapped beneath her that Charity loves. It’s not that she likes holding Vanessa down. It’s the absolute _trust_ she sees in Vanessa’s eyes when she does. Like she knows that whatever Charity decides to do, she’s going to enjoy it.

 

‘Charity...’

 

Vanessa whines again, bucking her hips up against Charity insistently.

 

‘Beg.’ Charity leans down, whispering hotly in Vanessa’s ear. ‘Beg for it.’

 

Vanessa bites her lip. Her instinct tells her not to beg, she should be able to entice Charity into touching her without resorting to that. But she’s been on the edge since the moment they left the house, and having Charity touch her is literally all she can think about right now.

 

‘God Charity. Please.’ Vanessa pleads desperately. ‘Please touch me. Please.’

 

Charity grins against Vanessa’s skin as she makes her way down her girlfriend’s body, the battle won.


	23. Twenty Three: Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by an anon

Vanessa is woken up so suddenly that it takes a moment for her to get her bearings. Gradually the silhouettes of the furniture in Charity’s bedroom comes into focus and she lies still as she tries to figure out what woke her up. She doesn’t have to wait long, a low moan coming from Charity a few inches away from her. Vanessa rolls over, squinting against the darkness and the tiredness in her eyes.

 

‘Charity?’

 

Her voice comes out as a whisper, not wanting to startle Charity if she’s still soundly asleep. Now that her eyes have begun adjusting to the darkness she can see that Charity has twisted the covers around her legs and her skin is clammy, her t shirt clinging to her stomach where it’s become damp. Another moan comes from Charity as well as some undecipherable moaning, but her voice sounds strained, so Vanessa resolves to wake her gently.

 

‘Charity...’ she runs a finger across Charity’s brow. ‘Wake up.’

 

Her touch only seems to agitate Charity more, who thrashes around for a moment before shouting ‘No’ loudly. Vanessa winces, hoping the sound hasn’t woken Moses and Johnny. The last thing she needs is to deal with putting them back to bed as well as this.

 

‘Charity.’

 

She says it as loud as she dares without risking waking the boys, but it has no effect. Charity continues wriggling against the covers. Vanessa tries to pull them off her but they’re too tangled. By now Charity seems too distressed, moaning and whimpering almost constantly, and it upsets Vanessa sufficiently into taking more drastic action. She knows she probably shouldn’t, but she grabs Charity’s hand closest to her and squeezes it, hard.

 

‘Charity. Wake up.’

 

Charity’s eyes fly open, but there’s no recognition in them. Every night they spend together, Vanessa usually wakes up in the morning to see Charity gazing at her with a loving look. It’s one of their rituals that she loves the most, because it’s only for her. One of those things that nobody else knows about Charity that she gets to keep for herself. Right now though, the only thing she sees is fear. Charity looks terrified. She opens her mouth to try and comfort her but Charity yells out and then promptly hits her on the side of the face with her free hand. Vanessa closes her eyes against the shock of the blow and the momentary dizziness. When she opens them, Charity has scrabbled back against the headboard. Her knees are up against her chest with her forehead resting on them and she’s whimpering now.

 

‘Are you ok?’

 

Finally Charity looks up and seems to recognise her. A look of confusion crosses her face before relief at seeing her and she reaches out with a shaking hand to trace a finger across Vanessa’s face, who flinches away from the instant pain.

 

‘Ness? Oh God, did I do that?’

 

Vanessa rubs the side of her face and winces in pain, but she drops her hand immediately at the absolute guilt that laces Charity’s voice.

 

‘What, this? Barely touched me.’

 

The lie comes easily. Her face is throbbing but the last thing Charity needs right now is guilt over that. She takes Charity’s hand, scooching up the bed to sit beside her and wrap an arm around her shoulders.

 

‘You were having a nightmare. Are you ok?’

 

Charity sniffles and shakes her head, leaning further into Vanessa’s embrace.

 

‘It was about...you know. Him. Spose the trial coming up is messing with me head.’

 

Vanessa tightens her grip around Charity and slouches them down so they’re in more of a lying down position. Charity buries her head in her neck and Vanessa traces comforting patterns on her back until she feels her breathing evening out into sleep again. For the rest of the night, Vanessa doesn’t sleep at all. She lays there clutching Charity in her arms, listening out for the slightest sign of a nightmare returning. By the time it’s light and Charity is waking up to take in the drinks delivery, Vanessa is already up and dressed and trying in vain to hide the large bruise and swelling covering the side of her face. She’s not doing a great job though, and Charity’s face falls the moment she sees the damage.

 

‘Ness, I’m so sorry.’

 

She slumps down onto the edge of the bed looking so crestfallen that Vanessa immediately drops the makeup brush and comes to kneel on the floor before her.

 

‘Charity this wasn’t your fault.’

 

Charity shakes her head, completely unconvinced. She reaches forward and caresses Vanessa’s jaw with her thumb.

 

‘I hurt you. _Again_. I’m no better than him.’

 

Vanessa leans up, bringing Charity into a kiss before resting their foreheads together.

 

‘You listen to me Charity Dingle. I know you would never hurt me on purpose. So put that idea right out your head alright?’

 

The conviction in Vanessa’s voice reassures Charity. It scares her really, how quickly and easily Vanessa can allay all of her fears. Sometimes only with a look. It scares her, but it doesn’t half comfort her too, so she reluctantly nods.

 

‘I need to go open the pub. See you later?’

 

***

 

Later that day Vanessa is sitting in the pub waiting for Tracy. She’s sipping on a pint when she hears her sister come clambering in, multiple bags hanging off her arms. Vanessa puts her pint down, preparing for the inevitable conversation that’s about to happen.

 

‘Hey V. Sorry I’m late I-‘ Vanessa winces, she’s not even looking at Tracy and she can tell the moment she sees her face due to the sound of multiple shopping bags hitting the floor. ‘Vanessa what HAPPENED?’

 

Tracy’s at her side in seconds, grabbing her face less than gently and twisting her head from side to side in order to get a better view. Through the day the swelling has gone down a little bit the bruise is now turning a deep shade of purple. Vanessa bats Tracy’s hands away, leaning backwards and scowling at her.

 

‘Never mind that. What have you bought?’

 

‘Well, I got...no wait. Don’t distract me. What happened V?’

 

Vanessa swallows, torn between telling the truth and coming up with a lie. The decision is taken out of her hands though when Charity picks that moment to come out into the bar. Tracy looks between them, before resting her gaze on Charity and glaring.

 

‘YOU. Did you do this?’

 

A panicked look appears on Charity’s face as Tracy stalks towards her. She retreats further and further to maintain the distance, until her back is against the wall and Tracy is right into her personal space.

 

‘She stayed here last night. Did you do this to her?’

 

Charity looks anywhere but directly at Tracy, biting her lip and looking like a terrified animal that wants to flee. Vanessa finally finds her feet and follows them over. She puts a hand on Tracy’s arm but it’s shaken off without her sister even taking notice of her.

 

‘Tracy. Calm down will you. She didn’t-‘

 

‘Yes. It was me.’

 

The anger that flares in Tracy’s eyes fills even Vanessa with slight trepidation, and Charity looks positively terrified. Vanessa’s had enough though, and muscles her away between the two women before it escalates further.

 

‘ENOUGH Tracy. This was an accident. Charity didn’t do anything wrong. Now buy me another pint or get off home.’

 

Tracy doesn’t move an inch, her gaze set squarely on Charity like she’s expecting some sort of explanation. Vanessa moves to manhandle her out the pub but Charity stops her.

 

‘I was having a nightmare. I didn’t realise what I was doing. I hate that it happened. I’m sorry Tracy.’

 

Vanessa releases a breath she didn’t even realise she was holding when Tracy finally nods and her face softens. Tracy and Charity are two of the most stubborn people Vanessa has ever met and she’s fully prepared to have to break up a fight. But she relaxes when it seems that danger might have passed. Tracy glares once more in Charity’s direction but it’s not as venom filled as it was before. She scoops up her bags, mutters something about a bottle of wine back at home and struts out the pub without another word. When she’s gone, Vanessa turns her attention to Charity who still looks like she might flee at any given moment.

 

‘Bloody terrifying is your sister.’

 

 

 

 

 


	24. Twenty Four: Desperate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Desperate
> 
> Sorry for the delay on this one. It was my birthday and then I went to Leeds Pride (yes I saw Michelle and yes I turned into an incoherent mess of gibberish at the sight of her). *sigh* um, where were we? Oh yeah, so I’ve been recovering from all that. Hope you guys like this. It was requested but Alice. Kind of. Not at all really. But it’s a consolation for being unable to do what she did ask for.

‘Paddy! Bloody hurry up will you!’

 

Charity bangs on the bathroom door, hopping from foot to foot. She hears rattling and the sound of something hitting the floor. The door opens a few inches and Paddy’s red face appears in the gap.

 

‘You aren’t...you aren’t helping Charity.’ At Charity’s glare Paddy positively balks. ‘What I mean is, I’ll only be a little while longer.’

 

Paddy holds up his finger and thumb about a centimetre apart. Charity shakes her head and lets out a noise of frustration as the door closes again in her face. When Chas comes strolling out into the hall she points at her accusingly.

 

‘You. You brought this bumbling idiot of a man into our house. And now I’m going to pee all over the floor if he doesn’t get his arse out of there soon.’

 

Chas smirks, leaning against the doorframe of Charity’s bedroom. At the same time, Vanessa opens the door from inside and pokes her head out. The two women smile at each other before Vanessa’s gaze is drawn towards Charity pacing back and forth.

 

‘What’s all the commotion?’

 

Charity abruptly bends over, whining out Paddy’s name. Vanessa shares a smirk with Chas as she comes out into the hallway to get a better look. Charity notices the interaction, pointing between the two of them accusingly.

 

‘Revelling in my despair are you? Just you wait Chas. Next time you want someone to get up early to meet the delivery you can whistle. And YOU.’ Charity rounds on Vanessa. ‘You can think on if you expect me to do that thing with my-‘

 

‘La la laaaaa Charity!’

 

Chas interrupts, placing a hand over Charity’s mouth. It means Charity is distracted enough so that when Paddy finally leaves the bathroom, Chas has enough time to sneak in there before she notices the room is vacant.

 

‘Sorry! Blame Margarita, she’s lying on my bladder!’

 

Charity stands in the hallway, mouth hanging open as she stares in shock at the now closed bathroom door.

 

‘The little...oh sod this I’m going in the ones in the pub.’

 

She’s halfway across the landing when she feels a hand on her elbow pulling her back. Suddenly Vanessa is in front of her, one eyebrow raised and arms folded across her chest.

 

‘Charity the pub is already open.’

 

Charity waves her hands in the air in an exasperated fashion.

 

‘Ten out of ten for observational skills Ness. Your point is?’

 

Vanessa’s eyebrow quirks even higher it’s a wonder it’s not jumped off her head. She gives Charity a pointed look, waiting for the realisation to come. When it doesn’t immediately click with Charity, she reaches forward and snaps the elastic on her underwear.

 

‘I don’t mind the view but I think Jimmy might choke on his pint if you go down there like that.’

 

Charity looks down at herself and rolls her eyes, having forgotten she’s been prancing around in her underwear. Just then the bathroom door opens and Chas comes out rubbing her belly with a satisfied grin on her face. She opens her mouth ready to make some sort of sarcastic comment to Charity when Marlon comes bounding up the stairs and into the bathroom without a word.

 

‘Oh you have GOT to be kidding me!’

 

Charity starts banging on the door, until Vanessa catches her wrist.

 

‘Charity don’t you think you’re over reacting slightly?’

 

Charity rounds on Vanessa and fixes her with a glare that wipes the smile off her face and has her stepping back a couple of steps.

 

‘You must have a death-wish Vanessa Woodfield.’

 

Vanessa’s eyes widen and she takes one large step forward into Charity’s personal space.

 

‘Uh, what I meant to say was...you’re gorgeous and sexy and I love you?’

 

Charity cocks her head to one side as she pretends to think about that. She even taps a finger on her chin, before nodding and resuming her tirade against the bathroom door.

 

‘You know, if we lived together at yours I wouldn’t have this problem anymore.’

 

The bathroom door opens at exactly the moment Charity speaks, so she’s already dashing past a sheepish looking Marlon by the time Vanessa realises what she’s said. When Charity’s finished a few minutes later, Vanessa is still stood in exactly the same spot staring at her with wide eyes.

 

‘Do you...I mean, did you just invite yourself to move in with me?’

 

Charity saunters over to Vanessa, wrapping one arm around her shoulders and leaning in for a quick kiss.

 

‘Just the bladder talking babe. Was desperate wasn’t I.’

 

Vanessa frowns, and tries to pull away from Charity. ‘Charity, that’s-‘ A finger lands on Vanessa’s lips, shushing her.

 

‘Relax babe, I’m joking. I want my toothbrush and my slippers and everything else at yours. Every day.’

 

Vanessa’s smile is so big it warms Charity’s heart. They kiss again, Vanessa hugging Charity tightly.

 

‘Weren’t hoping for a big romantic gesture were you?’

 

Vanessa shakes her head against Charity’s chest, placing a soft kiss against her neck.

 

‘No...no. This was very you. Now, about that thing you do with your tongue...’

 


	25. Twenty Five: Insecure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Insecure
> 
> exmerdxle Requested a fic about their first ‘I love you’. This isn’t really happy but it ticks the I love you box I guess. Anyway I hope you like it!

Vanessa is confused. They’ve just left the courthouse. The verdict is still running over and over in her head. The fact they’ve even got a verdict already is a surprise in itself. Charity had been last to give evidence, just before lunch. And less than two hours later they were being called back.

 

_Guilty_.

 

She doesn’t know how long that monster is going to be put away for. She’d love to know, but as soon as the word guilty had rang out across the room, Charity had lurched out of her seat and fled.

 

So this is why Vanessa is now confused. She’s no slouch in a race, not that she ever has to participate in any. But years of having to chase unruly sheep around a variety of fields means she’s aware of her speed and agility. Charity however, Charity would presumably give Usain Bolt a run for his money, because Vanessa hadn’t even hesitated when following her girlfriend out of the court, hot on her heels, and yet here she is stood out the back and Charity is already nowhere to be seen. She knows she can’t be driving because her car is still sat in the car park. And she knows she didn’t go out the front, because the last thing Charity wants today is a load of reporters shoving cameras and tape recorders in her face. She’d said as much as they had arrived earlier in the day.

 

So with a huge sigh, Vanessa returns back into the court and spies Chas loitering around with a concerned look on her face. It had just been the three of them today. Charity hadn’t wanted the rest of her family here to hear all the gory details when she was giving evidence. It had been a battle allowing even her and Chas to come with her today. It had taken Chas having a few words with Charity in private before she had grudgingly allowed the two of them to accompany her. Vanessa doesn’t want to dwell on that though. The lawyers had made Charity go into a lot more detail than she’d ever gone into with Vanessa. Things that had turned Vanessa’s stomach at the thought of Charity having to do as a child. But right now she needs to focus on finding her girlfriend.

 

‘I take it you didn’t manage to catch her then?’

 

The sound of Chas’ voice brings Vanessa out of her musings and she allows her shoulders to slump as Chas guides her down into a seat. She shakes her head, picking at a loose thread on her jacket.

 

‘She won’t answer her phone either.’

 

The two women sit in silence as the rest of the courtroom empties out. After a few minutes they wordlessly slip out the back and Chas offers to drive Charity’s car back to the pub. Vanessa is reluctant to leave, until Chas points out that the last place Charity will be is hanging around here. When they arrive back at the pub, the place is deserted. Only Victoria is behind the bar and there aren’t any customers. Vanessa trudges out the back, staring down at her phone as she walks through the house and up to Charity’s room from memory, willing a text to appear on her phone. She’s half way into the room, hand on the door knob when she notices her. The curtains are drawn, even with the bright sunshine outside it’s still quite dark in the room. Vanessa lets out a small sigh of relief, until she notices the half empty bottle of whiskey on the bed.

 

‘You know you don’t need to ply me with whisky for a quick squeeze anymore.’

 

She keeps her voice light, reaching over and taking a swig out of the bottle. Charity allows herself a smile for a few seconds before the frown reappears back on her face. Vanessa sits down next to her and offers the bottle back, which she takes without hesitation and takes a large gulp.

 

‘After what you heard in there, I don’t think there’s enough whisky in the world to get you to agree to a bunk up again yeah?’

 

Vanessa frowns, suddenly realising why Charity isn’t filled with joy at the verdict. She gently takes the bottle out of her hands, stashing it on the bedside table. Placing her hands on Charity’s knees, she pushes them apart until there’s a gap large enough to kneel in. Her hands run up the outside of Charity’s thighs, coming to rest on her waist and giving a little squeeze. Then Vanessa leans forward, bending her head at an awkward angle to force Charity to make eye contact with her.

 

‘I’m in for the duration remember?’

 

Charity laughs, but it’s entirely humourless, and shakes her head.

 

‘It’s over now. And you know the whole grisly truth. So you can go now.’

 

She tries to pull away from Vanessa but makes it barely an inch before hands are squeezing her waist gently. When she’s sure Charity isn’t going to bolt, she releases her hold and takes Charity’s hands in her own. Leaning down she gently places a kiss on first one palm, then the other.

 

‘I love your hands.’

 

Vanessa turns both of Charity’s hands over and kisses the back of them too. She pushes Charity gently backwards, ignoring the confused look on her face, until she’s laying down on the bed with her legs dangling over the edge. Leaning forward, she lifts up the bottom of Charity’s shirt and peppers small kisses over the exposed skin.

 

‘I love your stomach.’

 

She moves further up, climbing onto the bed fully and straddling Charity. A moment hangs between them as they simply stare at each other. This version of Charity, self conscious and unsure of herself, makes Vanessa’s heart ache. Sometimes she wonders if she should be doing more to show Charity how much she loves her. It would hardly be a chore after all. But she’s never wanted to smother her, preferring instead to offer just the right amount of affection to entice Charity into chasing more. And it’s always worked. Vanessa can tell this is different now though. Right now requires a declaration, and she’s happy to give it. Leaning forward she presses a firm kiss to Charity’s neck, pleased when she lets out a small moan.

 

‘I love your neck.’

 

Leaving one more kiss on her pulse point, she plants both hands either side of Charity’s head and leans down so their faces are mere inches apart. When Charity opens her mouth to speak, Vanessa cuts her off by kissing her hard. Charity responds immediately, her body betraying her current mood and arching up into Vanessa. Like it always seems to do of it’s own accord whenever they are close enough.

 

‘I love your lips.’ Vanessa pulls back just enough to whisper against them. ‘And, I love you.’

 

Charity doesn’t say anything, kissing her again and rolling them over so that she’s on top. When they break apart they’re both breathing heavily. Charity reaches out and traces a thumb over Vanessa’s eyebrow, down her cheek and over her lips. Vanessa can tell she wants to say those words back, but they’re getting stuck at the back of her throat. She reaches up and tangled her hands in Charity’s hair, pulling her close to rest their foreheads together.

 

‘What you had to do, what I heard today...you did that to survive. And I am SO glad you survived Charity. I will NEVER think any less of you because of anything you did to get to this point. I love you. All of you.’

 

There are tears in Charity’s eyes as she nods and buries her face in Vanessa’s neck. Vanessa wraps her arms around Charity’s back and pulls her tightly against her own body. She releases a shaky breath when she feels Charity rest her lips against the soft skin underneath her ear and relax into the embrace. And then finally, _finally_ she hears the words she’s been longing to hear for months, whispered into her ear.

 

‘I love you Ness.’

 

 


	26. Twenty Six: Relief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Relief
> 
> This can be a partner to chapter 9, Panic. Roles reversed.

‘Vanessa Woodfield, where is she?’

 

Charity slams into the desk with such force half of her body carries on over the top and she almost ends up face planting the startled nurse on the other side.

 

‘I’m sorry only family can know information about patients. And you are?’

 

It’s like the nurse is gaining pleasure out of winding Charity up. She’s been here so much recently she’s pretty sure the nurse must recognise her.

 

‘Charity Dingle.’ She grits her teeth. ‘Where’s Vanessa Woodfield?’ Then plasters on a false smile. ‘Please.’

 

The nurse twirls a biro between her fingers as she looks Charity up and down with a look of pure disdain.

 

‘ _You’re_ family?’

 

Charity lets out a noise of frustration and slaps her hands down on the counter. A boy sitting nearby with a bloodied nose jumps in his chair at the unexpected noise but she can’t find it in herself to feel guilty.

 

‘I’m her bloody wife alright? Now where is she?’

 

The lie is not even remotely convincing. Charity’s voice wobbles and she doesn’t make eye contact when she says it. Normally she’s a good liar, a great liar in fact, but she’s so sick and panicky right now thinking of all the possible scenarios Vanessa has found herself in that she can’t even think straight.

 

‘You aren’t married to her.’

 

Charity scoffs, intent on at least trying to convince the nurse for a while longer. Tracy is on her way but she’s coming from Leeds and Charity doesn’t think she can wait that long.

 

‘Why?’ She leans over and narrows her eyes. ‘Because I’m a woman?’

 

The nurse plays Charity at her own game, rolling her eyes and sending her a scathing look.

 

‘Because you have a different last name and you aren’t wearing a wedding ring.’

 

Charity opens her mouth, about to give what for when Tracy suddenly comes barrelling into the emergency room and crashes into the reception desk in much the same way Charity did previously.

 

‘Bloody ‘ell Trace how many speed limits did you break to get here this fast?’

 

Tracy glares at her briefly before turning her attention to the nurse and asking for Vanessa. When she reads out the ward number, Charity can’t help but give her a smug look as she follows Tracy over to the lifts. The lift takes forever, and Charity can’t help but press the button multiple times until Tracy reaches over and grabs her wrist.

 

‘That doesn’t make it go any faster you know.’ She snaps. Then immediately softens. ‘She’ll be fine I’m sure.’

 

Charity nods, then gains a withering look from Tracy by pressing the button once more. The lift dings and the doors open and Charity steps in with a smug look on her face. They travel up in silence and as soon as the doors open Charity races off down the corridor without waiting for Tracy. She’s poking her head in room after room looking for Vanessa. Tracy can tell the exact moment she sees her. All the tension immediately leaves Charity’s body and the relief is clearly evident on her face as she bites her lip and looks up to the ceiling. It lasts for about five seconds then she stomps up to Vanessa’s bed and promptly smacks her on the arm.

 

‘You’re awake!’

 

Vanessa is sitting up in bed still wearing her own clothes. They’re smeared with mud though, and her hair is ruffled where a bandage is wrapped tightly around her head. She rubs her arm where Charity has just hit her, looking slightly offended.

 

‘It’s nice to see you too.’

 

Tracy finally catches up and the two sisters share a smile before Vanessa’s attention turns back to Charity.

 

‘What exactly was that for?’

 

Charity perches on the edge of the bed and takes Vanessa’s hand in her own, pointing at her accusingly with the other.

 

‘You had me panicking the whole way here. They said you were unconscious! Trace thought she were Lewis bloody Hamilton getting here.’

 

Vanessa looks between Charity and Tracy with barely disguised amusement. Tracy is smirking and is clearly enjoying this side of Charity, who is looking at Vanessa with a solemn look on her face.

 

‘I was for about five minutes. I’m fine now though.’

 

Charity nods, appearing to calm now she’s been able to see that for herself.

 

‘You need a new job. Or stop hanging around moody cows that might kick you in the head.’

 

‘I sleep in the same bed as you every night though.’

 

Tracy scoffs loudly until Charity shoots her a glare which has her covering her mouth and looking away.

 

‘Should have seen her V. She were proper panicking cause they wouldn’t let her in. Family only.’

 

Vanessa’s eyes soften as she gazes at Charity with a lovestruck expression on her face. Even now after nearly two years of being together, it never fails to make her heart melt at the many ways Charity shows her affection.

 

‘Yeah, so soon as you’re out of here we’re going to need to get married right?’

 

The sentence hangs in the air between them as both Tracy and Vanessa stare at her in shock.

 

‘Did you...did you just propose to me while I’m sat in a hospital bed as a way to get around their visiting policy?’

 

Charity looks at her like she’s just grown a second head and nods.

 

‘Hang on.’ Tracy pipes up. ‘You don’t even have a ring.’

 

‘Aha.’ Charity swivels towards her with her finger in the air. ‘That’s where you’re wrong.’

 

She fumbles in her bag for a moment then pulls out a small box that has Vanessa’s heart pounding. Opening it up, Charity thrusts it in her direction with a nervous look on her face.

 

‘Been waiting for the right moment for a while now. Good a time as any right?’

 

Vanessa chances a glance at Tracy, who is stood with her mouth hanging open staring at the ring like she expects it to grow legs and walk off. When she focuses her attention on Charity she can tell she’s nervous, despite the flippant way the entire proposal was done. She knows it’s not in Charity’s nature to make big romantic declarations, it never has been. For their one year anniversary she bought her a ball of wool for crying out loud. But this, this in Charity code is the declaration to end all declarations. So Vanessa plays it cool, nodding and pointing to the ring.

 

‘Yeah go on. If it’ll save you bother next time I end up in here.’

 


	27. Twenty Seven: Nervous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Nervous
> 
> This is meant to explain the ball of wool anniversary gift in the previous chapter!

‘It’s tomorrow Charity.’

 

Vanessa throws her hands up in the air in frustration as she paces back and forth in the living room at the pub. Charity sits on the couch and watches her as a frown appears on her face.

 

‘Babe are you going senile in your old age? It was February you made me chase you to that bloody gay bar. I know because you were mad at me for not planning anything for Valentine’s Day the week before.’

 

Vanessa stops pacing as she narrows her eyes at Charity.

 

‘I’m _still_ mad about that now.’ Vanessa smirks at the worried look that appears on Charity’s face. ‘Wait hang on. You’re talking about when we officially got together?’

 

Charity frowns and stands up from the couch. Reaching over, she grabs Vanessa by the chin and begins inspecting her face closely.

 

‘Charity what the bloody hell are you doing?’

 

Vanessa leans back out of her grasp, pushing Charity’s hand away but interlinking their fingers so she can’t go far.

 

‘Babe I’m checking to see if you’ve taken another blow to the head. When else would I be referring to? Isn’t that the whole point of an anniversary?’

 

Charity waits for a response from Vanessa but she’s biting her lip and looking nervously at the ground. She’s confused about what’s going on until suddenly it clicks.

 

‘Oh. You mean the first time that we...in the cellar.’

 

Vanessa nods but still won’t make eye contact with her. It makes Charity feel a little guilty. This was how Vanessa used to act when they first started sleeping together. Unsure of herself and of Charity’s reactions to her. Charity hates seeing that now. So she tugs on their hands until they both fall back onto the couch.

 

‘You know...I’m not one for gifts really. But I do know something I can give you. _Multiple_ times. To celebrate this extra anniversary of yours. If you’re interested.’

 

That puts a smile back on Vanessa’s face so Charity considers it a job well done and leans in for a kiss.

 

***

 

The next day, Vanessa is waiting for Charity at home. She’d received a very cryptic text on her lunch break at work demanding she keep her evening free for an ‘anniversary treat’. Charity’s words, not hers. After their conversation the previous night, she’s not expecting much. But it is a child free uninterrupted evening with Charity, so it can’t be all that bad. She’s spent all day getting ready and preparing a nice meal for them. Charity had wanted to take her out but they’ve barely seen each other the last week so if Vanessa is honest, they’ll be in bed within an hour of Charity arriving. As if on cue, Vanessa hears the front door go and quickly checks her make up on her phone camera before standing up to meet Charity by the door. She offers her a kiss and a glass of wine and wanders back to the couch. When Charity doesn’t immediately follow her she looks more closely and notices she’s holding something awkwardly behind her back.

 

‘What are you hiding there?’

 

Charity looks around her nervously like she’s been caught with her hand in the cookie jar, then slowly brings the item to hold out in front of her. Vanessa’s eyes narrow in confusion when she sees it. It’s a gift, badly wrapped in bright yellow wrapping paper. Vanessa thinks it looks like it’s been through the washing machine a few times, all wrinkled and torn at the edges.

 

‘Is that um...is that for me?’

 

Charity rolls her eyes and gestures around her with her free hand.

 

‘No babe, it’s for my other girlfriend. Go on. Open it now.’

 

Vanessa reaches out and takes the gift gingerly, wincing at the way it crinkles in her hand. It’s very light and very soft, and the paper comes apart slightly where Charity hasn’t taped it properly.

 

‘Did you get Moses to wrap this?’

 

Charity smacks her lightly on the arm, adopting an offended demeanour that Vanessa sees right through as purely jesting.

 

‘Hey! It’s the thought that counts right?’

 

Turning it over, Vanessa nods and starts to pull apart the flimsy paper when suddenly it’s yanked out of her hands with no warning whatsoever.

 

‘Yeah maybe this wasn’t a good idea. How about I just repeat last night’s present instead?’

 

Charity is clutching the gift so tightly in her hand it’s a wonder the paper doesn’t come apart.

 

‘You don’t give gifts often do you? _Give_ being the key word. Let me have it. I’m sure it’s fine.’

 

Vanessa grabs it back and Charity shifts from foot to foot with a scowl on her face while Vanessa finally tears apart the paper to reveal a ball of yellow wool.

 

‘Oh.’ There’s no way to hide her confusion. ‘You...you really shouldn’t have.’

 

Charity goes from nervous to anxious in a matter of seconds.

 

‘Because you like knitting yeah? And yellow’s your favourite colour.’

 

Charity nods, pleased with her explanation. And that makes Vanessa smile, because Charity, Charity Dingle who only ever used to do things for herself, has actually put time and thought into a gift for _her_. It may not be the most romantic present in the world but the intentions behind it make her heart thump in her chest. So she drops the wool on the coffee table and pulls Charity into a heated kiss, directing her down onto the couch and climbing into her lap before Charity even has time to react. When she pulls away, all thoughts of dinner have completely fallen out of her head. It can keep in the fridge until later. She looks at Charity, who’s gazing up at her like she’s the only thing in the universe right now. Reaching behind her, she grabs the ball of wool back up and gently taps it against the side of Charity’s head.

 

‘So what shall I make with this?’

 

Charity shrugs her shoulders, mouth too busy on Vanessa’s neck to offer up any suggestions.

 

‘How about I start on those matching sweaters?’

 

It’s said as a joke and she half expects Charity to recoil in horror. But to her surprise, Charity leans back, tucks a lock of her hair behind her ear and then nods. It sends Vanessa’s stomach lurching, the implication of that one little nod. She tangles her hands in Charity’s hair to hide the fact they’re shaking. There aren’t any sentences she trusts herself so say in that moment, so instead she just kisses Charity. She kisses her like her life depends on it.


	28. Twenty Eight: Rage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Rage
> 
> Paola_enigma asked for this. Hope you like it :)

Charity is happy. She’s happier than she’s ever been actually. And the tiny blonde rocket woman currently clinging to her arm is the reason why. Vanessa lights up her world like nobody else ever has. Nobody else has ever wanted to. But Vanessa came along, all yellow and bossiness and straight to the point and turned Charity’s entire world upside down. In fact that’s not right, Charity thinks. Her world _was_ upside down until the moment she kissed Vanessa in the cellar. Then Vanessa turned it the right way up and tidied everything up into place. So that’s why Charity is putting aside her hard faced reputation and is now wandering around a farmers market, clutching a bag full of pork pies in one hand and an ice cream in the other, leaning as far as she can into Vanessa without impeding both their ability to walk in a straight line.

 

‘Oh Charity look, there’s horses.’

 

Charity can’t help but smile at Vanessa’s enthusiasm. She thinks this might be exactly how 13 year old Vanessa was, excited about any and all kinds of animals as she was deciding being a vet was the career for her.

 

‘Babe there’s only room in my life for one daft mare.’

 

Vanessa pushes her but it’s gentle and there’s a smile on her face. She leans over and kisses her softly, nodding towards the horses.

 

‘You go on. I’m just going to find the facilities in this place then I’ll catch you up.’

 

Vanessa nods and strides off towards the animals in the same way Johnny does when they let him loose at the park. It’s cute really, how alike his mother he is. Charity watches her until the pressing in her bladder reminds her of why she didn’t follow in the first place and she gobbles down the rest of her ice cream on the way to the toilets. She’s just turning a corner when she bumps into someone and the apology is half out her mouth when she realises with a sickening feeling who she’s bumped into. Bails.

 

‘Charity.’ The way he says her name always makes her feel worthless. ‘Why am I not surprised to see you here. In a field full of animals. Where you belong.’

 

Charity tries to show no emotion, but it’s difficult. His words don’t hurt as much as they used to, but they still cut. And just seeing his face brings back all the emotions of when she was a teenager.

 

‘Your little girlfriend left you yet?’

 

He leans over her, sneering in her face and she curses herself for moving back involuntarily when it makes a smirk appear on his face.

 

‘No. And she’s not going to. I love her.’

 

Bails laughs in her face, clenching his fists. For one terrifying moment she thinks he might hit her, but then he relaxes his hands again and takes the slightest of steps back.

 

‘You might love her. But nobody could ever love you. You’re worthless. She’ll see that soon enough. When she hears you talking in court about what you enjoyed doing to me every-‘

 

Bails suddenly disappears from Charity’s view, a blur of yellow appearing beside her. When she focuses, she sees Bails on the floor clutching his now bloody nose and Vanessa stood beside her wincing and rubbing her knuckles.

 

‘Finish that sentence. I. Dare. You.’

 

She’s never seen this kind of rage in Vanessa. Vanessa is quite possibly the happiest and bubbliest person she’s ever met. She saves dogs and cats and _chinchillas_ for a living for crying out loud. But when she looks in Vanessa’s eyes right now, there’s a fury there that Charity would not like to be on the end of one bit. And she’s happy to admit that seeing this rage turned towards somebody else in defence of her seriously turns her on.

 

‘I’ll have you done for assaulting a police officer. You little bitch.’

 

Bails is on his feet now, wiping the blood off his face. He isn’t as cocky as he was before though, his wobbly voice betraying his attempt at a menacing posture. Vanessa takes one step towards him with her fist raised again and his eyes widen and he retreats.

 

‘You won’t be a police officer for much longer. So bring it.’

 

At that very moment, Vanessa spots a police officer wandering around the stalls in the distance. She points at him and takes another step toward Bails.

 

‘Go on. Go and report me then.’ When Bails doesn’t move a muscle Vanessa smirks. ‘I didn’t think so. Now, fuck off.’

 

Bails spits a mouthful of blood on the floor, giving both women a dirty look before stalking off in the opposite direction. Vanessa watches him go, her fists balled up and tensed at her side. Charity notices they’re starting to draw a crowd, so she tugs gently on Vanessa’s coat to get her attention. Vanessa swivels round quickly but the second her eyes meet Charity’s all the anger in them immediately disappears and her fists drop limply at her side.

 

‘God Charity I’m SO sorry. I don’t know what came over me, I-mmmmph’

 

Whatever Vanessa was going to say is cut off abruptly by Charity’s lips on hers. Her tongue finds its way inside Vanessa’s mouth in a needy kiss. As quickly as the kiss starts, it finishes, Vanessa aware of the fact there’s still a number of people watching them. Charity caresses her cheek with her thumb so she leans into the touch, closing her eyes briefly at the butterflies just a simple touch can elicit in her.

 

‘Thank you babe. For standing up for me. You’ve got a mean right hook.’

 

Vanessa smiles at that, then winces in pain as she flexes her hand. The knuckles seem swollenand bruised already. Charity gently takes her hand in her own and kisses each knuckle, eyes on Vanessa the whole time.

 

‘Of course I’m going to stand up for you against that monster. I’ve been wanting to do that since that day at the press conference. No Harriet around to stop me this time.’

 

‘THIS time?’ Charity’s mouth falls open in shock. ‘You’ve tried to hit him before?’

 

Vanessa stares at the ground, fidgeting and blushing.

 

‘Uh...I might have gone for him at the press conference after you got carted off by the police. He were proper laying in to you. I wasn’t having that.’

 

Vanessa is half expecting Charity to have a go for more of her meddling. Instead she feels a finger lifting her a chin and when she makes eye contact with Charity she lets out a relieved breath at the sight of her smiling.

 

‘That is so...’ Charity looks her up and down slowly, eyes taking in every inch of Vanessa’s body. ‘Hot.’

 

Vanessa tries to act cool, but she can’t stop the enormous grin that covers her face whenever Charity showers her with attention.

 

‘Yeah?’

 

Charity smiles and nods, linking both their hands together. It’s a little awkward because she’s still carrying the bag of pork pies, which swings in the space between them and knocks against both their legs.

 

‘What do you say we do away with this and take the party back to yours babe?’

 

Charity feels a sudden jerk on her arm and nearly drops the bag of pork pies as she’s unceremoniously dragged towards the exit by a determined Vanessa.


	29. Twenty Nine: Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Happy
> 
> I’ll be bringing these to an end soon. Maybe. Possibly. I am starting work on something else so they’ll slow down at least. So if there’s any other emotions you want to see done give me a shout!

Charity’s serving in the pub when Vanessa surfaces from the back area. She’s wearing her trademark yellow coat and her bag is slung over her shoulder, a sight which fills Charity with disappointment because it means she’s about to leave. Charity doesn’t know when she became the type of person to miss somebody when they’re just popping to the shops for an hour, but it’s apparently happened now, and she’s embracing it. Because it’s Vanessa, and since that first drunken kiss she just can’t get enough of her. Charity practically flings Robert’s pint at him, waving off his offer of a fiver and scurrying to the end of the bar to block Vanessa’s exit.

 

‘Where do you think you’re going?’

 

She hates the hint of desperation she can hear in her voice, but she doesn’t hate the smile it puts on Vanessa’s face or the way it makes her eyes shine.

 

‘That thing called food, remember? We have to buy it or we starve to death?’

 

Charity rolls her eyes, catching Vanessa around the waist as she tries to squeeze past her.

 

‘I can think of something I’d be happy to eat right here.’

 

This time it’s Vanessa who rolls her eyes at Charity’s innuendo and the way she wiggles her eyebrows. Chas pulls a face from the other end of the bar but Charity dismisses her with a wave of her hand.

 

‘Oh Chas you’re just jealous because Paddy would need a map to attempt that.’

 

Vanessa leans up on her tiptoes and kisses Charity, muttering a quiet ‘Behave’ against her lips as she does. She’s out from the bar and almost free when Charity grabs her wrist and pulls her back in for one more kiss.

 

‘Bring me back some of those posh crisps I like. And don’t be too long eh?’

 

Charity kisses her once more, ignoring Chas’ protests in the background about getting a room. In fact if anything, it only makes her kiss Vanessa harder. It’s as they’re hugging when it happens. Vanessa squeezes her waist and begins to move away. Charity presses a kiss to the side of her head and the words are out of her mouth before she even realises what she’s saying.

 

‘Love you babe.’

 

The background noise of the pub is drowned out by a rushing sound in her ears. She stares at the back of Vanessa’s head with a panicked look on her face, a variety of excuses already running through her head. But Vanessa doesn’t even look back, she just keeps walking until she’s disappeared out the pub. Charity looks over at Chas who seems just as shocked as she is.

 

‘Charity Dingle. In love. I never thought I’d see the day.’

 

Paddy chooses that moment to come stumbling out of the back, wrestling his arms into his gilet. He looks between the two women, brow furrowing in confusion.

 

‘What’s gone on? Have you two had a barney?’

 

Charity opens her mouth but Chas beats her to it, undisguised glee in her voice.

 

‘Just our Charity declaring her undying love. And Vanessa not even noticing.’

 

The sound of a glass slamming down on the bar draws both their attention, Charity sulking as she slopes off to collect more glasses.

 

‘I did NOT declare my undying love. You misheard.’

 

Charity swipes up more glasses, placing them so violently in the glass holder they rattle around and it’s a wonder none shatter.

 

‘Did I mishear you too?’

 

The colour drains from Charity’s face as she turns to find Vanessa stood just inside the entrance, slightly out of breath and her car keys dangling from her fingers.

 

‘Got half way down the road before I realised what you’d said didn’t I.’

 

Vanessa takes one step closer, the keys jangling in her hand. The entire pub is looking at them now. Charity has never been one to shy away from an audience before. In fact in the past she’s positively revelled in it. But right now she’d give anything to not have half the village gawping at her, waiting for her to mess this up. She notices Chas open her mouth, intent on saying something until Paddy jerks on her arm roughly.

 

‘Don’t.’ He whispers, talking out the side of his mouth like a ventriloquist. ‘I want to see what she does.’

 

Chas raises her eyebrows and smirks.

 

‘She hasn’t ran yet. Such growth. I’m so proud.’

 

She places her hand over heart and giggles, until Charity shoots her a death glare that promptly shuts her up. Vanessa hasn’t even noticed the pair of them taking the mickey, she’s still stood staring at Charity waiting for some sort of response. With a determined nod, Charity stalks over to the bell at the end of the bar and rings it loudly. Once all eyes are on her she takes a deep breath and begins speaking before she loses her nerve.

 

‘Alright I know half of you here think I’m some soulless monster.’ She points at Megan in the corner and winks. ‘And you all love a good gossip. Well here you go, this should keep you going for a while.’

 

Charity walks around the bar and grabs Vanessa’s wrist, pulling her back to the bell.

 

‘Charity.’ Vanessa hisses and resists. ‘What on earth are you doing.’

 

‘This won’t take a minute babe.’

 

Charity presses a finger to Vanessa’s lips to quiet her and then turns back to the audience she’s gathered.

 

‘I love this woman.’ She points at herself. ‘Me. Charity Dingle.’ Then points at Vanessa. ‘I love her. Vanessa Woodfield.’

 

Charity pauses a moment as if she’s expecting somebody to chime in, but the entire pub is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. A quick look around the faces in front of her show mostly shock and amusement. Pearl is grinning like some madwoman, probably enjoying the fact she’ll have something to talk about at work for the rest of the week. Charity chances a glance at Vanessa, whose opinion is really the only one that matters to her right now. And her girlfriend looks so happy it causes her stomach to flip. Vanessa is looking at her like she’s making all her hopes and dreams come true. Not so long ago that would have made Charity run a mile in the other direction, but now it fills her with so much hope and happiness sometimes she thinks she might burst from it all. With one final wave of her hand she points at Chas who is staring at her in shock.

 

‘Alright now that’s done. You can go back to spending your money in my pub. Chas will be happy to sort you out.’

 

As the quiet murmuring of different groups chatting between themselves resumes, Chas watches as Vanessa pulls Charity into a hug. They stand at the end of the bar just gazing into each other’s eyes like a couple of lovesick teenagers. It makes Chas smile, to see Charity so happy. She wraps her arms around Paddy as she continues to watch them. Charity whispers something in Vanessa’s ear which causes her to grin widely and drag Charity out the back, the food shop temporarily forgotten. Paddy and Chas watch them go, staring at the doorway long after they’ve disappeared. Eventually Paddy turns to Chas, removing his glasses and rubbing them furiously with a cloth.

 

‘Do you think we can expect all of the important moments in their relationship to be announced in this way?’

 


	30. Thirty: Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Anger
> 
> Requested by an anon commenter. 
> 
> Set after they’re together but before the suspension.

Vanessa walks up to the pub with a huge smile on her face. She’s having a great day; she was able to save the life of a particularly poorly dog, as well as helping a mare give birth. And to top it all off, Charity texts her as she’s finishing announcing they are child free and alone for the evening. So Vanessa tries not to look too eager as she practically sprints through the entrance. All that is brought screaming down around her though when she lays her eyes on Charity and sees some woman she doesn’t recognise standing far too close for her liking. In fact that’s not even right, this woman looks like she’s poured herself over Charity she’s that close. And she’s _gorgeous_.

 

Chas notices her first. She’s mid laugh when their eyes meet but that soon fades away. Her eyes dart between Charity and Vanessa, seemingly trying to decide how to handle this situation. When Charity’s hand moves lower on this woman’s back, not quite touching her ass but sailing dangerously close, Chas decides to act.

 

‘VANESSA. Hello!’

 

The greeting comes out more of a squeak than anything else, but it serves its purpose. Charity was in the middle of what appears to be a joke with the mystery woman and a man Vanessa doesn’t recognise either, but at the mention of Vanessa her head promptly snaps round towards the entrance. On seeing Vanessa, and her facial expression, she literally jumps a few inches away from the woman, pulling her hand back as if she’s been burned.

 

‘Vanessa. Hi. Erm...hi.’

 

In the time it takes Vanessa to join them at the end of the bar, Charity has whispered something in the man’s ear. He nods at her in response and leaves, brushing past Vanessa on his way out.Vanessa doesn’t really pay him any mind, her focus is on the woman instead, and she doesn’t stop walking until she’s firmly in her personal space.

 

‘I’m Charlotte. And you are?’

 

Charlotte holds her hand out into the very small gap Vanessa has left between them, looking a little nervous but not conceding any ground to her credit. Vanessa leaves her hanging though, no intention of being friendly.

 

‘Her girlfriend.’ She nods in Charity’s direction, who has the good grace to look down guiltily. ‘So you can go now.’

 

Charlotte looks between Vanessa and Charity, neither of whom return her gaze. So she looks to Chas for help who simply shrugs her shoulders and backs away from the situation with a gesture towards a newspaper she’s been reading at the bar.

 

‘Charity, I think it’s time you said goodbye to Cheryl here-‘

 

‘-erm...’ Charlotte holds a hand up in front of Vanessa’s face. ‘Actually it’s Char-‘

 

‘Whatever.’ Vanessa bats the hand away from her without even making eye contact. ‘It’s time for her to go Charity. Now.’

 

That seems to spur Charity into action, and she shepherds Charlotte out of the pub, having the sense to not touch her in any way when they say their goodbyes at the door. When she turns around, her apprehensive expression morphs immediately into confusion when Vanessa is nowhere to be seen. She looks to Chas who points behind her into the back.

 

‘I think you best get out there and explain. Pronto.’

 

Charity nods, taking a deep breath and creeping slowly out the back. She opens the living room door slowly, poking her head in before entering fully. She spots Vanessa immediately, sat on the couch facing away from her. Charity leans back against the door, wincing as it clicks shut, the noise reverberating around the room in the silence. It’s impossible for Charity to gauge Vanessa’s mood but she’s fairly certain it isn’t going to be good.

 

‘Babe, listen I-‘

 

Whatever Charity is going to say is cut off by a cushion from the couch hitting her in the face. The shock of it sends her back into the door with a thud and when she regains her senses Vanessa is stood a few feet away with another cushion balled up in her fist and the most angry expression Charity might have ever seen on her face.

 

‘OK I’ll give you that one.’ Charity rubs her face where she took the full force of the cushion. ‘But babe please let me explain. There’s a good explanation.’

 

Vanessa advances on her by a single step, and Charity backs even further into the door, her hands spreading out against the wood as her eyes dart panicky from side to side.

 

‘A good explanation? A GOOD explanation?’ The cushion squashes up as Vanessa’s grip tightens. Charity can see the white of her bones in her knuckles she’s gripping it so hard.

 

‘Please enlighten me then Charity because I’m _very_ interested to know why your hand...’ Vanessa hits Charity on the arm with the cushion. ‘...was on her ass.’ Another whack on her legs.

 

Charity tries in vain to grab the cushion back off Vanessa but she’s too quick and instead uses the opportunity to get a third hit in across her arms.

 

‘Babe it wasn’t on her ass!’ Vanessa raises the cushion again and emits what Charity can only describe as a growl. She waves her hands in front of her in surrender. ‘Ok, _so_ not the point. Gotcha.’

 

Charity edges forward ever so slightly, pointing towards the couch. She breathes a sigh of relief when Vanessa glares at her but finally concedes and sits back down. Charity follows her over and sits down, albeit a safe distance away.

 

‘Babe listen I’m sorry yeah? But it was just for show. That guy she was with? Well she wasn’t actually with him. He was pestering her no end.’

 

Charity picks at an imaginary piece of dust on her jeans. She sneaks a glance at Vanessa, encouraged by the fact her anger seems to be receding.

 

‘He was being proper creepy and wouldn’t you know it, Cain and Pete were nowhere to be found so there was no muscle for back up. So I pretended we were together to get him to back off. Couldn’t have him following her after she left could I?’

 

Charity watches Vanessa carefully as she explains, relief flooding her body at the way Vanessa’s anger visibly fades away as the story progresses. She shifts slightly closer on the couch, elated when Vanessa doesn’t move away.

 

‘If you think about it babe, I really was just performing a public service.’

 

At that, Vanessa shoots a hard glance at Charity, who lurches forward and grips at Vanessa’s knee.

 

‘OK so maybe its best you don’t think about it at all yeah?’

 

The two women stare off at each other for a few long seconds until finally Vanessa emits a loud and exaggerated sigh.

 

‘ _Fine_ yes ok. I get it.’

 

Charity perks up at that, taking it as a sign she can move even closer to Vanessa. She shifts across far enough that their thighs are now touching, the sensation lighting up her insides as it always does at even the slightest touch from Vanessa.

 

‘Doesn’t mean you’re off the hook yet though.’

 

Charity nods immediately. She’s already thinking of numerous ways she can make this up to Vanessa, a number of them enjoyable for her too.

 

‘I was going to tell you as soon as you got here babe. Swear.’

 

Vanessa cocks her head to the side, pretending to think about that one. She knows she’s already going to forgive Charity, but she wants to let her sweat a little longer. This version of Charity, the one that’s a little panicky and frantic, she likes this version. Because this version of Charity admits things that make Vanessa go weak at the knees. Things like _‘I do actually care about you.Quite a bit actually.’_ And she’s not disappointed this time either.

 

‘Babe you know I’ve only got eyes for you. You’re the only one I want like that.’

 

Finally Vanessa smiles and she reaches over to grab a fistful of Charity’s shirt, pulling her in for a kiss that’s all tongues and moaning. When they pull away Charity looks dazed and is breathing heavily. She allows Vanessa to take her hand and pull her off the couch towards the stairs.

 

‘Come on. I think it’s about time your hands were on me.’

 

 


	31. Thirty One: Anxious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Anxious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one’s for Fricks. Hope you like it.

‘And then Rhona kissed me and we had sex right here in the kitchen.’

 

Charity is staring down into her cereal, moving the spoon through the milk in circles as Vanessa speaks.

 

‘Uh huh. That’s great babe.’

 

Vanessa narrows her eyes at Charity as she continues to stir her cereal aimlessly.

 

‘She sat right where you are while she fucked me.’

 

Charity nods again, bringing up a spoonful of cereal but letting it fall back into the bowl instead of putting it in her mouth.

 

‘That’s brilliant Ness.’

 

Vanessa looks Charity up and down with a frown. It’s obvious something is wrong and she wracks her brain trying to think of what might have happened but comes up empty.

 

‘CHARITY.’

 

The sound of Vanessa raising her voice causes Charity to jump in her seat, the spoon dropping from her fingers and landing in the bowl with a clang. She looks at Vanessa but her eyes are unfocused with dark circles around them.

 

‘You haven’t been listening to anything I’ve been saying. What’s wrong?’

 

Charity tries to put on a brave face, but Vanessa doesn’t miss the wobble of the lip or the watering eyes before the mask comes down. Charity grabs her bowl and drops it in the sink, barely two mouthfuls of cereal eaten.

 

‘Nothing babe. Just preparing myself for another day of Chas’ squawking aren’t I.’ Charity leans down and presses a quick kiss to Vanessa’s cheek. ‘See ya later yeah?’

 

Before Vanessa even has a chance to respond Charity is gone out the front door, leaving her alone to scowl into her breakfast.

 

***

 

Later that evening Vanessa is cooking dinner for herself and Charity. She’s humming along while she stirs some sauce when she catches a glance at the clock and realises Charity has been upstairs nearly an hour. She was only meant to be having a quick shower so Vanessa turns off the heat and wanders upstairs, calling Charity’s name as she goes. The bathroom door is wide open, a wet towel on the floor and Charity’s clothes from the day strewn across the hall. Vanessa would normally find that irritating, but seeing Charity’s possessions in her house like this? Like she _belongs_? That _does_ things to Vanessa that makes her heart soar and her stomach churn.

 

‘Babe...why are you staring at my shirt and grinning like a maniac?’

 

Vanessa jumps as Charity suddenly appears in the doorway to her bedroom. She’s so busy hiding the grin on her face and swiping up the clothes from the floor that she misses Charity’s yawn and the way she rubs at her darkened eyes.

 

‘Just trying to figure out when exactly the carpet became the designated linen basket arent I.’

 

Charity rolls her eyes and grabs her discarded clothes from the floor, stalking over to the laundry basket and shoving them in and giving Vanessa an over exaggerated thumbs up.

 

‘Come on you, dinners ready and I’m starving. Let’s eat.’

 

Charity waves a hand in the direction of the stairs indicating for Vanessa to go first. Vanessa quirks an eyebrow, expecting her to make some sort of filthy remark about that but none is forthcoming so she wanders downstairs. Charity follows a few steps behind, stopping half way down to take a deep breath. She stares at the ceiling in silent prayer and rubs shaking hands over her face to compose herself. Taking a deep breath she plasters on a fake smile then goes the rest of the way down into the living room.

 

‘So...what we eating? You I hope?’

 

***

 

Vanessa’s sleeping soundly when she’s woken with a jolt by a bang. She rolls over to wake Charity only to find she isn’t there. The sheets are still warm so she can’t have been gone long. Pulling on a t shirt she makes her way down stairs as quietly as she can. By the time she reaches the living room her eyes have adjusted to the darkness and she can just make out Charity standing in the kitchen. What she sees makes her frown though because Charity is staring at a box of cereal scattered on the floor with such an anxious look on her face, biting her lip so hard Vanessa is worried she might break the skin.

 

‘Charity? What’s wrong?’

 

As soon as she hears Vanessa’s voice Charity flinches but within seconds the same fake smile from earlier in the evening is back on her face.

 

‘Sorry babe didn’t mean to wake you.’

 

Vanessa frowns, there’s something in Charity’s voice she didn’t notice earlier. It’s strained and slightly higher pitched, like she’s forcing it. Wandering closer she reaches to flick on the kitchen light when there’s a loud sigh from Charity.

 

‘Don’t.’

 

Vanessa’s hand hovers over the switch before dropping back down to her side. She covers the remaining distance between her and Charity, picking her way between the sea of cornflakes and coming to a stop a respectable distance away.

 

‘You can tell something’s wrong. I can see it in that gorgeous face of yours. If the jig’s up and I have to tell you, leave the light off. Please.’

 

This isn’t a new occurrence in their relationship. Ever since the day Charity had told her all about Bails, Vanessa has noticed a pattern where Charity seems to find it easier to tell her things in the darkness. When they’re in bed at night wrapped around each other, or huddled together on the couch watching a film late at night. Those are the times when Charity will speak freely and easily to her. More so than in the light of day when other people can interrupt and see and hear and _know_. Vanessa waits patiently for Charity to make the first move, and allows herself to be pulled over to the couch when Charity takes her hand.

 

‘I haven’t been sleeping.’

 

Vanessa leans back against the arm of the couch and manoeuvres Charity between her legs so that she’s resting her head on her chest. Another thing she has come to learn about Charity is that she finds it easiest to talk about things if they aren’t making eye contact, but maintain physical contact of some sort.

 

‘I’ve been having nightmares.’ Charity snuggles down further into Vanessa’s embrace. ‘About...Bails. Must be with the trial coming up next month.’

 

Vanessa tightens her arms around Charity and kisses the top of her head. She stays silent for now, Charity prefers to get out everything she needs to say before hearing Vanessa’s comments.

 

‘I don’t know why I tried to hide it from you. Thought it would go away I s’pose. But I’m scared. And I’m tired Ness. I’m _so_ tired.’

 

Charity sniffles and buries her face in Vanessa’s neck. Vanessa runs the tips of her fingers up and down Charity’s bare arm over and over again, pleased when the actions seems to relax her.

 

‘I know it’s hard, but it’ll all be over soon then you never have to think about him ever again. He’ll be locked away and with any luck they’ll throw away the key.’

 

Vanessa feels Charity nod against her and then the faintest press of lips against her neck, causing her breath to hitch. She continues the path of her fingers but slows the pace down as she feels Charity’s breath deepen.

 

‘You sleep now Charity. I’ve got you.’ She places one last kiss on Charity’s temple as she watches her succumb to sleep. ‘I’ll always have you.’


	32. Thirty Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Curious
> 
> you_are_capable_of_amazingthings asked for this one.

‘Pleaseeeeeee Rhona, it’s only for one night. I’ll drop him tomorrow morning and pick him up the day after in time for his tea.’

 

Rhona sighs and shakes her head as she counts out vials of tranquilliser.

 

‘For the third time Vanessa, no. Pete and I have a romantic evening planned.’

 

Vanessa pouts, jumping up to sit on the counter next to where Rhona is working. She leans over the side, ducking her head so she’s in Rhona’s eyeline and makes what Charity calls her ‘Shrek Puss in Boots’ eyes.

 

‘This conference will knock a month off my suspension. I’ll be back working sooner. I can cover you for your little trysts with lover boy more often...’

 

Rhona cocks her head to one side as she considers that before rolling her eyes and nodding.

 

‘Fine yes alright.’

 

Vanessa jumps down from the counter and wraps both arms around Rhona who shrugs her off with a grimace.

 

‘Go on get out of here and let me work.’ Vanessa doesn’t need telling twice, half way to the door before Rhona even finishes her sentence. ‘And don’t forget Johnny’s teddy!’

 

***

 

‘Oh come on Chas it’s one night. Neither of us went to the last one. There’s a new supplier there.’ Charity waves a hand at Chas’ stomach. ‘And you can’t go can you.’

 

Chas straightens up from where she’s leaning on the bar and narrows her eyes at Charity.

 

‘Are you saying I can’t go just because I’m pregnant?’

 

Charity’s eyes widen briefly at the insinuation but then she holds up the bottle of vodka she’s been pouring from and waves it in Chas’ face.

 

‘Give over. We have to try before we buy don’t we. And you can’t do that.’

 

Chas’ shoulders slump as she admits defeat in this particular argument, and she nods at Charity.

 

‘Fine OK. But you’re doing the late shift on Monday.’

 

Charity smiles widely and agrees immediately to Chas’ terms. Her reaction causes Chas to become suspicious though, and she grabs a fistful of the back of Charity’s jacket as she’s walking away.

 

‘Hold on. This is work. Why are you so happy about this?’

 

The smile is soon wiped off Charity’s face, and she opts for a more somber look. Chas stares at her a few moments as if trying to ascertain what’s going on through mind reading.

 

‘Are you on a con? Because Vanessa won’t-‘

 

‘I’m not on a con Chas!’ Charity interrupts and waves both her hands in the air. ‘If you must know, the errrr, the sales rep is gorgeous. Isn’t he.’ Charity nods firmly as if trying to also convince herself.

 

Chas frowns then, and points her finger in Charity’s face accusingly.

 

‘I think Vanessa would like that even less than a con. Now you better not be thinking about messing up the best thing that’s ever happened to you madam.’

 

Charity looks at Chas like she’s grown a second head and rolls her eyes so hard it’s a wonder the punters don’t hear her do it.

 

‘There’s nothing wrong with window shopping. Vanessa knows I’d never go in and make a purchase, so to speak. Although I often think _you_ should consider that option and trade up from Paddy.’

 

Charity winks at Chas, laughing as she escapes into the back and narrowly avoids the packet of crisps that are thrown at her head.

 

***

 

The next evening Rhona drops by the pub with Johnny and Leo to give Paddy some documents for an important meeting the next day. She spies him sitting with Pearl at the end of the bar, Chas hanging around that end too whilst there aren’t any customers to serve.

 

‘Well who do we have here? Hello Johnny!’

 

Paddy reaches down and pretends to steal Johnny’s nose. He laughs and bats both his hands on the side of Paddy’s leg as an indication he wants to be lifted up. Paddy obliges, making an aeroplane noise as he hoists Johnny up to sit on the edge of the bar.

 

‘I’m just looking after him tonight while Vanessa’s at that conference thing.’

 

Rhona reaches over and squeezes one of Johnny’s cheeks as she speaks, and then lifts Leo up to sit beside him.

 

‘That’s not until next month.’

 

So much of Rhona’s attention is on the two boys that she nearly misses Pearl’s comment.

 

‘I know but she said...hang on. Wait what? Next month?’

 

Pearl nods, taking a sip of her brew as Rhona lets out a frustrated sigh. Paddy glances between the two women with a confused look on his face.

 

‘Sorry what’s this about Vanessa?’

 

Chas butts in, having finished serving Robert and Aaron. She leans across the bar and pecks Paddy on the lips then frowns when he doesn’t react.

 

‘Oh nothing. Just that she’s a lying toerag. Where do you suppose she’s gone?’

 

There’s a look of recognition on Chas’ face as she listens to Rhona. She smiles then nods knowingly.

 

‘Bloody Charity. I’ll kill her. Brewery event my arse. They’ve gone off together haven’t they.’

 

A look of realisation passes across all three of them sat at the bar at Chas’ words. Nobody says anything for a minute as they digest that information, the only sound from the group coming from Johnny and Leo as they giggle at a stuffed dinosaur that Johnny is making walk across the bar.

 

‘But why?’ Paddy suddenly stands up from his stool, gaining a confused look from the three women. ‘Why lie? I mean it’s not as if...as if, you know, they’re shy about _doing_ _it_. In here. At Vanessa’s. The vets. An-anywhere really.’

 

Pearl pulls a face at that and takes a long sip of her cup of tea. Placing the empty up back down she grabs her purse and puts on her jacket.

 

‘Yes on that note I’ll be off. I love a good gossip as much as the next person.’ Paddy holds his hand to his chest in mock shock. ‘But the less I hear about a naked Charity Dingle the better.’

 

They say their goodbyes to Pearl and watch her leave. Once she’s safely out the pub Paddy turns back to Rhona and Chas and stretches his hands out across the bar palms down.

 

‘Right ladies. Shall we find out what they’re up to?’

 

Chas looks at him like he’s just suggested eating mince pies on a July summers day. And Rhona just sighs and shakes her head.

 

‘You know Paddy you’re an old woman at heart. You give Pearl a run for her money. How would we even find them?’

 

The trio fall silent then as they contemplate how they could possibly go about finding Charity and Vanessa. When the door to the pub creaks and Tracy walks in, a sly smile makes its way across Rhona’s face.

 

‘Jackpot.’ She mutters under her breath. Then louder. ‘Tracy! Over here!’

 

It takes the three of them minutes to relay to Tracy what’s happened and she’s as in the dark about it as they are.

 

‘She told me she was having a quiet night in and wanted to be alone. I had to make myself scarce. The little fibber.’

 

Tracy pulls out her phone and starts fiddling with it.

 

‘Sorry Tracy. We were thinking maybe you could. You know. I mean, if you don’t mind. Maybe you could-‘

 

‘She’s at a hotel in Leeds.’

 

Tracy interrupts Paddy’s rambling by turning her phone round and showing the others an email regarding a hotel booking. Chas frowns as she scans it over.

 

‘For two people. I knew it.’ She sighs and gestures to the phone. ‘How did you get that?’

 

‘Ness shares her Netflix account with me.’ Tracy shrugs. ‘She must use the same password for everything. Rookie mistake.’ Tracy takes a deep breath and puts her phone away. ‘So who’s up for a trip to Leeds?’

 

***

 

‘Please Pete it’s only going to be for a few hours. Take them to see Ross! Johnny would love to see Moses.’

 

Pete watches Rhona as she paces back and forth in their living room in front of him. He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees.

 

‘So let me get this straight. You want to leave me with two kids. On a Saturday night. So you can go spy on your friends. Who are probably just having a dirty weekend away?’

 

Rhona looks at him like he’s gone mad.

 

‘Yes. Yes I do.’

 

Pete sinks back into the couch and rubs his hands over his eyes. Finally he nods and Rhona does a little dance before kissing him on the cheek and dashing out the house.

 

***

 

Rhona drives them to Leeds. If she’d let Paddy it’d be next year by the time they got there. They pull up at the hotel and he’s out the car before it’s even stopped, Tracy hot on his heels. She locks the car and chases after them, running smack bang into the back of Paddy when she reaches the reception area. Suddenly he turns round, mouth hanging open like a fish.

 

‘We haven’t thought this far ahead. How will we find them now?’

 

Tracy barges past the two of them and sashays over to the reception desk, flinging her hair over her shoulder and throwing a wink to the young lad on duty. Rhona and Paddy watch on open mouthed as she returns to them within minutes with a key card in her hand.

 

‘What did you...how did you...I mean-‘

 

‘What Paddy is TRYING to say is good work Tracy. Now lets go.’

 

They make their way up the correct floor via the lift, bickering about who presses the button. When they step off it’s a short walk to the required door and as soon as it’s in sight Tracy grabs both Rhona and Paddy by the arm to halt them in their tracks.

 

‘Wait. Should we be doing this?’ She chews on her bottom lip in worry. ‘What if they just wanted a posh bunk up? I don’t want to see Charity defiling my sister.’

 

Paddy shudders, images of that automatically running through his head. His face goes a deep shade of red as he points at the door and adopts a comical whisper.

 

‘We’ve come this far. Don’t you want to know what was worth lying about to all of us?’

 

Tracy looks at Rhona who simply shrugs, and finally nods her head as they make their way up to the door. Tracy flips the key card in her hand a couple of times before stepping away again.

 

‘No, we shouldn’t-‘

 

‘Oh for goodness sake. Let’s listen first shall we?’

 

Tracy seems satisfied at Rhona’s suggestion and the three of them squeeze around the doorway to press their ears against the wood. Rhona elbows Paddy in the side to get him to move over, her other arm awkwardly wrapped around Tracy’s waist in order to make room for them all.

 

‘I can’t hear anything. Can you? Paddy? Tracy?’

 

’Only you.’ Rhona hisses.

 

Paddy shakes his head no as they all strain to listen further. When no sign of movement is forthcoming they straighten up and move away from the door.

 

‘Well this is turning out to be much less-‘

 

Paddy is interrupted by the ding of the lift followed by a loud moan that is unmistakably Vanessa’s voice. Three heads turn to look down the hallway as Charity and Vanessa come crashing out the lift, Charity pushing Vanessa hard against the opposite wall. They’re locked in a passionate kiss and Charity’s left hand is hidden underneath Vanessa’s shirt. The pair of them stumble down the hallway completely oblivious to the presence of their three friends, who are watching them in shocked silence. It’s only when they’re less than ten feet away that Charity and Vanessa break apart, Vanessa fishing in her back pocket and pulling out a room key.

 

‘Babe get us inside this room right now before I- TRACY??’

 

Tracy visibly jumps in the air at finally being noticed, gripping on to Rhona’s arm and pointing at Paddy.

 

‘It was his idea!’

 

’It was NOT!’ Paddy gasps in horror.

 

Charity looks between the three of them and slowly removes her hand from Vanessa’s breast, using the back of said hand to wipe her mouth as she appraises them.

 

‘Yes. Yes I can believe that. Are we to expect you on our wedding night too Paddy?’

 

Paddy steps backwards and to the side slightly so that he’s partially shielded by Rhona. As if that will protect him from whatever anger is about to be sent his way.

 

‘Er yes thank you Tracy. We didn’t exactly drag you here did we. And we couldn’t have done it without you checking Vanessa’s emails.’

 

Vanessa looks up sharply at Rhona’s comment and Tracy at least has the good grace to act sheepish.

 

‘Same password as your Netflix. Sorry.’

 

Paddy finds some courage then and muscles forward past Tracy and Rhona. He points at both Charity and Vanessa, his face going such a deep shade of red Charity is worried he might actually combust.

 

‘Never mind all that. You lied to us and we-wait. What did you say before?’

 

His head swivels as if on a stick, gaze falling on Charity who allows a smirk to adorn her features as she realises what he’s cottoned on to.

 

‘Your wedding night?’

 

Paddy looks between Charity and Vanessa, then back at Rhona and Tracy. Finally he takes a look at the hand Charity had hidden underneath Vanessa’s top and emits what can only be described as a squeal.

 

‘Is that...is that...’

 

‘OH MY GOD V!’

 

‘Vanessa you didn’t!’

 

All three of them speak at the same time as the realisation of what’s happened stares at them in the form of a sparkling diamond on Charity’s left ring finger. Just in case there was any lingering confusion she holds up her hand for them to clearly see, looking over at Vanessa who is biting her lip and sporting a huge grin.

 

‘Wait, where’s Johnny? I left him with you Rhona.’

 

‘Oh he’s with Ross and Pete.’ Rhona waves her off. ‘Anyway don’t change the subject. How long have you been planning this?’

 

Vanessa doesn’t get a chance to answer as Tracy launches herself forward and catches her in a bear hug. The pair stumble back a few steps with the force of it until Tracy abruptly lets her go and does the same thing to Charity. Charity doesn’t quite embrace the contact as much as Vanessa does though, awkwardly patting her on the back before thrusting her away with both hands.

 

‘Yes well as lovely as this is. It doesn’t quite explain why you’re all here preventing me from giving her the night of her life.’ She cocks a thumb in Vanessa’s direction who blushes. ‘So if it’s all the same to you, I think we’ll be going in there now.’ She points towards their door. ‘And you lot can toddle on home yeah?’

 

Rhona and Tracy grin at Vanessa but Paddy nods his head furiously. He removes his glasses to give them a wipe, pointing them at Charity as he does so.

 

‘Er yes. Sorry. Carry on. I mean, not that you need my blessing but...yes. We’ll be leaving now.’

 

The trio move to the side to allow Charity to open the door and begin walking back down to the lift. They’re almost there when they hear Vanessa call Tracy’s name, and she turns to see her sister’s head poking back out of the hotel room.

 

‘Im changing my all my passwords in the morning.’


	33. Thirty Three: Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Love
> 
> AS wanted something about love and their wedding day. So here we go.

It’s a sunny day. Perhaps the sunniest they’ve had in weeks. Charity thinks that’s appropriate really. Since Vanessa is the human form of sunshine, bouncing around from place to place spreading her infectious joy and happiness. It had certainly worked on her at any rate. There’d been years and years of her life where she was convinced she’d never hold any happiness. That she didn’t even deserve it. But then Vanessa had come along in her superhero outfit. How fitting that was. Because Charity is in no doubt whatsoever that Vanessa has saved her. From not only herself but also from the many demons in her checkered past. But all that’s behind her now. For the most part anyway. She still finds herself getting in the middle of some scheme or other. These days though it’s less illegal, more silly. Like the day she helped Tracy get revenge on her latest stupid fella. Or the time she tried to spook Moira on Halloween and ended up with a fat lip. These days Vanessa picks her up from these incidents with a sigh and a withering look and a ‘ _Not_ _again_ _Charity_ ’. But Charity can tell she doesn’t really mind. She’s happier picking Charity up out of the mud in Moira’s farm than she would be out of a prison cell at any rate.

 

‘You going to stand out here all day?’

 

Charity smiles as Chas approaches. They’ve had a rocky year the pair of them. But they’re both finally in a place where they can allow themselves to be happy. Chas is married to Paddy now, pregnant again. Something Charity thought wouldn’t ever occur after what happened the last time. And Charity. Well, Charity is getting married too. _Today_ in fact.

 

‘If I go in there, I’ll have to get married.’

 

Chas looks at her like she’s gone stark raving mad.

 

‘That’s the whole idea of this isn’t it? What did you think would happen when you proposed to Vanessa?’

 

Chas nudges her shoulder gently. She’s only jesting but the statement holds some truth for Charity. She’s not new to marriage. But proposing to Vanessa is the first time she’s intending to do this and keep it forever. And until right now she hasn’t really sat and thought about what that might mean. How much work and responsibility that will put on her shoulders.

 

‘What if I mess this up Chas.’

 

Chas looks up into the bright sky, squinting against the sun but enjoying the feeling of the heat on her face. She looks over at Charity and sees genuine worry in her eyes.

 

‘Charity. You’d have to murder one of her family members before that woman ever breaks up with you. She looks at you like you’re a big fluffy warm jacket and she’s stuck in the North Pole. Even when you’re being an stubborn arse.’

 

Charity laughs at that. It’s so true she can’t even argue with Chas over it. They’ve been together nearly two years now and not once has Vanessa ever tried to change who she is. She puts up with the schemes, the arguing, the stroppiness, the act first think later. She puts up with it all and still comes home to her at the end of the day. And Charity _has_ changed because of that. Not because Vanessa wanted her to. But because _she_ wanted to. And she needed to. And now because she finally feels happy, she’s in a place where she can change. Can be a better person. And her life is so much better for that.

 

‘The woman deserves a prize doesn’t she. For putting up with me.’

 

‘I think that she sees _you_ as the prize Charity. And I’m not ruling out she’s had some sort of head injury. But that’s why you’ll get in there and marry her right now. Before she thinks you’ve done a runner.’

 

Charity smiles and nods. Chas gives her arm one final squeeze before motioning towards the church with her head. With a deep breath Charity steels herself and walks inside. She sees all of their family and friends arranged in the seating area. And Harriet at the top of the aisle. As recently as a year ago she wouldn’t have been kidding herself that they weren’t all here just for Vanessa. But now? After the trial and Sarah and everything else and the support she’s had from everyone? Now she knows these people are here for her too.

 

‘You look lovely Charity.’

 

Harriet smiles at her and she can’t help but return it. Her dress is a simple white, very understated. Chas had insisted that less is more. And against true Dingle tradition she had actually been right. There’s a cough from the other end of the church and the sound of music playing signals Vanessa’s arrival and makes Charity’s stomach lurch. The next few minutes go by in a blur. As soon as she catches sight of Vanessa everything else fades away. She looks beautiful. Like a real life angel and Charity cannot believe her luck. She almost pinches herself. Before she knows it Vanessa is stood right next to her, beaming at her with that all too familiar expression on her face like she’s just produced some sort of miracle.

 

‘Hi.’ Vanessa’s voice is soft, full of emotion.

 

‘Wow.’

 

Charity shakes her head at her inability to form any other words, as Vanessa blushes at her reaction. Harriet starts speaking but Charity barely pays any attention. She talks when she’s supposed to talk. Listens when she’s supposed to listen. But all she can focus on is Vanessa. She can’t tear her eyes away even for a second. Why would she want to? Everything goes quiet a moment later and she realises with a start that Harriet and Vanessa are both looking at her expectantly.

 

‘Right. Vows. Yes. Uh, one second.’

 

Charity takes Vanessa’s hands in her own and turns fully to face her. Vanessa has tears in her eyes already and she hasn’t even started speaking yet. Charity takes a deep breath and tunes out everything in the church except for Vanessa.

 

‘Ness. You came barrelling into my life in a drunken whirlwind. You didn’t take any of my shit.’ Charity’s eyes widen and she mouths ‘Sorry’ at Harriet. ‘Er, you didn’t take any of my crap. You’ve believed in me when most others wouldn’t. You’ve supported me through all of it. You’ve never once wavered in that determination to do right by me. And I couldn’t imagine the rest of my life without you in it.’

 

Vanessa smiles and wipes away a tear. Her other hand is squeezing Charity’s so hard she’s certain she can hear her bones creaking.

 

‘Oh! And, I love you.’

 

It’s said with such certainty, such ferocity that it throws Vanessa for a moment. She waited so long to say those words to Charity for the first time, but once they’d said them they found they couldn’t stop. And every time Charity says it, every single time, she says it like it’s the most important thing in the world. Like no other words matter in that moment. It makes Vanessa crumble every time. She thinks it always will.

 

‘Charity, it’s no secret I had to work bloody hard to get you into a relationship.’ The entire church chuckles along with Charity. ‘But once I had, you changed my life in ways I could never imagine. I knew I loved you the day you stuck a bloody mustache on my face. And I know I’ll love you until the day I die. You are strong and brave and fierce and everything good in this world. And I will always always be on your side. Now get that ring on my finger so I can be Mrs Dingle.’

 

Charity shoots her a watery smile as she takes the ring from Harriet and slips it onto Vanessa’s finger. Her hands are shaking so badly she thinks for a moment she’s going to drop the thing. But she gets it on safely eventually, grasping Vanessa’s fingers in her own and running her thumb over the ring when she does.

 

‘No getting rid of me now babe.’

 

‘Good.’ Vanessa leans in for a kiss but is stopped by Harriet’s hand in front of her face.

 

‘Excuse me Vanessa. I think there’s something you need to do before we get to that.’

 

Harriet holds up the other ring and Vanessa takes it with a blush. Charity watches fascinated as the ring slips onto her finger. When she’s done this in the past she always resented the ring. It felt like it was binding, tying her to the other person for reasons she didn’t want to be. But with Vanessa it feels safe, secure, like something that’s keeping her from falling to her death. And as Harriet allows Vanessa to kiss her, Charity thinks she finally feels complete.

 

 

 


	34. Thirty Four: Vengeance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotion: Vengeance
> 
> Paola_enigma asked for this one. Hope you like it!

‘Charity I really don’t think you should be doing this.’ Chas whispers through gritted teeth, holding the ladder steady as Charity wobbles at the top of it. ‘Get down now. I can’t believe you talked me into this!’

 

Charity turns and continues to fiddle with the rope she’s currently trying to tie a knot in. Wind, rain and the fact she’s ten feet up a ladder are all combining to make it damn near impossible for her to get the job done.

 

‘Yes well it’s too late to back out now isn’t it. So stop your squawking and hold me steady for Christ sake.’

 

Chas grumbles but does as she’s told. There’s a noise across the street and they both freeze as they stare into the darkness trying to see who it is. Both let out a sigh of relief when it turns out to be a cat.

 

‘Tell me again why we are risking life and limb for this?’

 

’WE? Excuse me I don’t see you up here. And we are doing it because Tracy is Vanessa’s sister and Vanessa is family right? Which makes Tracy family too. And he deserves it.’

 

‘You’re so under the thumb.’ She hears Chas sigh loudly but it’s not her main concern right now. With one final tug she finally manages to get the last rope secured. But she over estimates how far over she has to lean to reach it and the ladder wobbles too much for Chas to control. With a shriek Charity grabs the edge of the roof as she feels the ladder disappear beneath her feet.

 

‘Chas! Help!’

 

Chas scrabbles to pick up the ladder as Charity’s legs flail helplessly above her.

 

‘Be quiet for crying out loud you’ll have half the village up!’

 

Charity’s too busy clinging on for dear life to bother coming back with a witty retort but Chas is sure she’ll have one later on, once they’re back in the pub safely away from danger and any potential prying eyes. She’s just about to prop the ladder back up against the wall when Charity’s grip fails and she falls to the floor with a shriek. There’s a moment of silence where Chas stares at her open mouthed waiting for her to move.

 

‘Charity? Charity are you ok?’

 

After what feels like an eternity Charity groans and rolls over. Chas sprints the few paces over to where she landed and bends over her, wide eyes surveying up and down her body and then around them to establish if they’ve disturbed anyone. The street remains quiet, but Chas’ eyes linger an extra few seconds on Vanessa’s house. The last thing they need right now is anyone catching them but it’ll be even worse if that person ends up being Charity’s girlfriend. When all remains quiet she rests her hands on Charity’s arm ready to say something but is startled when Charity pulls back abruptly with a hiss of pain.

 

‘I think my wrist might be broken.’

 

Chas squints in the darkness as she focuses on Charity’s wrist. It’s already swelling up and looks slightly deformed. Nodding in agreement she puts her arms under Charity’s armpits and hoists her up without a word. She takes Charity’s unharmed hand in hers and attempts to drag her back to the pub. When they’re half way across the road Charity stops and turns to survey their handy work. With a satisfied nod she pulls free her hand and takes a picture with her phone before catching up to Chas.

 

‘Vanessa’s just going to kill you. You know that right?’

 

Charity rolls her eyes as she fashions a temporary sling out of the bottom of her shirt.

 

‘I’m not thinking of her am I? I’m thinking of Tracy. And she’ll love it. Vanessa will get over it.’

 

There’s a slight doubt that Chas sees in her eyes when she says it. It’s there every time she talks about something Vanessa won’t be happy with. Like she’s worried that one day, it’ll be one thing too far and Vanessa will snap and leave and never come back. Charity is pretty confident in her grovelling skills though. And she thinks she can definitely talk her way out of this one if needed. The two women finally come to a stop either side of Chas’ car, the only sound the beep as Chas uses her fob to unlock it.

 

‘Get in then. We better get down the hospital.’

 

***

 

Charity’s getting her wrist plastered when Vanessa finds them. They’re in a cubicle in A&E, nurse one side and Chas the other when they hear a commotion down the hall.From their position all they can hear is another nurse protesting about an intruder and raising their voice asking them to leave. Charity looks fearfully at Chas who simply raises an eyebrow in amusement.

 

‘That’s not...surely not. How would she know I’m here?’ Chas bites her lip and looks guiltily at the floor, recognition immediately covering Charity’s face. ‘Oh Chas what happened to Dingles don’t grass eh? You’ve well and truly done me in there haven’t you.’

 

The nurse’s voice comes closer until they’re stood right outside their cubicle. Charity can see the unmistakable silhouette of Vanessa stood next to somebody else, her suspicions confirmed when she hears her voice.

 

‘You listen right now. I’m her girlfriend. So unless you want a homophobic discrimination case on your hands I suggest you let me in there right this second.’

 

There’s a tense moment of silence where Charity stares at Chas wide eyed. Her eyes flick around the cubicle as if looking for a way to escape but it’s too late because then the curtain is thrown back and a furious looking Vanessa is stood at the foot of her bed with a tired nurse behind her shooting evil glances at the back of her head. Chas jumps up quickly before any words are spoken and gestures towards the nurse.

 

‘I’m so sorry love. Let me buy you a coffee eh? Come on.’

 

Chas wastes no time vacating the cubicle. She throws a small smile Vanessa’s way but it isn’t returned. Vanessa’s attention is fully on Charity now, who stares resolutely at her wrist as more and more layers of plaster are placed over it.

 

‘If you have any more painkillers now would be the time to put me out my misery darling.’

 

The nurse smirks and shakes her head as she places one last piece to Charity’s cast. With some instructions not to move and mumbling something about giving them privacy she’s out the cubicle before Charity can even respond, leaving her alone with Vanessa who has now come to the side of her bed.

 

‘Does it hurt?’ Vanessa wafts her hand in the general direction of Charity’s wrist, who nods. ‘Good.’

 

Charity frowns, reaching out with her good hand to try to touch Vanessa. But she takes a step backwards out of reach at the last minute so her hand falls limply onto the bed instead.

 

‘You could have died Charity. Did you think about that? Not to mention how stupid the idea is in the first place! What were you even trying to achieve?’

 

Charity bites her lip trying not to laugh. But it’s too late and a snort escapes her. It only serves to make Vanessa even more infuriated. Charity’s pretty sure if Vanessa was a cartoon character she’d have steam coming out of her ears right about now. She tries to say something to placate her but Vanessa is on a roll now and there’s no stopping her as she begins to pace side to side in the tiny cubicle.

 

‘Everyone knows it was you, you know. Who else would be stupid enough to do that? David’s not happy. And Tracy will...’

 

‘Tracy LOVES it.’ Tracy chooses then to announce her presence, having been waiting outside for the right moment to interrupt. ‘You’re a legend Charity. Sorry about, you know, _this_ though.’

 

Tracy waves her hand first towards Charity’s wrist and then in Vanessa’s direction and pulls a face at her. She then leans forward past Vanessa and raises her hand towards Charity in a high five gesture. Charity looks at Vanessa then Tracy before raising her hand slowly and clapping it against Tracy’s. The action causes Vanessa to scoff loudly.

 

‘Seriously? She plasters an enormous banner over his shop proclaiming him a cheating pillock and you congratulate her?’

 

Tracy looks at Vanessa like she’s gone mad, nodding slowly and pursing her lips.

 

‘He _is_ a cheating pillock V. _And_ he proposed to Maya on what would have been  _our_ anniversary. He deserves everything he gets.’

 

Vanessa sighs and rubs her temples. She scowls at the smug look that appears on Charity’s face now that she has backup in this argument. They’re outnumbering her two to one and she doesn’t have the energy to argue with them any longer.

 

‘I’ll just leave you two children to it then shall I? Don’t come running to me when you need help getting dressed.’

 

That soon gets Charity’s attention and she sits up in bed suddenly, wincing against the pain the sudden movement causes in her arm. Vanessa notices this and immediately is back at Charity’s side in a second, barging Tracy out the way to get to her as quickly as possible.

 

‘What? What is it? Do you need more painkillers?’

 

The sound of Tracy laughing makes Vanessa stop fussing over Charity and she turns to look at her sister in confusion.

 

‘Oh V. You’re so whipped. You can’t even be mad at her without catering to her every need.’

 

A sharp glare from Vanessa has Tracy grabbing her bag and scurrying away with a comment over her shoulder about fetching coffee. As soon as she’s out of sight Charity opens her mouth, ready to apologise but Vanessa stops it with a finger over her lips.

 

‘Shut up and listen for a moment.’ Charity nods, pressing her lips into the finger touching them briefly. ‘You could have died.’

 

Charity opens her mouth to respond but Vanessa presses her finger into her lips even harder to stop her. Her eyes are wide and filled with tears and it makes Charity’s heart hurt. It’s only now, seeing Vanessa’s reaction that it sinks in the potential implications of what she did.

 

‘I can’t lose you.’ Vanessa’s bottom lip wobbles and she takes a shuddering breath that Charity feels deep in her soul. ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you.’

 

Charity reaches up and links their fingers together, turning Vanessa’s hand and kissing her palm. Then she tugs Vanessa forward until she’s got no choice but to perch on the edge of the bed. Once satisfied she isn’t going anywhere, Charity lets go of her hand and trails her own up Vanessa’s arm, not stopping until it reaches her neck and tangles in her hair. She pulls her forward without a word and kisses her deeply. Vanessa’s hands come up to cup Charity’s face and she moans into the kiss. Satisfied that Vanessa’s anger has dissipated sufficiently, Charity pulls away but only far enough to rest their foreheads together.

 

‘I’m sorry.’ Charity whispers into the small space between them. ‘I don’t want to ever leave you. No more risky games I promise.’

 

Vanessa nods and leans in for another quick kiss before she suddenly laughs. ‘You should have seen David’s face when he noticed it.’

 

‘Damn I really wanted to be there for that.’

 

Charity pouts and Vanessa shakes her head at how much she acts like Noah in situations like this. It’s obvious where he gets his mannerisms and behaviour from. Fishing in her bag for her phone she grins widely at Charity.

 

‘Well lucky you I recorded it then isn’t it?’


	35. Thirty Five: Distracted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Distracted. 
> 
> This was asked for by Paola_enigma. 
> 
> This is also the last entry in this work. I’ll be moving onto something else very soon. Thank you to everybody who left kudos or comments on this.

‘...and then she hung up but I’ve booked her in for Friday anyway. You’ll be fine doing that on your own won’t you?’

 

Rhona waits expectantly for an answer from Vanessa but none is forthcoming. When she follows her friend’s eye line it’s of no surprise to her whatsoever that her attention is on Charity at the end of the bar instead of their current conversation. Rhona sighs and takes a sip of her drink, banging the pint glass back down onto the table so loudly it makes Vanessa jump and tear her eyes away from Charity.

 

‘I’m sorry Ness, does Charity’s _ass_ have something more important to say right now?’

 

Vanessa blushes at the fact she’s been caught, which only deepens when it becomes apparent that Charity has actually heard what Rhona says. She’s clearing a table at the time but stops to lean against the bar and shoots one of those frustratingly smug smirks in Vanessa’s direction.

 

‘You’d think considering you’ve just finished a suspension that partly happened because you couldn’t resist a quick snog with her that you’d be a bit more attentive this time.’

 

Vanessa nods quickly at Rhona’s words, feeling a little like a child being told off by the head mistress. But Rhona is right and she really should be focusing on their meeting instead of Charity. That’s going to be very difficult though when the object of their discussion is now making her way towards them. Charity saunters over, draping herself across Vanessa’s shoulders as she picks up their empty glasses.

 

‘Want... _filling_ _up_ babe?’

 

Charity lays it on thick, lowering her voice and licking her lips as she awaits Vanessa’s response. But all Vanessa can do is turn a shade of red even Paddy would be proud of and nod her head.

 

‘Oh for crying out loud. You pair have been together for over a year. Will this honeymoon period ever end?’ Rhona sighs and rubs her hand across tired eyes.

 

‘No it won’t.’ Vanessa smiles dopily up at Charity.

 

‘Excuse me it has not been a year!’ Charity’s hand comes up to her chest in the most affronted look she can manage.

 

‘Er, Charity yes it has.’ Vanessa scowls then reaches up and unceremoniously pulls Charity down to her level by the lapels on her jacket.

 

‘We agreed our anniversary would go from the night in the gay bar remember?’ Vanessa hisses in Charity’s ear loud enough for Rhona to still hear them. ‘You don’t start counting from scratch if you split up and get back together.’

 

Charity rolls her eyes as Vanessa starts lecturing her on the fact they even had an anniversary dinner a month ago. Both women appear to have forgotten Rhona is even there until she clears her throat loudly and looks between them incredulously, Charity winks at her but Vanessa is staring resolutely down into her empty pint glass. When neither of them offer up any sort of apology she grabs her bag with a sigh and shuffles sideways out of the booth.

 

‘There’s no point us trying to do this here is there. Take a long lunch and we’ll finish this back at the practice in a couple of hours.’

 

Vanessa at least has the good grace to look guilty then and opens her mouth but Rhona cuts her off before she can say anything.

 

‘No buts Vanessa. Get her out of your system. As much as you can do anyway.’ Rhona pulls a face as she gestures between the two of them. ‘And I’ll see you later yeah?’

 

***

 

Vanessa pokes her head round the door to the vets with a sheepish look on her face. Rhona and Paddy are huddled over an anaesthetised dog so don’t notice her immediately. There’s nobody else in the practice; it’s a quiet day so she shrugs off her coat with a ‘Hiya’ and gets straight to the stack of paperwork on the desk.

 

‘Managed to tear yourself away for long enough to grace us with your presence then?’

 

Vanessa blushes and nods towards Rhona, who waves her stethoscope threateningly in her direction.

 

‘I’m sorry Rhona she’s just so...what’s the word?’

 

‘Annoying?’

 

Paddy helpfully supplies from the other room, earning him a glare from Vanessa and a smirk from Rhona.

 

‘Addictive.’

 

Vanessa cocks her head to the side as she considers her own word before shaking her head slightly.

 

‘No, that’s not the right word. She’s...’ Vanessa trails off as her phone starts vibrating on the desk in front of her. ‘...ringing me. Hold that thought two secs.’

 

She hears Paddy and Rhona grumbling behind her as she smiles into the phone at the sound of Charity’s voice. It’s only been fifteen minutes since she left her but there’s a hint of desperation in Charity’s voice that just thrills her to her core.

 

‘Charity _stop_.’

 

Vanessa giggles like a school girl, and Paddy and Rhona grimace at each other.

 

‘Charity I _can’t_.’ Vanessa’s voice lowers to a whisper. ‘Because I’m working and we just did...you know, _that_. God you’re insatiable.’

 

‘Oh for crying out loud.’ Paddy gulps and makes a show of tidying a tray of instruments next to him. ‘Do they never stop.’

 

‘Nope.’ Rhona shakes her head as she leans back in her chair trying to catch the rest of Vanessa’s conversation. When it becomes clear she isn’t going to hang up any time soon Rhona takes aim and throws a screwed up piece of paper at her. It hits Vanessa square in the back and she whirls round immediately.

 

‘Charity put her down.’ Rhona shouts loud enough that she knows Charity will hear on the other end of the phone. She doesn’t hear Charity’s response but she can tell by the look that appears on Vanessa’s face that it is less than savoury. ‘Paperwork Ness. Now.’

 

***

 

Charity should be happy. Delighted in fact. She’s on Vanessa’s couch wearing nothing but a pair of knickers with Vanessa herself on her knees straddling her. Except she’s not happy. And she’s not happy because Vanessa stopped what they were doing to answer the bloody phone. Charity can’t quite believe it even happened to be honest. She’s starting to doubt her prowess in this area if Vanessa had the wherewithal to answer the phone when she was doing...what she was just doing to her.

 

‘Yes Paddy I know but...’ Vanessa rolls her eyes at Charity, making a yapping gesture with her hand. ‘But what if I...’

 

Charity can’t quite hear exactly what Paddy is saying, only that he’s yammering on far too long for her liking. She’s bored of waiting so she decides to take matters into her own hands. Leaning forward she starts kissing a line from Vanessa’s stomach up her ribs and towards her bare breasts. The second Vanessa catches on to what she’s doing she tries to push Charity’s head away with her free hand and climb off her. But Charity is anticipating that and is too quick. She wraps her arms around Vanessa’s waist and pulls her closer, their hips flush together now and her mouth closes over a nipple.

 

‘Yes Paddy I can- oh! - yes I can d-do that.’ Vanessa shoots Charity a glare so stern if looks could kill she’d be ten feet under immediately. ‘No sorry I just...stepped on one of Johnny’s toys. Carry on.’

 

Charity chuckles lightly as she trails her mouth higher up to reach Vanessa’s neck. But Vanessa has other ideas and in a show of strength Charity will definitely want to see more of in the near future she pushes herself up and off the couch completely. Charity sits back with a huff, unhappy that particular plan didn’t work. That is until another pops into her head almost immediately.

 

‘Ness. Hey, Ness.’

 

She reclines on the couch, her long blonde hair making a halo as she rests the back of her head against the arm. Reaching out with her foot she prods Vanessa in the back of the leg, causing her to turn around.

 

‘Yeah but it should only take an hour or so. I’ll be able to-‘

 

Vanessa stops mid sentence and drops the phone on the floor. She stares open mouthed at Charity, the faint sound of Paddy calling her name from the dropped phone the only sound in the room.

 

‘You...you’re...um...’

 

Charity maintains eye contact with Vanessa as she bites her lip and nods. Her left hand is firmly inside her underwear, moving back and forth against the fabric and leaving no doubt in Vanessa’s mind just exactly what is going on.

 

‘Babe, why don’t you tell Paddy you have to go. And hang up that phone and get over here yeah?’

 

Vanessa nods, bending abruptly to retrieve the phone. Her hands scrabble blindly on the floor, unwilling to remove her gaze from Charity for even a second. When she finally feels her fingers touch the edge of the phone she grabs it and stands so quickly she goes dizzy for a moment.

 

‘Paddy sorry. Got to go. Call you back later.’

 

Vanessa doesn’t even wait for a reply before throwing the phone onto the armchair and in one large step she’s back in front of the couch, mesmerised once more by the movements of Charity’s hand.

 

‘Do you...I mean, can I...take over?’

 

Charity smirks and shakes her head before pointing to the opposite side of the couch with her free hand.

 

‘No. No babe. Your punishment is to sit there and watch. No touching whatsoever.’

 

Vanessa stares at Charity wide eyed, like she can’t quite believe what’s actually happening. Finally, she nods slowly and takes a seat.

 

 


End file.
